The Best 30 Winners Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Winners jokes. There are some winners participation jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these winners victory puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Winners Jokes and Puns

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

My wife likes to say marrying me was like winning the lottery...

I like to remind her that most lottery winners blow their winnings.

My father always taught me that in adultery there are no winners

but participation is more important than winning

Winners joke, My father always taught me that in adultery there are no winners

Money was a little tight, so I entered a pun writing contest...

I read the rules carefully, and it turns out that there was no limit on the amount of times you could enter, so I submitted ten separate entries.

I thought my chances were good, but I just looked at the contest winners to see if any of my entries won, and unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

I can successfully predict the winners of every divorce case. Here is the list:

The lawyers.

whenever i think about buying a lottery ticket

i think about my ex and remember i don't know how to pick winners.

Dad: Participation trophies are bad. It rewards people for losing and is unfair to the winners.

Me: *slowly takes down his confederate flag*

Winners joke, Dad:  Participation trophies are bad. It rewards people for losing and is unfair to the winners.

What's the difference between sports and politics?

In sports, it is the winners that march down the street (parade).

They say history is written by the winners...

But actually, history is written by historians and most of them are losers.

Nobel Prize winners are a lot like farmers

Oftentimes they are outstanding in their field.

Why do lottery winners always go bankrupt?

Because if they knew anything about managing money, they wouldn't be playing the lotto in the first place!

- Anthony Jeselneck

You can explore winners prize reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean winners tournament dad jokes. There are also winners puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why are all immigrants to Finland winners?

Because they all crossed the Finnish line.

I really hope there are no Golden Globe winners

working in the Flat Earth Society.

It's a mystery to me why men like trophy wives.

Their ears stick out and they have they've got the previous winners names tattooed down their backs.

What's the only place where quitters are winners?


My dad says there are no winners when you cheat on your spouse,

but participating is more important than winning.

Winners joke, My dad says there are no winners when you cheat on your spouse,

What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards?

Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents.


How did the Bread contest end? Stalemate.

What about the weed smoking contest? There were *joint* winners!

What about the competition to see who could locate Bangkok the quickest on a map? Was a Thai.

And that sketching contest? A draw.

Why does the Russian presidential election smell bad?

Cause the winners always pootin'


There are no winners or losers in Thailand...

just ties.

Thankfully in divorce court, there is always two winners!

The lawyers.

Dark jokes Saturday: What is the most offensive brand name you can come up with? Winners get gold!

My contribution:

"Auschwitz" air freshener.

We all know the phrase "Winners don't use drugs"

Which is true, unless of course, you're having a game of "first person to take drugs".

In adultery there are no winners

But taking part is more important than winning

The Bayeux Tapestry is not strictly accurate historically.

The whole story has been embroidered. Typically, by the winners. Some say it was a stitch-up!

There are no winners or losers in Fortnite.

Except the losers.

Winning the lottery

Wife: Do you think we'll win the lottery this week? Other people win it all the time, so why can't we?

Husband: Sure, we have as good a chance of winning as the winners do.

Why do they give the winners of the Tour de France a yellow jersey?

To remind them what colour their urine is meant to be.

My gay football team was full of winners. The other team might have beat us on the field...

but we beat them off.

What's the similarity between a Bridge tournament and a Miss Universe contest?

The winners of both get a lot of Trump hands.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the winners losers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working winners paralympic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes