Wine Cellar Jokes
42 wine cellar jokes and hilarious wine cellar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wine cellar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Wine Cellar Short Jokes
Short wine cellar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wine cellar humour may include short cellar jokes also.
- Some young women are like bottles of wine They need to be tended to carefully and given time to mature, which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
- I told my wife that a Husband ages like wine. We get better with age. So she locked me in the cellar.
- I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.
- I like my wine like I do my women.... ... six years old, filled with alcohol and stored in my cellar.
- What's the difference between fine wine and fine women? Fine wine doesn't try and escape from my cellar.
- You're like fine wine... I'd rather keep you in the cellar and brag to my friends that I bought you.
- Good friends are like bottles of sweet wine .. that's why I keep mine locked in the cellar.
- I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine...
I always get better with age.
The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar. - Kids are like Wine. They belong in the cellar.
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Wine Cellar One Liners
Which wine cellar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wine cellar? I can suggest the ones about wine tasting and wine.
- I like my women like I like my wine... Twelve years old and in the cellar.
- What austrian girls and wine have in common? Both mature in a cellar.
- I like my girlfriends how I like my wine... 10 years old and locked in a cellar
- I like my woman like I like my wine. About 20 years old and locked up in my cellar.
- Good friends are like fine wine That's why I keep mine locked in the cellar.
- Good friends are like fine wine. I keep them locked in the cellar.
- What do you call a basement full of journeymen? A wine cellar.
- My family is like wine... Locked up in a barrel in the cellar
- Women and Wine I like my women like my wine, aging in the cellar.
- I like my woman like I like my fine wine Ten years old and in my cellar
- I like my woman how I like my wine Locked up in my cellar.
- Wine storage Why is wine storage so expensive?
It's a cellar's market - I like my women like I like my wine kept in a crate in the cellar.
- I like my wine like I like my girls... Eight to ten years old, and kept in my cellar.
- Women are like fine wines. I dont have any in my cellar.
Wine Cellar Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about wine cellar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boxed wine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wine cellar pranks.
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of red wine. The bartender's therapy dog leaps to his feet, races across the room, runs down the stairs to the wine cellar and within moments returns with a lovely bottle of cabernet savignon in his jaws which he drops gently at the bartender's feet. "Wow, that dog is amazing," the guy says. "What kind is it?" "Oh, he's nothing special," the bartender replies. "Just a bordeaux collie."
A man gets in a fight with his wife
A man gets in an argument with his wife during dinner. After the meal, the husband furiously runs down to their wine cellar and opens a bottle of vintage wine. Magically, a genie comes out of the bottle and says "You have freed me. You now have three wishes. But you should know, whatever you wish for, your wife will get double."
The man says "I understand. My first wish will be a large beach house."
The genie snapped his fingers and said "Your new beach house is waiting for you. But your wife now has two beach houses right next to yours."
"That's fine" the man said. "How about a nice sports car?"
The genie snapped his fingers and said "Your brand new sports car is in your garage. But your wife now has two sports cars. You have one more wish."
The man thought and thought about what his last wish should be. After a few hours of thinking, he stood up and told the genie "I wish you would beat me half to death."
Directly to Jesus
One of the problems catholic priests face is how to keep their young alter boys from misbehaving or not accomplishing the tasks given to them, as they have not yet concerted their faith and devotion. One year at the annual meeting of cardinals a group of priests from all over the world were complaining about this exact problem
"Every time I ask Aeris to clean the pews he sleeps on them instead!"
"That's nothing, once I found the Alter boys gambling behind the church one Sunday afternoon!"
One astute priest from america chuckes to himself and proclaims:
"Whenever an alter boy acts up I bring him directly to Jesus and we iron it out right there, right then."
The other priests were dumbfound as even they with all their devotion could not speak to Jesus directly! Well a year went by and the priests met up again and exclaimed the same problem with the alter boys was not getting any better. In an attempt to finally resolve their problem they confronted the American priest and asked him for advice. When the American priest spoke he did so with a sad tone in his voice and declared that Jesus had left his church shortly after last years meeting. Shocked the priests asked how this could be! The American priest told them that while he was gone Jesus was caught stealing red wine from the cellar and he had to hire a new janitor.