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Withdrawal Jokes

34 withdrawal jokes and hilarious withdrawal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about withdrawal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Withdrawal Short Jokes

Short withdrawal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The withdrawal humour may include short removal jokes also.

  1. What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus? A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
  2. I was at the bank going to withdraw money from my account when the clerk told me I had an outstanding balance I told her thank you I did gymnastics as a kid.
  3. What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion? A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.
  4. I have an addiction to having lots of money in my bank account. Unfortunately, I'm suffering from withdrawals.
  5. What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? A visit from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding.
  6. Brett Kavanaugh is being urged to withdraw, but is refusing to. A bit like that time in 1982.
  7. What do you get when you cross a lion with an octopus? A stern rebuke from the scientific community and a immediate withdrawal of funding
  8. What do you get when you cross an elephant and an octopus? A visit from the ehtics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funds.
  9. One of my friends is addicted to money.. And since he's out of cash, he's going through withdrawal..
  10. What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA? A strongly worded reprimand from the university's board of regents, and an immediate withdrawal of your funding.

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Withdrawal One Liners

Which withdrawal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with withdrawal? I can suggest the ones about retreat and retirement.

  1. I'm addicted to having money in the bank. And I really do suffer from withdrawals.
  2. The ATM has the shakes... And other withdrawal symptoms too.
  3. Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawals.
  4. I'm addicted to poverty If my bank account has money in it I suffer withdrawal.
  5. Was at the ATM withdrawing money, then a robber tried to rob my balance I fell.
  6. Where do fish go to withdraw money The Loan shark
  7. What was Putin's response when asked to withdraw from Ukraine? Crimea river.
  8. What did the pizzeria owner say while having withdrawals? Give me the dough, I KNEAD IT
  9. What does a bank and a women have in common? When you withdraw, you loose interest.
  10. Why do Bankers make for great lovers Because they know the penalty for early withdrawals
  11. Why are women like money in the bank? Once you withdraw you lose interest.
  12. I'm addicted to people being smart The withdrawals are my personality.
  13. Withdrawal is not a good method of Contraception Just ask my third child
  14. Why does the addict avoid going to the bank? Because he suffers from cash withdrawals.
  15. I went through steak withdrawal last night... Worst protein shakes I've ever had.

Withdrawal joke, I went through steak withdrawal last night...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about withdrawal can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of withdrawal puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Howlingly Hilarious Withdrawal Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about withdrawal you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean abstinence jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make withdrawal prank.

Brett Kavanaugh has stated that he will not be pressured into withdrawing his Supreme Court bid by the allegations made against him.

He sounds like the kind of guy who just won't take 'no' for an answer.

A man calls the First National Bank of Texas. The automated voice answers, "Hello, how can I assist you today?" The man says, "Withdrawal"

The automated voice says, "YEEHAW! HOW Y'ALL RECKON I CAN HELP?!"

Julie Andrews withdraws her endorsement

Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Revlon Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.
In a statement she said, "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."

You order one pizza

You love it.
Next time you order a pizza and a garlic bread.
Before you know it, your eating pizzas for every meal, and you get withdrawal symptoms if you don't get one.
That's the domino effect.

Late Night Phone Call To The Vet

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog
while the neighbors were on vacation.
She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds,
rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage,
as so frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet,
who answered in a very grumpy voice.
Having explained the problem to him, the vet said,
"Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.
I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his e**...
and he will be able to withdraw."
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
"Just worked on me," he replied.

Woman can't get mating dogs apart

A woman had two dogs that she hadn't had fixed, but always kept them from mating. One night she wakes up at 2 AM to this terrible howling.
She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and is unable to separate them.
She called her vet ,who answered in a very grumpy voice.
After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his e**... and he will be able to withdraw.
Do you think that will work? she asked.
Just worked for me, he replied.

Interesting Parliaments.

Member of Parliament: Mr speaker, half of the members in this house are s**....
Speaker: Honourable member please withdraw that statement.
Member of parliament: My apologies Mr speaker, half of members in this house are not s**....
Speaker: Thank you, lets move on.

s**... is like banking

First you make a deposit.
Then you make a withdrawal.
Then you lose interest.

What does s**... have in common with a savings account?

You lose interest once you make a withdrawal

Withdrawal joke, What do you get when you cross a lion with an octopus?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these withdrawal jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.