The Best 23 Winston Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Winston jokes. There are some winston dolph jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these winston winston churchill puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Winston Jokes and Puns

Can you call the British PM a fool?

During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.

The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?

Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".

Winston Churchill was dining in fine company, and when asked what piece of chicken he wanted, he requested a breast. A lady upbraided him, saying, "Mr. Churchill, in polite society we ask for white meat or dark."

The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."

Winston goes to church

Winston goes to church and the vicar says "What's wrong my son?"
Winston says "I want you to pray for my hearing".
The vicar puts his hands on Winston's ears and prays hard for ten minutes.
"So how is your hearing?" asks the vicar.
"I don't know", says Winston, "it isn't until next Wednesday".

Winston joke, Winston goes to church

Not to insult any history purists but...

Why did Winston Churchill trade his manual for an automatic?

He hated stall'in.

Original & Classic Winston Churchill (not my retort)

Lady Astor said to Churchill, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea," to which he responded, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"


"As long as you append my name to a quote,...

people would buy into it and take it seriously."

- Winston Churchill

What would Winston Churchhill be doing if he were alive today?

Clawing and screaming in his coffin:)

Winston joke, What would Winston Churchhill be doing if he were alive today?

A woman says to Winston Churchill...

"If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!" Churchill replied "If you were my wife, I would drink it."

Winston Churchill said, "History will be kind me, for I intend to write it."

Nowadays, history will be kind to me because I intend to delete it.

"Never, never, never give up."

Thanks Winston Churchill. I now have 8 counts of rape and battery.

Jameis Winston and the Ducks

When Florida State got down early, my brother, who was rooting for FSU, said Jameis Winston had the Ducks right where he wanted them.

Considering the Ducks were sober and on top, I respectfully disagreed.

Side note:
I can't take credit for this. Was found on Deadspin.

You can explore winston franklin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean winston exorcist dad jokes. There are also winston puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What did Jameis Winston say to Big Ben?

"We're two P's in a Bod."

Did you hear Mei got caught doing an illegal activity with Winston?

They were pirating movies.

Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.

Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!

Winston and a Cat

What is the difference between J. Winston and a cat?

One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl.

TIL that Britain was merciless in World War 2

It seemed pretty obvious afterwards. After all, their leader was already Winston.

Winston joke, TIL that Britain was merciless in World War 2

Why don't fantasy football players use the Buccaneers QB?

Because I'm already Winston.

Funny quote

"Don't believe everything you see on the internet." - Winston Churchillο»Ώ

Why is Jameis Winston a better reciever than quarterback?

Because he always catches assault charges


If I Were Your Husband

"Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee."

"Nancy," replied Winston,

"If I were your husband, I'd drink that coffee."

The man chilled in front of a church smoking cigarettes, who was he?

Winston Churchill

NFL No More Spokesman - 1st Round Draft Pick, Winston!

So is Winston going to star in next year's NFL No More campaign? I hear he likes speaking out about sexual assault.

Nick Saban and Jameis Winston walk into a bar...

To watch the National Championship game.

After five minutes Winston is caught in the kitchen stuffing his shirt with crab legs.

Upon hearing of their potential ban from the bar, Saban hides out and waits until the middle of the night to sneak quietly to another bar in a different city.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the winston rodgers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working winston televangelist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes