Wisdom Man Jokes
25 wisdom man jokes and hilarious wisdom man puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wisdom man that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Wisdom Man Short Jokes
Short wisdom man jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wisdom man humour may include short wisdom jokes also.
- True wisdom is found in those who are curious. Because a man who asks many questions... Is a whys man.
- Speaking words of wisdom Build a man a fire and keep him warm for the night.
Set a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life. - Fatherly Wisdom Son: Dad, I've heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.
Father: Son, that's true everywhere. - A WOMAN'S PRAYER: I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.
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Wisdom Man One Liners
Which wisdom man one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wisdom man? I can suggest the ones about wise man and wise man say.
- Words of wisdom A wise man once said "I give you the gift of frankincense."
Wisdom Man Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about wisdom man you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wise man once said jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wisdom man pranks.
An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"
"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff.
The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
Tribal Wisdom
So a cowboy is riding along a trail in the old west and sees an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself "Wagon...two gray horses...two passengers, man and woman...man driving" The cowboy goes "Wow! you can tell all that by just putting your ear to the ground?" The Indian replies "No. Wagon pass half hour ago, run me over."
An angel appears and says, "I'll grant you whichever of three blessings you choose. Wisdom, beauty, or ten million dollars."
Immediately, the man chooses wisdom. There is a flash of lightning, he is transformed, but then he just sits there, staring down at the table.
One of his colleagues whispers, "You have great wisdom. Say something!"
The man says, "I should have taken the money."
The Wisdom of an Older Man
An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.
''Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?''
The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, ''Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?''
''I have no idea, but every time I talk to a pretty woman, she seems to appear out of nowhere.''
What to pick
An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"
"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
With age comes wisdom
An old man was fishing at the riverbank. Along came a frog who said, "If you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful woman and grant you any s**... favor you desire!"
The old man thought about it and put the frog in his coat pocket.
"Aren't you going to kiss me?" said the frog.
"I'm 75, I'd rather have a talking frog!"
What is the Roman Empire?
In the heart of the bustling Roman Empire, there was a philosopher known for his wisdom, humor, and the ability to make light of the most complex issues. One day, a curious citizen confronted him, asking "What exactly is the Roman Empire?"
The philosopher paused for a moment before saying, "Imagine a man trying to wrestle a lion. The man is strong and well-prepared, but he is, after all, merely a man. The lion is wild, ferocious, and barely within his control. Yet, the man does not back down; he dives headfirst into the tangle, figuring out how to tackle it as he goes along. That, my friend, is the Roman Empire."
The citizen blinked and asked, "So, we're the man in this scenario, right? Struggling against the fierce lion that is the vast world?"
"No, not exactly," chuckled the philosopher. "You see, the man is the Roman Empire, always seeking to overcome, control, and rule, even when the odds seem overwhelming. The lion, rather, represents the infinite sea of cultures, lands, and people that the Empire constantly tangles with."
"But what if the lion eventually wins?" queried the citizen, now intrigued.
"Well," the philosopher answered with a mischievous glint in his eye, "Then the joke's on us, isn't it?"
The gathered crowd erupted into laughter, appreciating the wit and wisdom tied into the punchline. After all, understanding the Roman Empire didn't just involve historical facts and figures; sometimes, it was just about appreciating the irony!
An angel appears to a man in a dream...
The angel offers him a choice - He can have the Wisdom of Solomon, or $50,000,000. Believing that this was a test from God, the man choses Wisdom.
The next morning, the man is having breakfast with his friends and he recants the story to them. When he's finished, one friend says, If you're so wise now, then tell us some words of wisdom.
The man says, I should have taken the money.
A Priest congratulates the elderly married couple for 60 yrs of marriage...
"So, how'd you do it?" the Priest asks the elderly man. "Any wisdom you give might help some of our younger parishioners who are just recently married."
The man pauses and thinks for a minute. He answers matter-of-factly, "Going out to dinner twice a week saved our marriage."
The priest nodded and then raised an eyebrow. "Twice a week? That's got to be pretty expensive!"
"Not at all," said the old man. "She goes out on Thursdays, and I go out on Sundays."
A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man
A Philosopher, a Physicist and a Common Man stand around a piece of fruit.
When asked what the fruit is, the philosopher says We can never know what this piece of fruit truly is. We assume, through wisdom, that the form of the fruit is closest to our perceptions of the fruit .
The physicist states: Truly there is no fruit. The fruit is simply the interaction of fundamental forces and unseeable particles colliding through time until the fruit is formed .
The Common Man replies: It's an apple.
A guy rescued a genie.
To return the favor, the genie offered him a wish: he could have unlimited money, or unlimited wisdom. The man chose the latter. A few days passed by, his friend came to visit him, finding him crying very fiercely and screaming the sentence: "I should have chosen the money."
A man is at the u**... when the Dalai Lama walks in and stands next to him.
The man is shocked. He then proceeds to ask, "Oh Your Holiness, may I ask of your wisdom?", the Dalai Lama replies, "Yes my son, you need to look down."
Taken aback, the man asks, "So you mean I need to look deep down into my being?", the Dalai Lama replies, "No my son, you need to look down because you're p**... on your shoes."
A man finds a magic lamp in the desert
He rubs the lamp and a genie pops out!
The genie says that he will grant the man only one wish, and that he has to pick from three choices. He can either be the richest man in the world, the most popular man in the world, or the wisest man in the world. The man says "We all know that money does not bring happiness, and that popularity just makes you a s**... to the whims of others, but wisdom is everlasting. I want to be the wisest man in the world."
The Genie goes "p**..." and suddenly the man's face assumes a serene expression. He sits down, rubbing his chin in thought. Then he looks towards the genie and says, "I should have taken the money".
At a bus stop, a girl spotted a handsome man and she told him "I Love You"
The man placed his hand on her head and said, "This love and infatuation are nothing,
go back to your home and study hard so that you may lead a successful life".
He then placed a piece of paper in her hand and said, "I have written some words of wisdom for you. Read it before you sleep tonight" and he looked away.
The girl went back home with tears in her eyes and before sleeping that night, she opened and read the paper.
"Are you blind? My wife was standing behind me. Anyway, this is my number, call me anytime. By the way, I love you too!"
Two guys in their mid-twenties are sitting at a bar having a beer. One of the guys says to his buddy, Man, you really look tired..
His buddy says, Dude, I'm exhausted. My girlfriend wants s**... all the time, three, four, even six times a night, every night. She wakes me up at all hours. I just don't know what to do.
A fellow about 65, sitting a couple of stools down overheard the conversation.
He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says... Marry her. That'll put a stop to that nonsense.
So a Student walks into a cafeteria where the professors eat...
He goes and sits at their table with them and begins eating his lunch. One professor is not amused and asks the young man: "have you ever seen birds feast alongside cows?"
The student says: "Oh I understand, I guess I should fly away now"
The professor gets angry and decides to plot a plan to fail him on the next exam. So after the exam the professor asks: "I shall ask you a question, and if your answer is reasonable I will award you a high grade, if not, you shall not pass(hehe)"
The student agrees and so the professor asks: "If you had to choose only one between the following, which would you choose? great Wealth or great Knowledge and wisdom?"
The student responds: "Great wealth"
The professor says: "well I would have chosen great Knowledge and wisdom!"
The student then says: "of course, we have both chosen the one thing we lack most"
A priest visits a man on his deathbed...
When the priest walks over to the hospital bed, the man's condition worsens rapidly. He tries to speak, but can only produce a faint wheeze. Realising that the man is trying to utter his final words, the priest reaches for a pen and paper and gives it to him. As the man slowly hands the note back to the priest, he passes away. Rather than read the note there, the priest tucks it away in his pocket.
Several days later, while the priest is delivering the eulogy at the man's f**..., he realises that the note is still tucked away in his pocket.
"...Just before he passed, Fred handed me a note that I'd like to read to all of you here today. Knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of wisdom to be found by us all."
The priest unfolds the note and reads aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
Wisdom of a drunk
A woman in her mid-thirties went to a local grocery store late at night to buy a few necessities. As she was in line at the register, an extremely intoxicated man got in line behind her holding some liquor.The woman ignored him and the waft of alcohol, but couldn't help notice he was looking her over.
Finally the woman turned and asked what was wrong. The intoxicated man looked at her, at the items she was buying, at her again, then said, "Lady, I bet you're single."
The woman was taken aback. She WAS single, but looking at the apples and milk she was buying, and her modest but clean and fashionable attire, she had no idea what gave the drunk man that idea.
"Why yes, I am single. How did you know?"
"Cuz yer ugly."
An elderly Italian man went to his parish priest
and asked if the priest would hear his confession.
"Of course, my son," said the priest.
"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."
"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.
"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her s**... favors," continued the old man.
"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.
"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"
"Of course, my son," said the priest.
The old man asked, "Do you think I should tell her that the war is over?"
The Geography of a man and women
THE GEOGRAPHY OF WOMAN AND MEN
The Geography of a Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet .
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.
An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran ,
ruled by a pair of nuts.
THE END.