Wise Guy Jokes
18 wise guy jokes and hilarious wise guy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wise guy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Wise Guy Short Jokes
Short wise guy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wise guy humour may include short wise man jokes also.
- What's the difference in an Italian Nativity An Italian nativity has Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, and a couple of wise guys
- A wise chinese guy once said to me "if the dog barks, it's undercooked"
- Some wise chinese guy - "Who's this wise guy?" "That's the Dalai Lama, he's kind of the spiritual leader of the Buddhist people."
"Well no wonder they chose him, he's got great advice!" - I heard Jesus was a gangster... he had a few wise guys looking out for him that's for sure.
- What's the difference between a wise guy and a b**... sniffer? One's a smart fella, the other is a f**... smella.
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Wise Guy One Liners
Which wise guy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wise guy? I can suggest the ones about rich guy and nice guy.
- A wise chinese guy once said: If a dog barks- It's undercooked.
- I would like to know which wise guy moderator took down my post My fence fell over
- If an Italian mobster is a wise guy, what's a Jewish mobster? A Weissguy.
- What did the wise man say to the fat guy? You should probably go on a diet.
Playful Wise Guy Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about wise guy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wise man say jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wise guy pranks.
In school, the teacher warns her students...
..."I will not tolerate any excuses for any kind. I might consider a nuclear attack, serious injury or even the death of a relative, but whoever misses this exam will fail the class."
The class's wise-guy says:
"But teacher, what if tomorrow I arrive to class completely exhausted from last night's amazing s**...?"
The teacher says:
"Well I guess you'll have to do the exam with your left hand, then."
So this guy had found a magic lamp, which had a genie in it. After a while...
**Genie:** So master, you have one wish left, think wisely.
**Guy:** Hmmm, I wish there was a railroad that connect New York City to Moscow.
**Genie:** That... is quite a big wish you got there. Do you have anything more reasonable?
**Guy:** In that case, I wish I was able to understand women.
**Genie:** Did you want your railroad to be single or double track?
In a theater
A man is stretched out on his back across four seats in a theater. The usher comes down and says, Mister, you will have to get out of those four seats. You are only entitled to one.
The man only grunts and does not move. The manager comes down and says to the man, Mister, you will have to get up. All you are entitled to is one seat. The man grunts and does not move.
Finally a policeman is called in. He walks down the aisle and says to the man who is still on the four seats, Get out of those seats!
The man grunts, and policeman says, Okay, wise guy, where are you from? The man moans and says, The balcony.
An old man walks into a dollar store.
He walks up to the cashier empty handed.
"Aren't you going to buy anything?" asks the cashier?
"No, I'm only here to preach the need for change," says the old man smugly.
Exasperated, the cashier asks, "what are you, a wise guy?"
The old man responds, "no, I'm a pundit"."
A university professor was preparing...
A university professor was preparing her students for the next day's final:
Other than a life-or-death emergency involving you or your family, you must be here tomorrow at taking this test. Your grade depends on it. No excuses!
One wise guy in the back asked, But what if I'm suffering from severe s**... exhaustion?
After the laughter died down, the professor looked at him and said, In that case, you'll just have to take the test with your other hand.