Wise Man Say Jokes
25 wise man say jokes and hilarious wise man say puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wise man say that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Wise Man Say Short Jokes
Short wise man say jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wise man say humour may include short wise man once said jokes also.
- A wise saying Build a fire for a man, and he will be warm for a day.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his liffe. - A man asked a wise Guru: "What is the secret to eternal happiness?" The wise Guru answered: "To not argue with fools."
The man says: "I disagree."
The wise Guru replied: "Yes, you are right." - Belated holiday joke Q: What did the 3 Wise Men say to the crazy man?
A: "You make no Frankincense!!" - When is the only time a woman says something smart? When her sentence starts with "A wise man once said"
- How do you tell if a homeless man has a girlfriend? It's easy, he's got 2 clean fingers.
You can say mechanic, plumber, welder etc. This joke has versatility, use it wisely. - Wise Chinese saying A wise Chinese man once said: "If the dog is still barking, it is under cooked."
- A wise man told me that the mobile network carrier you choose says a lot about your life No wonder I use v**... Mobile.
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Wise Man Say One Liners
Which wise man say one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wise man say? I can suggest the ones about wise man and a wise man once said.
- What did the wise man say to the fat guy? You should probably go on a diet.
- What did the wise man say to the science class? Many photons make light work.
- Wise man say... Man who passes gas in church sits in own pew.
- The wise man say That violence is not the answer, when mosquito lands on t**....
Witty Wise Man Say Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about wise man say you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wisdom man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wise man say pranks.
In a theater
A man is stretched out on his back across four seats in a theater. The usher comes down and says, Mister, you will have to get out of those four seats. You are only entitled to one.
The man only grunts and does not move. The manager comes down and says to the man, Mister, you will have to get up. All you are entitled to is one seat. The man grunts and does not move.
Finally a policeman is called in. He walks down the aisle and says to the man who is still on the four seats, Get out of those seats!
The man grunts, and policeman says, Okay, wise guy, where are you from? The man moans and says, The balcony.
A boy looks longingly to the distant islands
He wants to run away to the islands but the only problem is he's got no money. He walks over to his wise old neighbor and asks him for advice on how to get to there.
The old man says, well these woods here have magical pixies that have a special dust. If you get their dust you could just fly there! The only problem is they don't just give it out for free. You're gonna want to sneak up on 'em.
The boy nods his head in disbelief.
The old man says, So, I guess your options are you hire a boat, or catch a fairy!
An angel appears to a man in a dream...
The angel offers him a choice - He can have the Wisdom of Solomon, or $50,000,000. Believing that this was a test from God, the man choses Wisdom.
The next morning, the man is having breakfast with his friends and he recants the story to them. When he's finished, one friend says, If you're so wise now, then tell us some words of wisdom.
The man says, I should have taken the money.
A wise man is walking through a market with a bag of gold.
As he passes the various sellers, a merchant quickly lights some incense and a beautiful aroma fills the air. It's frankincense, the merchant says. The best in the land.
The wise man gets some and is about to leave when the merchant calls out, But wait ... there's myrrh!
So 3 wise men go to see baby Jesus
and the first wise man shows up and gives baby Jesus some Gold.
The second wise man shows up and gives him some Frakensense.
The third wise man shows up and says "But wait, theres myrrh!"
An old man walks into a dollar store.
He walks up to the cashier empty handed.
"Aren't you going to buy anything?" asks the cashier?
"No, I'm only here to preach the need for change," says the old man smugly.
Exasperated, the cashier asks, "what are you, a wise guy?"
The old man responds, "no, I'm a pundit"."
Wise Italian Grandfather
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "g**..., I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Time's up!' "?
An alcoholic man is walking along the beach...
until he stumbles across a lamp. He decided to pick it up and give it a rub, just to see if anything would happen. All of a sudden, a magic genie pops out and tells the man he has three wishes. The man thinks for a moment and then tells the genie that he would like a bottle of whiskey. The genie extends his arms and p**..., the bottle of whiskey appears in the man's hands. The man takes a few sips, and then has an idea. He tells the genie that he wishes that his bottle of whiskey would never run out, and every time he got to the end the bottle would refill itself. The genie extends his arms again, and p**... the bottle became magic. The genie reminds the man that he only has one more wish, and he should use it wisely. So the man takes a few more sips from his bottle, and then looks up to the genie and says "I'll take another."
Variations of a nail joke. (Heard at a Ren Faire, modified)
The Goldman Nails company is trying to bolster business. They start a contest to create an advertisement for the business. The first submission is from an older lady.
It starts with a man with a beard in a white robe hammering away at wood. The shot pulls back to reveal an massive wooden ship and the figure turns and says "I'm Noah and I use Goldman Nails."
The second submission is from an elderly gentleman. It opens with a king sitting surrounded by men working on a great temple. The king says "I am king Solomon and all of my men wisely use Goldman Nails."
The last submission was by little Johnny. It opens on a desert. A man runs across the screen. He has a crown of thorns on this head and blood is coming out of his side. It is clearly Jesus. He runs off and two Roman Centurions run into focus. They look at each other; winded, one says to the other "We should have used Goldman's nails"
A black man gets lost on an indian reservation
So he stops at an old general store for directions. Upon pulling up to the store he is met by an old, wise Najavo man sitting in a rocking chair on the porch. He approaches the man and asks "excuse me, but how do I get back onto the interstate?"
The old sage thinks for a moment, and in traditional Najavo style he points with his lips instead of his hands. "Go down that road, take a left, past the barn. Ya can't miss it"
The black man smiles and decides to play along. "I get it. Down that road, left, past the barn", he says proudly, pointing with his lips.
"No", replies the indian. "Not that far".