Wings Jokes
148 wings jokes and hilarious wings puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wings that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of hilarious chicken wings jokes! Whether you're a fan of the Detroit Red Wings, Buffalo Wild Wings, Boneless Wings, or even Angel Wings, these puns and one-liners are sure to make you chuckle. We've flown high to bring you a selection of jokes about wings of fire, airplane wings, bingo wings, and more. Enjoy a few laughs today with our wings jokes!
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Funniest Wings Short Jokes
Short wings jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wings humour may include short feathers jokes also.
- A plane carrying Donald Trump made an emergency landing in New Orleans after alleged engine failure over the Gulf of Mexico. Turns out there was just a loud whine coming from the right wing.
- What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk? A dead bird.
- What has 2 wings and 1 Arrow ? A Chinese telephone
Wing
Wing
Arrow?
(posted this last year got some good feedback) - What's the difference between the USA and a bird? On a bird, the left wing and the right wing work together to benefit the whole bird.
- I found a butterfly without wings... So I poured some RedBull on it and BAM... It drowned.
- A pig with wings walks into a bar. Stunned, the bartender says "You can't bring food in here from another restaurant! Even if you are a cop!"
- I think I just made the best dad joke ever. My son Robbie asked how he should get Poe into his X-wing toy. I said Wedge him. I had no one else to tell.
- I have an eating disorder... I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
- What has eight legs, two arms, two wings, and three heads? A person on a horse holding a chicken.
- I regret joining a band with a turkey on drums. He usually forgets his drumsticks so he has to wing it.
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Wings One Liners
Which wings one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wings? I can suggest the ones about owls and winds.
- What's Icarus' least favorite food? hot wings
- What has TWO wings, and ONE arrow? A Chinese telephone.
Wing wing. Arrow? - I would never get on a plane with Ben Shapiro He would try to destroy the left wing.
- Who doesn't like hot wings? Icarus
- What happens when you call a duck? His phone wings
- I have 600 legs, 30 arms, a pair of wings, and 1000 eyes. What am I? A liar.
- What has two wings and a halo? A Japanese phone,
Wing wing, "halo?" - What do you call a Chinese fly with no wings? A wok.
- What do you get when you take the wings off of a fly? A walk
- Why did Ben Shapiro destroy a kfc restaurant? 'Cause they served him left wings.
- What has two wings and a halo? A chinese man on the phone! Wing wing, halo?
- Why don't birds study for tests? They like to wing it
- What has two wings and a halo? An Asian phone call; "Wing, Wing, Halo!?"
- What do you call a bird with 3 wings and 3 legs? Triangull
- Never take a plane with Ben Shapiro He will destroy the left wing
Chicken Wings Jokes
Here is a list of funny chicken wings jokes and even better chicken wings puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I fed my chickens a chicken wing... I guess you could say they enjoyed themselves. *ba dum tss*
- A guy calls his local butchery... - Do you have chicken paws?
- Yes
- Do you have chicken wings?
- Yes, I do
- Do you have pig's head?
- Sure
- You must look really funny then - My local KFC will be celebrating star wars day on May 4th with an Anakin special. It's an extra crispy chicken with no legs and only one wing.
- I guess politicians are just a bunch of chickens. Ya got the right wing and the left wing.
- If I were ever to win the lottery, first thing I'd do is hire someone to clean my kids room... and then buy some chicken wings with the $20 I have left over.
- I like my Holy Infants the way I like my chicken wings.., Tender and mild.
- Kentucky Fried Chicken just donated a large sum of money to a hospital I heard they are calling it the Chicken Wing
- Why did the Chicken not cross the road? Because he winged it
- Why don't chickens like to plan? They rather wing it
- From my 8 year old daughter. How do you make a rooster fly? Chicken wings
Angel Wings Jokes
Here is a list of funny angel wings jokes and even better angel wings puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call angels without wings? Friends.
- Why do angels have wings? So they don't trip over all the fetuses.
- Women are Angels.
And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...
On a broomstick.
We're flexible like that. - My baby's like an angel It's beautiful, heavenly, has wings and oh yeah, IT DOESN'T EXIST.
- Did you hear the one about the Angel that spread her legs instead of her wings.... Got an o**... instead of a harp😬
- What do you call angels without wings? Friends.
How about a friend that **has** wings?
An employee at KFC.
Buffalo Wings Jokes
Here is a list of funny buffalo wings jokes and even better buffalo wings puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm going to start a new restaurant that specializes in fine cheeses and buffalo wings. I'm calling it "Leg 'n Dairy"
- Every time Guy Fieri farts... A buffalo gets its wild wings
- How do you get buffalo wings? You give a buffalo Red Bull.
Rib-Tickling Wings Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about wings you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean birds prey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wings pranks.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar...
...they each order a pint. The Englishman gets his beer, looks at it and sees a fly in it. He immediately pushes the drink aside and demands a fresh pint. The Scotsman gets his drink and there's a fly in his. He calmly picks the fly out, flicks it aside and enjoys his drink. Finally, the Irishman gets his drink and there's a fly in his. He pulls it out, holds it by the wings and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out, you thief!"
A Vampire died and was in the process of being reincarnated...
They asked him, "What would you like to have in your next lifetime?"
"Drinking blood is good but I don't like hunting, ideally I'd like to have a easy supply of fresh blood."
"Alright."
"I also like turning into a bat and flying, so let me retain wings.", he said.
"Noted."
"One last thing, my dark complexion seems to scare people too much, can I turn into something white?"
"Sure thing."
**p**...**
He became a m**... pad.
Why is it never a good idea to use a Chinese phone book?
There are so many Wings and Wongs, you might wing a wong number.
An American, Englishman, and an Irishman all have mugs of beer in front of them.
It's discovered that all three mugs each have one housefly in them. The American takes the fly out and drinks his beer. The Englishman explains the situation to the bartender and asks for a new beer. The Irishman picks the fly up by its wings and goes, "Spit it out, ya s**...!"
what did the m**... pad say to the f**...?
you are the wind beneath my wings. :D
I heard this from someone, somewhere, many moons ago.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar...
... and each order a beer. As the beers are set down on the table three flies fly into the bar and land in the beer, one in each glass. The Englishman pushes his beer away and orders another. The Irishman blows the foam off the top of his beer along with the fly and drinks the beer. The Scotsman picks up the fly by the wings and says "Alrright ya wee bastarrd, spit it out."
Brace yourself for the shortest and corniest joke in the world
What do you call a fly with no wings....... A walk
There are 11 blondes...
hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will c**.... So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.
After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......
Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.
I heard they banned phones now in China
Apparently there is so many Wings and so many Wongs they keep Winging the Wong number.
What did the m**...-pad say to the f**...?
"You are the wind beneath my wings."
h**... waitress
During a long day of looking around a car show me and a couple of my friends stopped in at "h**...'s" for some Hot Wings and a few beers... After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me which waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with. I told them "The one who knows how to fix elevators.
The difference between birds
A new study from a renowned bird journal found the difference between crows and ravens.
Apparently, aside from size, their wings are made differently. The common crow has six pinions per wing, while the raven has only five.
The conclusion: It is only a difference of a pinion.
KFC releases Obama bucket of chicken
Its full of left wings and chicken a**...'
Riddle: What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?
A dead bird
3 bad dad jokes
I use these back to back to back all the time.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSHHHHHHHH
Butterfly
I saw a butterfly with no wings today. I poured some Red Bull on it and BAM... it drowned
My friend once talked me out of jumping off a building with my new homemade glider wings.
He said I didnt understand the gravity of the situation.
Where did Neanderthals get their chicken wings?
Cave-FC
A man walks into a bar ...
And proceeds to order a beer. The bartender says, "Sure, that'll be 25 cents please". The man almost spits out his beer in shock.
"Wow, 25 cents! I'll get some chicken wings too!"
The bartender replies, "That'll be 30 cents!"
"Where is the owner", asks the man, "I want to shake his hand!"
"Upstairs with my sister", replies the barkeep.
"Huh, why?", asks the confused costumer.
"He's doing to her, what I'm doing to his bar."
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
What do you call that same fly without legs?
A raisin.
Put Wings On
I cant wait until they can put wings on humans.
When they can put wings on humans, they can put wings on pigs, and when they can put wings on pigs, lots of pretty girls from college owe me s**....
A polar bear walks in to a bar...
He sits down and the bar tender asks what he would like.
The polar bear says: " I'll have a..."
...
...
...
Bartender says: "a Burger?"
PB: ...
...
...
...
BT: "Some wings?"
PB: ...
...
...
PB: "a beer".
The bartender asks "why the long pause?'
The polar bear raises his arms and says "I was born with them"
My 8 year old son made me laugh with a dad joke...
We were trying to decide where to eat, I offered up Buffalo Wild Wings, but my son and daughter were being indecisive. I finally said ok guys, make up your mind My son replied with a c**... grin "C'mon Mom we'll just wing it"...he then burst into laughter for five minutes....his fathers humor is really rubbing off on him.
I like my women like I like my wings
Covered in BBQ sauce
Why doesn't China have a phone directory?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs they'd still wing the wong number.
While playing in the backyard, Johnny kills a honeybee
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?
What am I?
I have 4 eyes, hundreds of legs, and wings. What am I?
A liar.
TIL: Phonebooks are banned in China
Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs, you might Wing the Wong number.
I had an idea for a plane with no wings
but it never really took off.
What has 3 wings and flies?
The mortuary.
Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people?
There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number.
What's a Fly without it's wings?
A Walk
What has six eyes, four wings and eight legs?
Two chickens and a goat.
I saw a mosquito flying over my head and i caught it
Then, I took off its wings and I shouted to it "Go Fly!"
but it didnt fly.
Conclusion: Mosquitoes go deaf when you remove their wings
What is the difference between a raven and a crow??
Well, ravens and crows both have large feathers on their wings called 'pinions'. Ravens have 4 pinions on each wing while crows only have 3.
So if you think about it, it's just a matter of a pinion
If you take the wings off a fly...
Does that make it a walk?
I'm gonna start a wings bar for gay people...
I think I'm gonna call it "Cockgobblers"
I once skydived off a crane.
Poor little fellow, I must have damaged his wings.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A raisin!
I like my women like I like my wings
Bone-in
A young first officer asks his Captain
A young first officer asks his Captain,
"Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don't seem to be getting better at flying?"
And the Captain patiently answers: "Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?"
"Yes, my sir, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it."
"Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all these s**... things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft."
What do you call a fly with no wings ?
A walk
I just flew back from Chernobyl
These new wings work perfectly!
Name a bird with wings but can't fly?
Teacher: "Name a bird with wings but can't fly."
Student: "A dead bird, sir."
What do you call a chicken without a skeleton?
Boneless wings
How many wings does a turkey need to answer the phone?
I'll let you know. The phone is still winging.
A Vampire met a genie
"I'll give you three wishes, no more, no less" Said the Genie to the Vampire.
"I want to have wings. It's weird to be able to fly without wings." Said the Vampire.
"It shall be done, what about the second wish?"
"I want virgins! Lots of virgins!"
"It shall be done, and the last?"
"I want blood! Lots of blood!"
"Abracadabra hocus pocus" The genie casted the spell.
****p**...****
.
.
.
.
.
And the Vampire turned into a sanitary pad.
What has a beak but doesn't p**..., wings but doesn't fly, and feet but doesn't walk?
A dead bird.
A man came up to me today and said "I've invented an aeroplane without wings"
I thought, that'll never take off
Why is it so difficult to phone people in China?
The country is so full of Wings and Wongs, every time you wing you get the wong number.
What is grey, has wings and is a terrible swimmer?
A castle.
Dad: Are you going to fly home?
Son: No, I can't just grow wings and fly. I'm going to take a plane.
Dad: They're just gonna let you take it?
Why are there no Chinese names in the phone book?
Because there's too many wings and too many wongs so you might wing the wong number.
In response to the TIL about the difference between a crow and raven
Do you know the difference between a crow and a raven? Well, the feathers that are the long vertical feathers on the wings are called pinion feathers. They help the birds fly. A raven has 13 of these feathers and raven only has 12. So I guess you could say that the difference between a crow and a raven is the difference of a pinion. I'll show myself out now.
My Daughter…
My daughter once said to me
Dad, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
She was just an embryo.
A cop and a firefighter die and go to heaven.
God gives them each some wings, with a warning that if they have even one bad thought, they'll lose their wings.
A little while goes by. The cop and firefighter are checking out heaven together. Then, a smoking hot girl walks by. The firefighter's wings fall off.
The firefighter bends over to pick up his wings, and the cop's wings fall off.
What haw two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone.
(I'm Chinese and I give this joke the Chinese stamp of approval)
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....
The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 bucks my parrot can recite the Gettysburg Address!" The parrot squawks a bit and flaps its wings. Furious, the man pays the bartender and returns home.
When they get home the man berates the parrot for failing to perform and the parrot responds, "You fool! Just think of the odds we can get next time!"
I bought a Monster energy drink for my wheelchair-ridden co-worker.
It's a shame we don't sell Red Bull, because who needs legs when you could have wings?
Why are there no phones in China?
There's so many wings and wongs you might wing the wong number
I once tried to pay for my food at h**... with an energy drink...
Apparently Red Bull doesn't give you wings.
Teacher: Give me an example of a bird that has wings but can not fly...
Student: A dead bird.
I was at work the other day and after telling a customer what he owed, he handed me a bag of Tyson wings and drummettes.
I said to him, "Sorry, we don't accept chicken tenders."
What do you call a fly with no wings?
Cruelly abused
