Wishing Well Jokes

A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano.
"Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!" Says the man.
"Oh, well there's this genie round the back of bar, and he grants you whatever wish you want."
Sure enough, the man goes round the back of the bar and there sits a genie.
"You grant wishes right?"
"Yes." replies the genie.
"Hmm, I'd like a million bucks."
Then, out of nowhere, a million ducks appear, and waddle behind the annoyed man as he goes back into the bar.
"Look, that genie gave me ducks instead of bucks!"
His friends sitting at the table replies,
"Well yeah, do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"

A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room.

In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry.
"I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!"
With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise.
The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish.
Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need."
With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone.
The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts."
With a puff of smoke, she too was gone.
"Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady.
The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."

Magic slide

Three friends - two men and a blonde woman - are exploring the African wilderness.
They come across a mystical looking place with a really long slide. The slide has a sign next to it that reads, "Welcome travellers to the slide of dreams. Take a ride! As you get to the bottom of the slide shout out what you wish to slide into."
So the first man goes and as he gets to the bottom shouts "marshmellows!", and he lands into a huge bed of marsh mellows.
The second man hears his friend's glee and decides to give it a go. As he gets to the bottom he shouts "cash!", and he lands into a huge bed of $100 dollar notes.
The blonde sees everyone seems to be having heaps of fun decides to give it a go as well. As she gets to the bottom she gets incredibly excited and shouts "weeeeeeeee!"

A brunette, redhead, and blonde are all trapped on a deserted island.

They come across a lamp half buried in the sand, brush it off, and upon rubbing it, a genie comes out.
"I will grant you each one wish," exclaims the genie.
The brunette steps up, "I wish to be back home with my family."
"Very well," says the genie. He snaps his fingers and the brunette disappears.
The redhead agrees, "I, too, wish to be back home with my family."
The genie nods, and snaps his fingers.
This leaves the blonde.
The genie turns to her and waits.
The blonde cries, "Well I'm all alone now.. I wish for my friends back!"

A man walks into a bar..

..and sits down. A little man about the size of a foot was sitting on his shoulders. The little man walks off and heads towards the bars piano and begins to play. The bartender asks where the patron got the little man. The patron replies, "There is an old wizard out back granting everyone wishes." The bartender rushes out to ask the old genie for a wish. The bartender comes back with a burned hand and says "Hey, i thought you said he could grant wishes? I asked for a red hot wife and he handed me a red hot knife!" The patron chuckles and said "I forgot to tell ya he can't here very well, that is why I now got a twelve inch pianist."

An old woman in Texas is celebrating her one hundredth birthday.

The local news comes to her birthday party to congratulate her on achieving such an advanced age. They find her in good health and good spirits on her special day. They ask her what her secret to longevity is. She answers immediately and confidently that her method is to eat a tablespoon of gunpowder with breakfast every morning. Her family confirms that this has been her religiously observed habit for decades.
Well a few years later her time comes and she passes away. According to her will she wished to be cremated. She left her house to her church, her money to her family, and a hundred foot crater where the crematorium used to be.

A man with a giant pumpkin for a head walks up to his friend...

The friend says, My God! What happened to your head!?
Well, says the man, I found a genie in lamp who granted me three wishes.
What did you wish for? says the friend.
For the first one I wished for a hundred million dollars, and I got it!
And the second?
For the second wish I asked for the most beautiful woman in the world, says the man, and I got her too.
The third wish?
The third wish is where I really messed up... says the man.
What went wrong?! says the friend.
Well, says the man, I wished for a giant pumpkin head!