Wink Jokes
56 wink jokes and hilarious wink puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wink that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn how to use the power of wink-wink jokes and sheepishly smiling at the world. The article provides fantastic suggestions and helps you find the right twinkle in your eye.
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Funniest Wink Short Jokes
Short wink jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wink humour may include short wiggle jokes also.
- Jesus walks into a bar with his disciples... "Thirteen glasses of water, please!", Jesus said to the barman, winking at the others...
- About 4,000 years ago: God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God: Correction, I shall create a great flood! - I didn't sleep a wink last night because my neighbor was screaming her head off. I think she doesn't like my basement.
- When is the only time you're smiling and winking at your mother in law? When you're looking at her through a rifle scope.
- So, Jesus and the Apostles walk into a Bar... Jesus motions to the bartender, says "13 waters, please," and winks at the apostles.
- This girl winked at me and said she wanted to go somewhere quiet. So I took her to the library.
- Jesus Christ walks into bar Orders 12 glasses of water, looks at his disiples and gives them a wink.
- me trying to impress my crush me:
I heard you like bad guys only
.
.
.
well, I am bad....at everything.
*winks with both eyes* - "Hey man, the hot girl from class winked at me today!" "Really, bro?"
"Yeah, with both eyes too!" - Jesus walks into a bar with his deciples He walks up to the bartender and orders 13 waters and turns around and winks
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Wink One Liners
Which wink one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wink? I can suggest the ones about blink and smirked.
- A cute girl winked at me She must be extra interested because she winked with both eyes.
- Jesus walks into a bar 12 glasses of water please
*winks at his disciples* - When my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I winked. She bought me eye drops.
- Jesus walks into a bar. Jesus: 12 waters please! *winks at disciples.
- A girl winked at me.... With her both eyes
- Whst should a man call a wink from his wife ? Wife eye connection.
- My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is... ...they never wink back.
- How do government employees wink when they're at work? They briefly open one eye.
- How do you spell blinking with one I? Wink ;)
- Jesus walks into a bar "Just 12 waters please", while winking at his disciples.
- A hot girl just winked at me with both eyes Later virgins!
- What do you rate Megan Fox out of 10? Friend: 9
Me: 9? I'll give her one.. *wink* - Does Mike Wazowski blink or wink? He bwinks. The kids had it right all along!
- What do you call someone who thinks that the moon is winking at him? A lunatic
- The Forums wink face war ";)"
Wink Wink Jokes
Here is a list of funny wink wink jokes and even better wink wink puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Kool-Aid Man breaks through wall. "Oh ya!"
[breaks 2nd wall]
"Oh ya!"
[3rd wall]
"OHHH YEAAHH!"
[breaks 4th wall]
*Winks at camera* - I'm not usually one to brag about my chick-magnet prowess... but that hot girl with the eye patch keeps winking at me.
- Have you ever had that moment when a cute girl winks at you and then her boyfriend winks at you too? It's a wink wink situation
- I was walking around an art gallery with my wife. "Does anything in this room get you excited?" she said, with a cheeky wink.
I said, "Yes, some of the paintings." - A strange woman approached me in a shady bar. She winked, and said "For $50, darling, I'll do stuff for you your wife would never do."
I gave her $50, got her to do the ironing. - I hate to do it but I've got to complain about the guy with the eye patch who sits opposite me at work He keeps winking at me and it's just not appropriate.
- I was playing Monopoly with a couple of friends and picked the hat piece, winked, and said... M'nopoly.
- I don't mind women breastfeeding in public... But I hate it when they get offended when I wink at them and ask for a taste.
- My wife found my hard sock in the laundry. She winked at me and said "Have you been using cornstarch?"
I said "No, it's just my Johnson's baby powder." - I don't have a problem with women breastfeeding in public. I just wish that they would wink back at me.
Comical Wink Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about wink you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wink pranks.
An over the shoulder stare followed by a seductive wink is one of the sexiest things in the world.
Not during a r**... exam though!
The Drums Must Not Stop
A man was exploring the African jungle and came upon a tribe of natives, their presence underscored by the distinctive and monotonous beating of drums. The man spoke with the tribe and they allowed him to stay with them and sleep on their grounds.
The first night, the man didn't sleep a wink due to the ongoing drumming so he spoke to the chief. "Chief, I got no sleep last night. Could you maybe stop the drumming for a night so I could rest?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man figured it was their culture and focused on enjoying the day, studying and spending time with the tribe.
That night, the drums again kept the man awake for the whole night and in the morning he spoke with the chief.
"Chief, please! I need some sleep; couldn't the drums cease for just one night for my health?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man, exacerbated, let the issue drop and tried to focus on the day at hand, but could not focus due to lack of sleep and the incessant pounding of the drums.
That night, the beating of the drums left the man sleepless yet again in the morning he angrily approached the chief.
"Chief, I've just about had it. The drums must stop; it is impossible to get any rest with them!"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
"Why! Why can the drums not stop? What happens when the drums stop?!"
The chief replied, "Bass solo."
A Winking Salesman!
A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.
"Looking at your resume, I can see that you're more than qualified", says the interviewer. "Unfortunately, we can't have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can't hire you", adds the interviewer.
"But wait", says the man. "If I take two aspirin, I stop winking".
"Then show me", replies the interviewer.
So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colours before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking.
"It's great. You stopped winking", says the interviewer, "but we can't have our salesmen womanizing all over the country".
"What do you mean?", asks the man. "I'm happily married".
"How do you explain all the condoms?" asks the interviewer.
"Oh, that", sighs the man. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"
Bedroom animals
A pair of newlyweds are out for drinks with a middle-aged couple who have been married for twenty years.
Having knocked back a few, the older husband turns to the newlyweds and remarks with a wink: "I bet you two are like a couple of rabbits in the bedroom."
The newlyweds laugh awkwardly at this, and then the young husband asks "Well, what kind of bedroom animals are you two then?"
The older husband screws up his face and thinks about it for a moment, then exclaims wryly: "Don't know about me, but Margaret here would have to be a camel: she can go for weeks and weeks without s**...."
Without missing a beat, Margaret replies: "That's funny because I was thinking George here would also be a camel: two humps and it's over."
A man took a woman out for dinner...
but she didn't speak a word of English. They were having a great time, though, feeding each other, flirting, touching and giggling. After the meal is over, the woman draws a picture of a bed on a napkin and gives a sly wink. The man still can't figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.
The comments in another thread were slamming Readers Digest jokes, and that's where this one came from.
A r**... is selling sausages.
A r**... is selling sausages. A woman walks up to him and places an order.
The woman asks, "Can I have one hot dog please?"
"How would you like your *meat*?"
The r**... gives the woman a wink
The woman replies, "In bread."
She shoots a wink back at him
I saw a girl busking today.
She had a great voice and an even better pair of legs, emphasised by the short skirt she was wearing.
"Any requests?" She asked the watching crowd.
"Your thong," I replied with a wink.
Everyone gasped in horror, and the girl slapped me.
It's tough being an Elton John fan with a lisp.
Cold war joke.
There's a sale on p**... at the New York Macy's store
An American woman goes to the checkout with 7 p**....
Cashier:" Only 7? They're on sale this week.
The woman replies,"No Thanks,7 is all. One for every day of the week."
Next in line is a woman from France with 5 p**....
Cashier:"Only 5? They're on sale.
"Thank You,but no. I have one for each weekday and on weekends I'm a free spirit(wink wink)
Next in line a great big burly Russian woman with 12.
Cashier: Well 12,that's a nice even amount.
Russian. "Yes 12.....Jan,February,March,April........
c**...
Many years ago
Just before leaving to meet my first real girlfriend,
My Dad pulled me into his bedroom,
He opened his bedside drawer and handed me a c**....
With a wink he said, 'Take care, Son, I'm proud of you'
To this day I'm not sure what was worse:
My Dad's knowledge and pride in what I was about to do,
or
Having used a c**... that was intended for my Mother.
Newlyweds and their problems
A young couple got married and the wife couldn't cook. But they were still in the honeymoon phase, so the first night after they got home, the husband comes home from work and the wife says "I'm sorry I burned dinner." So the husband says "That's all right honey let's just make love."
The second night, he comes home from work and she says "I'm sorry honey, I messed up dinner." He says "That's all right honey, let's just go to bed wink wink."
The third night he comes home and she's sitting on the radiator. He asks what she's doing? and she answers "Warming up supper."
The cashier at my local grocery store hates me...
I'm always paying in 1$ bills and I use a lot of them. I attempted to calm her down with some humor.
"I'm an exotic dancer...and I'm really good at it", I said with a wink.
She replied with a glare, "I doubt that. If you were any good you'd be paying with $5's"
I know what you did
A little kid is often picking his nose. His mother tells him: "Honey, don't do this". The little kid asks "why?". The mother wants to think of some excuse so she says: "because... when you do it, then when you grow up, you will be fat like our neighbour next door."
After some time the little kid is in a subway train and spots a pregnant woman there. He starts to wink and point to her belly.
"Why do you do that?" asks the woman.
The little kid winks again: "I know what you did."
The cashmere sweater story
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Last night my wife crawled into bed with me and told me she'd do anything for a new cashmere sweater," the guy says. "So I asked, 'Anything?' nudge nudge wink wink, and she replied "ANYTHING!'" "Wow!" the bartender replies. "What did you do?" "I told her to learn how to knit."
My mom taught me that it is impossible to hum and wink at the same time...
She also taught me that I was gullible, kind of like the people who are reading this and just tried to hum and wink with ease. Thank mom, I love you!
I had to have f**... removed when I was thirteen
My sister was born with no eyelids and the doctor suggested making them out of f**....
Worked awesome, she can blink and wink normally. Only thing is that she is a bit cockeyed...
A man goes to visit his wife who is in a coma.
One of the nurses pulls him aside and tells him that she's heard that occasionally o**... s**... will cause the person in a coma to wake up. The stimulation could literally jar the person awake. With a sly wink she leaves the hubby alone with his wife. A few minutes later alarm bells are ringing and he's screaming for help. The nurse rushes in to find the hubby pulling up his pants screaming, "I did what you said, but I think she choked."
Did you hear Hef's f**... had to be postponed....
They couldn't shut the lid on the casket. (wink)
Timothy and Anna decide to have a walk
Timothy and Anna decide to have a walk. As they come across a field filled with about 20 cows and 1 bull, the bull decides he has to make some little calfs and starts to cover a cow.
Thimothy sees what the bull is doing and says with a wink to Anna: 'What if I do what the bull is doing right now?'
'I don't care', she replies, ' those aren't my cows.'
I recently noticed how often a lot of random girls would wink at me
only they wink both of their eyes at the same time
