Withdraw Jokes
33 withdraw jokes and hilarious withdraw puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about withdraw that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Withdraw Short Jokes
Short withdraw jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The withdraw humour may include short quit jokes also.
- I was at the bank going to withdraw money from my account when the clerk told me I had an outstanding balance I told her thank you I did gymnastics as a kid.
- Brett Kavanaugh is being urged to withdraw, but is refusing to. A bit like that time in 1982.
- What do you get when you cross a lion with an octopus? A stern rebuke from the scientific community and a immediate withdrawal of funding
- What do you get when you cross an elephant and an octopus? A visit from the ehtics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funds.
- One of my friends is addicted to money.. And since he's out of cash, he's going through withdrawal..
- Placebos Turns out I'm addicted to placebos. I thought I could quit any time, but then withdrawal made me psychosomatic and gave me hypochondria.
- Why do recovering addicts make good bankers? They have a lot of experience with withdrawals
- How are one night stands like savings accounts? ...you make a deposit, withdrawal, then lose interest.
- Why didn't the paranoid schizophrenic have any money in the bank? He had a tendency to withdraw.
- If being spineless is a crime, sue me! I think, I'll just plead guilty.
*On a serious note, I'll probably beg you to withdraw charges.*
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Withdraw One Liners
Which withdraw one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with withdraw? I can suggest the ones about exit and dispose.
- I'm addicted to having money in the bank. And I really do suffer from withdrawals.
- The ATM has the shakes... And other withdrawal symptoms too.
- Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawals.
- I'm addicted to poverty If my bank account has money in it I suffer withdrawal.
- Was at the ATM withdrawing money, then a robber tried to rob my balance I fell.
- Where do fish go to withdraw money The Loan shark
- What did the pizzeria owner say while having withdrawals? Give me the dough, I KNEAD IT
- What does a bank and a women have in common? When you withdraw, you loose interest.
- Why do Bankers make for great lovers Because they know the penalty for early withdrawals
- I'm addicted to people being smart The withdrawals are my personality.
- Withdrawal is not a good method of Contraception Just ask my third child
- Why does the addict avoid going to the bank? Because he suffers from cash withdrawals.
- I went through steak withdrawal last night... Worst protein shakes I've ever had.
- I think I'm addicted to saving money.. every time I go to an ATM I suffer withdrawal.
- What's the best way for an artist to quit smoking? Withdrawing
Laughable Withdraw Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about withdraw you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean subtract jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make withdraw pranks.
Brett Kavanaugh has stated that he will not be pressured into withdrawing his Supreme Court bid by the allegations made against him.
He sounds like the kind of guy who just won't take 'no' for an answer.
A man calls the First National Bank of Texas. The automated voice answers, "Hello, how can I assist you today?" The man says, "Withdrawal"
The automated voice says, "YEEHAW! HOW Y'ALL RECKON I CAN HELP?!"
Julie Andrews withdraws her endorsement
Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Revlon Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.
In a statement she said, "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."
You order one pizza
You love it.
Next time you order a pizza and a garlic bread.
Before you know it, your eating pizzas for every meal, and you get withdrawal symptoms if you don't get one.
That's the domino effect.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Late Night Phone Call To The Vet
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog
while the neighbors were on vacation.
She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds,
rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage,
as so frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet,
who answered in a very grumpy voice.
Having explained the problem to him, the vet said,
"Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.
I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his e**...
and he will be able to withdraw."
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
"Just worked on me," he replied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Woman can't get mating dogs apart
A woman had two dogs that she hadn't had fixed, but always kept them from mating. One night she wakes up at 2 AM to this terrible howling.
She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and is unable to separate them.
She called her vet ,who answered in a very grumpy voice.
After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his e**... and he will be able to withdraw.
Do you think that will work? she asked.
Just worked for me, he replied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Interesting Parliaments.
Member of Parliament: Mr speaker, half of the members in this house are s**....
Speaker: Honourable member please withdraw that statement.
Member of parliament: My apologies Mr speaker, half of members in this house are not s**....
Speaker: Thank you, lets move on.
A retired banker went to a psychiatrist.
He said "For 30 years, I worked in a bank as a teller. Every day i would serve dozens of customers. I loved my job and never missed a day.
Last month, i retired.
Since then, every time i pass a bank, i have a huge craving to enter and take out money.
Even if i pass an ATM, i have to stop and take some cash out. I've got thousands of dollars in cash at home, yet every day i feel desperate to go to the bank and take out more.
What's wrong with me?"
The psychiatrist replied
"It sounds like you're having Withdrawal Symptoms."
John Cleese Joke ..
The U.S. Postal service created a series of commemorative stamps commemorating lawyers, but they had to withdraw them within a couple of weeks because people couldn't figure out which side of the stamp to spit on.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you suffer from an addiction to water?
Can you not live without your water?
Do you try to quit, and come back to drinking water again?
Do you suffer from any of the following withdrawal symptoms when trying to quit?
* Headache?
* Fatigue?
* Dry t**...?
* Dry mouth?
* Darker u**...?
* Craving more water?
* Hunger?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, please call the water addiction hotline, 1-5-STOP-WATER.
