Winning Team Jokes

53 winning team jokes and hilarious winning team puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about winning team that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Winning Team Short Jokes

Short winning team jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The winning team humour may include short winning jokes also.

  1. I heard the Toronto Maple Leafs now have the milk board as their sponsor. Now they only have to put in 2% of the effort.
  2. What does a Bears fan do when his team wins the Superbowl? He turns off his Xbox, and goes to bed.
  3. If you had to choose between your local wnba team winning the finals and receiving $5..... What would you spend your $5 on?
  4. Did you know that, during the first game of the 1936 baseball season, the Boston Braves managed to win while also badly injuring six players on the opposing team? They were truly ruthless.
  5. There's an international multi-event competition for military spouses, but the same team wins every year. The Swiss Army Wives.
  6. The German women's beach volleyball team plays against the Brazilian women's beach volleyball team. Who wins? The audience
  7. My brother plays soccer for a team called the Musketeers They've started the season well with three wins and a draw, all 4-1 and one 4 all.
  8. What does a Maple Leads fan do after his team wins the Stanley Cup? He turns off his Xbox and goes back to bed.
  9. How to get a position in the Trump Administration Trump: How much is 2 + 2?
    You: How much do you want it to be?
    Trump: That's the kind of winning attitude I demand, welcome to my team!
  10. Why doesn't the Mexican Olympic team win many medals? All their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers live in the United States.

Share These Winning Team Jokes With Friends

Winning Team One Liners

Which winning team one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with winning team? I can suggest the ones about contest winning and winning money.

  1. Why did the politically correct soccer team never win any matches? Because no offense.
  2. I told the winning team to stop being communist. It wasn't fair that they kept Stalin'
  3. How did Link win the basketball game for his team? He used the Hookshot!
  4. Croatian fans are... Russian all over to see their team win.
  5. Why did the lawyers' softball team always win? Because they were in a legal of their own.
  6. Would you rather have $5 dollars OR... Have your favorite WNBA team win the championship
  7. What do terrorists and the england football team have in common? They will never win
  8. I haven't seen a team blow a win this bad... Since h**... invaded Russia
  9. How did Team d**... win their first football game? They came from behind.

Winning Team Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about winning team you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean winning horse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make winning team pranks.

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football.
During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning.
But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game.
When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede,
“Where were you during the first half?”
He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.

A soccer team goes to a bar after a big win.

The keeper decides to hang out with his close friend, a defense player and his girlfriend. As it comes time to head home, the defender pulls the keeper aside and decides to compliment him on his play.
"You know, you're good as a keeper."
"Oh? What brought this about?"
"Well to start, you've been keeping me from scoring all night."

A Jew and a Lion fight in a furnace. Who wins?

The Jew because they have home team advantage.

So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!

Star football player Steve was about to be sacked for bad grades . . .

. . . but the team was on a winning streak, and he was badly needed. The head coach pleaded with the college president, and managed to convince him to allow the student to continue to play if he could spell just one word correctly. "Okay, Steve," the coach told him. "It's an easy one. Just spell the name of your favorite drink." "Sure coach. Khaphy."

Why did Toronto host the (hockey) World Junior Championships?

They wanted to see what a winning team looked like.

It's ironic that Russell Wilson and Ciara are dating win the Super Bowl, all his team needed was 1 or 2 steps

Who would win a football game between the 1989 Raiders and a team full of U2 lead singers?


So Italy just teamed up with Isis and their called.....

Italian dum tisssss g**... dun win

Handball :)

Germany is now the handball European champion.
But it seems it was the easiest win in Poland since 1939 for a german team.

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.

To win the Olympics, you must go big or go home.

By that logic, the r**... team never had a chance.

During the election, Bernie teamed with Hillary to try and win over the millennials

Funny, considering they're age combined is a millennial itself

What did Harry Potter do with the golden snitch to guarantee his team will win?

Hid it and Quidditch

The CIA, Mi6, and KGB all meet for a competition [LONG]

Dropped off on a deserted island each team is tasked with the same mission. Go into the jungle and catch a rabbit. Fastest time wins.
The CIA team goes first, within 5 minutes they come out with a rabbit squirming around in hand. As the the other teams seem mildly impressed.
Next, the Mi6 team goes in and within 3 minutes They come out not only with one but 3 rabbits.
Finally the KGB goes in and within 30 seconds you hear this massive scuffle making its way through the jungle guns pointed and yelling and they pull out a massive elephant. As the elephant desperately yells, "I'm a rabbit, I'm rabbit!!!".

Why is Donald Trump rooting for the Patriots to win Super Bowl LII?

Because they're the only championship team that might accept his invitation to the white house.

Why couldn't the all lesbian capture the flag team win any games?

The players never left no-man's-land.

My high school's football team literally never wins

I propose we name every hurricane Paschal High School so that they will never touch down

Do you know why an Asian teams can never win the soccer world cup?

...Every time a player gets a corner, he builds a shop

Reporter to Pelé: Do you think Brazil's team of 1970 would win against today's Argentina?

Pelé: yes.
Reporter: By how much?
Pelé: 1:0
Reporter: That's it?
Pelé: Yes, most of us are well over 75.

Did you hear the Avengers are starting a hockey team?

They're the favorite to win the Stan Lee Cup.

A team of black inmates play basketball against a team of white inmates in prison. The black inmates win. Why?

Home court advantage.

What do you call Christmas night when your favorite sports team finally wins?

The First No L

Did you hear about the all-feline team that competed in the Iditarod?

They didn't win the grand prize, but they did go home with a pile of cold, hard cats.

A minister and his friend in the congregation were fans of rival sports teams.

When they were due to play each other, the two made a gentleman's agreement not to pray for their team.
The minister's team ended up losing quite badly, and he decided to tease his friend about it from the pulpit on Sunday.
"My friends, you know that Doug and I back different teams. We said we wouldn't pray for our team to win, but obviously, Doug cheated," he grinned at his friend and the congregation chuckled.
"Preacher, I didn't do that," Doug shot back. "I just asked God to let the best team win!"