Wire Jokes
132 wire jokes and hilarious wire puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wire that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some wire humor? Check out this article on Wire Jokes! Learn funny jokes related to different types of wire such as Nairobi Wire, Barbed Wire, Zip Wire, Electrical Wire, and Chicken Wire. Get ready to laugh out loud with our collection of fun electrical one-liners, puns, and jokes about cutters and ohms.
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Funniest Wire Short Jokes
Short wire jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wire humour may include short cord jokes also.
- An electrician comes home late.... Wife: "Wire you insulate?"
electrician: "Watts it to you? I'm ohm, aren't I." - Dear Brits: We have received your ultimatum and have scrounged for the ransom... ...but we could only come up with half.
Feel free to him back halfway and we'll wire the funds. Thanks, the US - What do a G-string and a barbed wire fence have in common? They both run along the property line without distracting from the view.
- I like my women how I like my light bulbs... Not too bright, easy to turn on and hanging from electrical wire in my basement.
- My son was chewing electrical wires everyday. So I grounded him until he conducts himself properly.
- What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.
^(I'll show myself out) - What do G-Strings and barbed wire have in common? They both protect the property without disrupting the view.
- An electrician was shocked by a live wire when he was asked why... He said he couldn't resist.
- One time my uncle challenged me that I cant do a simple electrical wiring. He got shocked after I completed the work.
- Did you hear about the cow who tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.
Share These Wire Jokes With Friends
Wire One Liners
Which wire one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wire? I can suggest the ones about cable and relay.
- My 8 year-old kept chewing electrical wires… …so I had to ground him.
- what happened to the cow when it jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction!
- Why are wires addicted to electricity? They can't resist.
- What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? An udder disaster.
- How did copper wire get invented 2 Jews fighting over a penny
- How do you induce a current in a wire by counting to 10? By mathematical induction.
- Mom never told me I shouldn't touch electric wires Imagine my shock when I got grounded!
- What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence ? Utter destruction...
- Do you know how copper wire was invented? Two Scots fought over the same penny.
- How was copper wire created? Two Jews found the same penny.
- What's grey, has spikes, and runs around a field? Barbed wire.
- When I found out it's a bad idea to do your own electrical wiring, I was shocked
- Exposed Wires What you see will shock you!
- How was copper wire invented? Two lawyers fighting over a penny.
;-) - I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend and re-wire the toaster. She was shocked.
Copper Wire Jokes
Here is a list of funny copper wire jokes and even better copper wire puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It was so hot in Dallas today... I saw a crackhead put copper wire back into an air conditioner.
- Did you hear about the guy with copper wire? Apparently he got arrested for misconduct.
- How was copper wire invented? Someone threw a penny between two jews
- Why do Dutch people have big noses? Because air is free.
### Bonus joke:
* How was copper wire invented?
Two Dutchmen found a penny at the same time. - How was copper wire invented? A Dutchman and a Scotsman fighting over a penny.
- How was the first copper wire made? Someone threw a penny inbetween two Jew's
- How was copper wire invented? Two jews picked up the same penny simultaneously
- How do you make copper wire? Place a penny between two Jews.
- How do you make copper wire? You throw a penny between two Scots
Gimme that
Nae, it's mine - How was electrical copper wire invented? 2 jews were fighting over 1 cent.
Barbed Wire Jokes
Here is a list of funny barbed wire jokes and even better barbed wire puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you get when you breed a snake with a hedgehog? Barbed wire
- So I was outside on the farm yesterday when this cow comes charging at me and attempts to jump over the barbed wire fence... It was an udder disaster.
- So one of my cows decided to try they old jump over a barb wire fence trick... it was utter destruction.
- Did u hear about the cow that jumped over a barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction
- Once I saw a cow jump over a barbed wire fence Twas an utter catastrophe
- I just finished baby-proofing my condo. I seriously doubt any of them are making it past the barbed wire and claymores.
- Did you hear about the cow that jumped over the barbed wired fence? It was udder catastrophe!
- What happens when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction
- What do you call a hybrid between a snake and a headgehog? Barbed wire.
- What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Udder Destruction.
I swear this joke is funnier in person.
Try it, trust me.
p**... dropper for sure.
Electrical Wire Jokes
Here is a list of funny electrical wire jokes and even better electrical wire puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I caught my son chewing an electric wire. He is grounded now.
- I know a guy who owns an electrics and wiring company. He swears by employing only Germans and sending about a dozen of them to each contract.... He reckons that many Hans make lights work.
- How does a Buddhist monk do electrical work? He grabs a wire and measures its ohms.
- Why do they make different kind of piping for electrical wiring? Because regular Pipe Conduit
- What do Switzerland & a white electrical wire have in common? They're neutral
- Did you hear? Rob Schneider is starting his own DIY electrical wiring protection company? It's called **You Conduit!**
Wire And Cable Jokes
Here is a list of funny wire and cable jokes and even better wire and cable puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the cable say when he was bullied by another cable? "Wire you so mean!"
- Just spent the last hour watching a program about a cross-dressing high-wire daredevil... I love watching cable T.V.
- I saw Don Draper driving a toupee across a high-wire. Another character driven piece on cable.
Uproarious Wire Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about wire you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wave jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wire pranks.
Wireless Internet is like s**...
You still want it, even if it's unprotected and in a public place.
In the past
Russian scientists dug 1000 mtr deep and found a copper wire.
They concluded:
1000 yrs back our ancestors were using copper cable technology ..
American scientists dug 2000 mtr deep and found optic fibre.
They concluded:
2000 yrs back our ancestors were using optic fibre technolgy ..
Indian scientist dug and found nothing. They concluded our ancestors were using Wireless Technology.!
Overheard this at Grand Canyon.
"Why do they put chicken wire around these plants? Other guy:" To protect the chicken plants"
Why did the internet pirate get scurvy?
He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore.
Two Frenchmen attempt to escape a POW camp...
The pair break out of their cells and manage to reach the wire fence in the dead of night. As Pierre scales the fence he stumbles, alerting a nearby guard, who calls out "Who's there?!"
"Meow!" Pierre shouts back, and he manages to creep away.
Now Francois climbs the fence and he stumbles and the guard again called, 'Who goes there?'
"Another cat!"
Two wires at sea
Two wires were on an ocean cruise when the ship sprung a leak and sank. The solid core wire managed to climb into a lifeboat and head to safety.
The other was stranded.
An Irish, a Scot and an English man are digging.....
in their back gardens. 12 feet down the English man finds copper wire. In the local paper he announces England had internet 200 years ago.
The Scots mon finds wire at 16 feet and announces Scotland had internet 300 years ago.
The Irish man digs 22 feet! but finds nothing and states in the paper. 400 years ago Ireland had wireless.
Did you hear about the electrician who bought a Camaro using money he got from scrap wire?
He really crimped and saved
Just as my teachers said, math has proven useful in my everyday life.
For example, yesterday I dropped my keys into a toilet and made an integral out of wire.
An electrician comes home at 2 am....
His wife asks, "wire you insulate?"
He replies, "watt's the problem, I'm ohm aren't I?"
What is Tim Cook's least favorite HBO series?
The Wire
Steven Seagal calls to Putin
- Vladymir . I love your country. Somebody just wire by mistake 73 $ on my account in Sbierbank.
- This is not a mistake Steven. This is your annual salary here.
It's black and hangs on a wire?
A bad electrician!
If I locked my keys in my car outside of a abortion clinic...
Would it be awkward to go inside and ask for a wire hanger?
Look at this wire! Is has so obviously been tapped!
Sorry Mr President, we call that a landline sir.
I s**... wire for a living
It's not a glamorous job, but at least I can make ends meet
An electrician's son removed one wire from each of his father's power plugs.
His father asks him furiously: Why did you do that? What's wrong with you?
Son: Nothing, dad. It's just a phase.
Father: You're grounded.
I'm not sure if Sean Connery liked the wire fence I made for him.
All he said was "What a mesh!"
My dad told me this is why different branches of the military have so much trouble communicating.
They all have different vocabulary. For instance; "Secure that building."
Tell a marine that and he'll go kill everyone inside.
Tell a soldier and he'll put up razor wire, sandbags, and machine gun nests.
Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors.
Tell an airman and he will take out a lease with an option to buy.
Buzzfeed's latest article: "This man poked a wire in a power outlet and turned on the switch..."
"What happens next will shock you!"
Did you hear about the electrician whose boss told him to put new wire throughout the whole house?
He refused.
My electricity bill was running suspiciously high
Had the power company send someone over. He found a wire tapped into my house running to a neighbor's. Watt do you know, a Joule thief lives next to my Ohm.
A Mexican electrician accidentally touched a live wire.
He suffered a Corona discharge.
A farmer's wire fence was broken, so he put new wood into the ground and ran wire across it.
This is a repost.
Did you hear about the first electrician to put a light in an outhouse for an Indian?
He was the first to wire ahead for a reservation.
To decide the best tv show ever, I started comparing Game of Thrones & Breaking Bad for two hours
Finally it came down to The Wire
There are so many scams on the internet lately...
If you wire 400$ into my account, I can teach you how to avoid them.
What's thin and wiry?
A Wire.
Did you hear about the BuzzFeed employee who peed on an exposed wire?
Number 1 shocked him.
I have some wire frames and a curved lens.
Is that anything to make a spectacle of?
A man touched a bare wire to see what would happen. What happened next shocked him.
He remained unharmed.
I walked into a shop. "I need a fence to stop people trespassing my land."
He said, "Wire fence?"
I said, "I just told you the reason."
I saw a telephone wire starting to fall on someones car the other day on my way home from work but I don't think they noticed
They would be in for a shock
Dogs are great at sniffing out bombs but terrible at defusing them.
They always end up cutting the grey wire.
Murphy's Car Is Stolen
Murphy's wife borrowed his car and parked in the supermarket car park. Just as she came out laden with shopping, she saw a young lad break into the car, hot wire it and drive off. Naturally she reported the matter to the police.' What did he look like?, the sergeant asked. 'I don't know she replied, but I got the licence plate'.
What happened to the naughty wire?
It was grounded...
Putting the new dry cleaner shop next to the Planned Parenthood was probably a bad idea.
All those discarded wire hangers in the dumpster aren't helping the cause.
What's a wired favorite dance?
The tangle.
I fell in love with a female electrician
She was a real live wire and i took her ohm with me
What did Denzel say to the thick wire entering his house's circuit breakers box ?
Mah main...!!
Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar.
Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Dave says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
Two electricians are standing on a ladder leaned against a utility pole...
...when an elderly lady was passing below them. One of the electricians calls her.
\- Excuse me, ma'm! Could you pass us that wire, so we don't have to climb down?
\- This one, young man?
\- Yes, that one! Thank you so much, ma'm, you're very kind!
\- No problem, dear!
After the lady passed him the wire, and left, the electrician tells his mate:
\- See, Fred? I told you this was the neutral wire, but no, you had to insist that it was the phase line!
What do you call a piece of charcoal at the end of a wire?
An amateur electrician
Someone renovated the church with wire mesh floors.
Well, I guess it *is* holey ground....
A buddy of mine asked me to borrow my DVD box set of one of HBO's best shows...
...he came over and The Wire transfer was successful.
The court jester decided to play a prank
So he got a bucket of coal dust from the blacksmith and rigged it over a doorway.
Soon enough Sir Lancelot walks up in his shiniest silver armor. He'd spent the entire morning polishing it to a mirror finish. As soon as he walks through the doorway, a trip wire dumps the bucket of coal dust over him turning his polished armor a dingy black. Needless to say he was storming mad, covered in filthy black dust.
It was a dark and stormy knight.
I don't understand why the police train up bomb dogs to work at the airport
They're all colourblind and always cut the wrong wire
What did the white wire say to the black wire?
You're hot!
