The Best 75 Wings Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Wings jokes. There are some wings ruffle jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these wings west wing puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Wings Jokes and Puns

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar...

...they each order a pint. The Englishman gets his beer, looks at it and sees a fly in it. He immediately pushes the drink aside and demands a fresh pint. The Scotsman gets his drink and there's a fly in his. He calmly picks the fly out, flicks it aside and enjoys his drink. Finally, the Irishman gets his drink and there's a fly in his. He pulls it out, holds it by the wings and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out, you thief!"

I have an eating disorder...

I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.

A Vampire died and was in the process of being reincarnated...

They asked him, "What would you like to have in your next lifetime?"

"Drinking blood is good but I don't like hunting, ideally I'd like to have a easy supply of fresh blood."
"Alright."

"I also like turning into a bat and flying, so let me retain wings.", he said.
"Noted."

"One last thing, my dark complexion seems to scare people too much, can I turn into something white?"
"Sure thing."

**Poof**

He became a maxi pad.

Wings joke, A Vampire died and was in the process of being reincarnated...

What do you call a bird with 3 wings and 3 legs?

Triangull

Why is it never a good idea to use a Chinese phone book?

There are so many Wings and Wongs, you might wing a wong number.


A guy calls his local butchery...

- Do you have chicken paws?
- Yes
- Do you have chicken wings?
- Yes, I do
- Do you have pig's head?
- Sure
- You must look really funny then

An American, Englishman, and an Irishman all have mugs of beer in front of them.

It's discovered that all three mugs each have one housefly in them. The American takes the fly out and drinks his beer. The Englishman explains the situation to the bartender and asks for a new beer. The Irishman picks the fly up by its wings and goes, "Spit it out, ya sonofabitch!"

Wings joke, An American, Englishman, and an Irishman all have mugs of beer in front of them.

what did the maxi pad say to the fart?

you are the wind beneath my wings. :D

I heard this from someone, somewhere, many moons ago.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar...

... and each order a beer. As the beers are set down on the table three flies fly into the bar and land in the beer, one in each glass. The Englishman pushes his beer away and orders another. The Irishman blows the foam off the top of his beer along with the fly and drinks the beer. The Scotsman picks up the fly by the wings and says "Alrright ya wee bastarrd, spit it out."

Brace yourself for the shortest and corniest joke in the world

What do you call a fly with no wings....... A walk

There are 11 blondes...

hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will crash. So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.

After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......

Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.

You can explore wings hooter reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean wings flaps dad jokes. There are also wings puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What did the maxi-pad say to the fart?

"You are the wind beneath my wings."

Hooters waitress

During a long day of looking around a car show me and a couple of my friends stopped in at "Hooter's" for some Hot Wings and a few beers... After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me which waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with. I told them "The one who knows how to fix elevators.

The difference between birds

A new study from a renowned bird journal found the difference between crows and ravens.

Apparently, aside from size, their wings are made differently. The common crow has six pinions per wing, while the raven has only five.

The conclusion: It is only a difference of a pinion.

Riddle: What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?

A dead bird

What has two wings and a halo?

A chinese man on the phone! Wing wing, halo?

Wings joke, What has two wings and a halo?

3 bad dad jokes

I use these back to back to back all the time.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSHHHHHHHH

Butterfly

I saw a butterfly with no wings today. I poured some Red Bull on it and BAM... it drowned

I found a butterfly without wings...

So I poured some RedBull on it and BAM... It drowned.


What do you call a Chinese fly with no wings?

A wok.

A pig with wings walks into a bar. Stunned, the bartender says

"You can't bring food in here from another restaurant! Even if you are a cop!"

What has two wings and a halo?

A Japanese phone,

Wing wing, "Halo?"

A man walks into a bar ...

And proceeds to order a beer. The bartender says, "Sure, that'll be 25 cents please". The man almost spits out his beer in shock.

"Wow, 25 cents! I'll get some chicken wings too!"

The bartender replies, "That'll be 30 cents!"

"Where is the owner", asks the man, "I want to shake his hand!"

"Upstairs with my sister", replies the barkeep.

"Huh, why?", asks the confused costumer.

"He's doing to her, what I'm doing to his bar."

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk.

What do you call that same fly without legs?

A raisin.

Put Wings On

I cant wait until they can put wings on humans.

When they can put wings on humans, they can put wings on pigs, and when they can put wings on pigs, lots of pretty girls from college owe me sex.

What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk?

A dead bird.

A polar bear walks in to a bar...

He sits down and the bar tender asks what he would like.

The polar bear says: " I'll have a..."

...

...

...

Bartender says: "a Burger?"

PB: ...

...

...

...

BT: "Some wings?"

PB: ...

...

...

PB: "a beer".

The bartender asks "why the long pause?'

The polar bear raises his arms and says "I was born with them"

My 8 year old son made me laugh with a dad joke...

We were trying to decide where to eat, I offered up Buffalo Wild Wings, but my son and daughter were being indecisive. I finally said ok guys, make up your mind My son replied with a cocky grin "C'mon Mom we'll just wing it"...he then burst into laughter for five minutes....his fathers humor is really rubbing off on him.

While playing in the backyard, Johnny kills a honeybee

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?

TIL: Phonebooks are banned in China

Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs, you might Wing the Wong number.

What has TWO wings, and ONE arrow?

A Chinese telephone.

Wing wing. Arrow?

I had an idea for a plane with no wings

but it never really took off.

Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people?

There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number.

I saw a mosquito flying over my head and i caught it

Then, I took off its wings and I shouted to it "Go Fly!"
but it didnt fly.
Conclusion: Mosquitoes go deaf when you remove their wings

What is the difference between a raven and a crow??

Well, ravens and crows both have large feathers on their wings called 'pinions'. Ravens have 4 pinions on each wing while crows only have 3.

So if you think about it, it's just a matter of a pinion

I once skydived off a crane.

Poor little fellow, I must have damaged his wings.

I like my women like I like my wings

Bone-in

A young first officer asks his Captain

A young first officer asks his Captain,
"Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don't seem to be getting better at flying?"

And the Captain patiently answers: "Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?"

"Yes, my sir, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it."

"Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all these stupid things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft."

What do you call a fly with no wings ?

A walk

I just flew back from Chernobyl

These new wings work perfectly!

Name a bird with wings but can't fly?

Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly."
Student: "A dead bird, sir."

What has 2 wings and 1 Arrow ?

A Chinese telephone

Wing

Wing

Arrow?

(posted this last year got some good feedback)

How many wings does a turkey need to answer the phone?

I'll let you know. The phone is still winging.

I like my Holy Infants the way I like my chicken wings..,

Tender and mild.

What has a beak but doesn't peck, wings but doesn't fly, and feet but doesn't walk?

A dead bird.

A man came up to me today and said "I've invented an aeroplane without wings"

I thought, that'll never take off

Why is it so difficult to phone people in China?

The country is so full of Wings and Wongs, every time you wing you get the wong number.

What has two wings and a halo?

An Asian phone call; "Wing, Wing, Halo!?"

Dad: Are you going to fly home?

Son: No, I can't just grow wings and fly. I'm going to take a plane.

Dad: They're just gonna let you take it?

Why are there no Chinese names in the phone book?

Because there's too many wings and too many wongs so you might wing the wong number.

My Daughter…

My daughter once said to me

Dad, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

She was just an embryo.

A cop and a firefighter die and go to heaven.

God gives them each some wings, with a warning that if they have even one bad thought, they'll lose their wings.

A little while goes by. The cop and firefighter are checking out heaven together. Then, a smoking hot girl walks by. The firefighter's wings fall off.

The firefighter bends over to pick up his wings, and the cop's wings fall off.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....

The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 bucks my parrot can recite the Gettysburg Address!" The parrot squawks a bit and flaps its wings. Furious, the man pays the bartender and returns home.

When they get home the man berates the parrot for failing to perform and the parrot responds, "You fool! Just think of the odds we can get next time!"

I have 600 legs, 30 arms, a pair of wings, and 1000 eyes. What am I?

A liar.

Why are there no phones in China?

There's so many wings and wongs you might wing the wong number

I once tried to pay for my food at Hooters with an energy drink...

Apparently Red Bull doesn't give you wings.

Teacher: Give me an example of a bird that has wings but can not fly...

Student: A dead bird.

What happens when you call a duck?

His phone wings

If I were ever to win the lottery, first thing I'd do is hire someone to clean my kids room...

and then buy some chicken wings with the $20 I have left over.

I started carrying a moist towelette in my wallet instead of a condom.

I run into chicken wings more often that I do sex.

Why did Ben Shapiro destroy a KFC restaurant?

'Cause they served him left wings.

What has two wings and a halo?

A Chinese telephone.

Did you hear the one about the Angel that spread her legs instead of her wings....

Got an Organ instead of a harp😬

A Duck with two broken wings walks into a bar and orders a big take out of beer and wine. The Barman, puzzled, said " How are supposed to carry this load and pay for it ? " The Duck said..

...Put them on my Bill.

An artist has a 6 year old child who also likes to draw

His child drew a horse.

The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly."

The child replied, "How did I draw it wrongly?"

The artist said, "Why does the horse have wings?"

The child replied, "Why can't it have wings?"

The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wings."

The child replied, "Then why did you call it a horse?"

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A fly, the irony is sad but the name dosen't change

Bob's first day in heaven:

God:... You're about to get your wings!

Bob:... Lemon pepper or BBQ ?

God:.... Get out.

Who doesn't like hot wings?

Icarus

Did you hear that the Great Flying Phoenix decided to get his wings clipped?

Now he just goes by Joaquin Phoenix.

A friend of mine bought an old plane, took the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant.

I don't think it will take off.

A parrot accidentally swallowed a viagara tablet and went berserk

He started humping everything he could lay his wings on .

The owner called the vet who said that the overheating could damage his brain so asked him to put the parrot in a freezer.

The owner somehow caught the parrot and forced into the freezer and forced it shut.

After 10 mins, he slowly opened only to find the parrot sweating profusely.

The owner asked 'why are you sweating?'.

The parrot said ' Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?'

A childhood classic my dad used to tell me:

Q. Why was a frog flying?
A. Because he ate a helium baloon.

Q. Then why was a snake flying?
A. Because it ate the flying frog.

Q. Then why was the eagle flying?
A. Because it has wings

A fly loses his wings and 4 legs, what is he now?

A draggin fly

What's got four wheels, no wings, and flies?

A rubbish truck.

I found a butterfly on the ground without wings, so I poured some redbull on it and BAM...

... it drowned

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the wings left wing jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working wings right wing piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes