Winking Jokes
26 winking jokes and hilarious winking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about winking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Winking Short Jokes
Short winking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The winking humour may include short winked jokes also.
- Jesus walks into a bar with his disciples... "Thirteen glasses of water, please!", Jesus said to the barman, winking at the others...
- About 4,000 years ago: God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God: Correction, I shall create a great flood! - I didn't sleep a wink last night because my neighbor was screaming her head off. I think she doesn't like my basement.
- When is the only time you're smiling and winking at your mother in law? When you're looking at her through a rifle scope.
- So, Jesus and the Apostles walk into a Bar... Jesus motions to the bartender, says "13 waters, please," and winks at the apostles.
- This girl winked at me and said she wanted to go somewhere quiet. So I took her to the library.
- Jesus Christ walks into bar Orders 12 glasses of water, looks at his disiples and gives them a wink.
- me trying to impress my crush me:
I heard you like bad guys only
.
.
.
well, I am bad....at everything.
*winks with both eyes* - "Hey man, the hot girl from class winked at me today!" "Really, bro?"
"Yeah, with both eyes too!" - Jesus walks into a bar with his deciples He walks up to the bartender and orders 13 waters and turns around and winks
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Winking One Liners
Which winking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with winking? I can suggest the ones about waving and flirting.
- A cute girl winked at me She must be extra interested because she winked with both eyes.
- Jesus walks into a bar 12 glasses of water please
*winks at his disciples* - When my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I winked. She bought me eye drops.
- Jesus walks into a bar. Jesus: 12 waters please! *winks at disciples.
- A girl winked at me.... With her both eyes
- Whst should a man call a wink from his wife ? Wife eye connection.
- My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is... ...they never wink back.
- How do government employees wink when they're at work? They briefly open one eye.
- How do you spell blinking with one I? Wink ;)
- Jesus walks into a bar "Just 12 waters please", while winking at his disciples.
- A hot girl just winked at me with both eyes Later virgins!
- What do you rate Megan Fox out of 10? Friend: 9
Me: 9? I'll give her one.. *wink* - Does Mike Wazowski blink or wink? He bwinks. The kids had it right all along!
- What do you call someone who thinks that the moon is winking at him? A lunatic
- The Forums wink face war ";)"
Cheerful Winking Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about winking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nodding jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make winking pranks.
A Winking Salesman!
A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.
"Looking at your resume, I can see that you're more than qualified", says the interviewer. "Unfortunately, we can't have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can't hire you", adds the interviewer.
"But wait", says the man. "If I take two aspirin, I stop winking".
"Then show me", replies the interviewer.
So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colours before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking.
"It's great. You stopped winking", says the interviewer, "but we can't have our salesmen womanizing all over the country".
"What do you mean?", asks the man. "I'm happily married".
"How do you explain all the condoms?" asks the interviewer.
"Oh, that", sighs the man. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"
probably won't get him laid
A guy walks into a bar and starts pretending to shoot arrows to a few girls. One of those girls smiles and gets closer to talk: "Hey, I saw that you threw me an arrow." she said while winking at him.
"Yes, I guess I did." came his reply.
"Who are you?", she asked. "Cupid throwing love arrows?"
"No, I'm Legolas killing orcs"
A narcissist walks into a bar...
A narcissist walks into a bar and orders a drink for the handsome gent winking at him from the opposite side of the room.
The bartender looks around.
"Sir, that's a mirror."
A man suffers from Blepharospasm (constant, uncontrollable winking) in one eye...
he complains to a friend that it gives him the most awful head aches. His friend asks, why don't you just get some aspirin from the pharmacy. He replies, I do, but every time I ask the pharmacist for an aspirin he gives me a packet of condoms.
I'm not usually one to brag about my chick-magnet prowess...
but that hot girl with the eye patch keeps winking at me.
I hate to do it but I've got to complain about the guy with the eye patch who sits opposite me at work
He keeps winking at me and it's just not appropriate.
A man walks into a hotel and spots an attractive p**.....
He says to her, "Hey.. You wanna get a room?" winking. She smiles and says yes. They get to the room and he asks how much for a h**.... She says $250, and he says, "That much for just a h**...?! Thats ridiculous!" She points outside to a Ferrari and says, "I bought that car with just the money I made from h**...." He says, "Wow.. I guess I'll take a h**... then." So she gives him a h**... and he says, "That's the best h**... I've ever had. How much for a bj?" She says $500. "$500?! That's insane." "See that hotel across the street? I purchased that with just the money I've gotten with bj's" He says, "Wow.. I'll take one." She gives him a bj, and it was the best bj he's ever gotten. He then asks, "How much to pound your p**...?" She says, "See that casino? That's what I would of bought with all of my money if I was a woman."
Lol, my mom told me that joke today.
