Windows 10 Jokes
101 windows 10 jokes and hilarious windows 10 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about windows 10 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Windows 10 Short Jokes
Short windows 10 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The windows 10 humour may include short microsoft windows jokes also.
- A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
- What did adobe illustrator say to Windows 10? Nothing (Adobe Illustrator has stopped responding)
- What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times? Windows 10.
- What's the definition of irony? (This happened to me today) Asked a transgender co-worker why he won't upgrade from Windows 7 to 10.
He said he didn't like change. - Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10 ? They were trying to keep their german market.
- In light of the DNC event and my own recent experience with the forced install of windows 10.. What do the Clinton's have in common with Bill Gates? They both no longer need your consent.
- "I've been a naughty, naughty girl" she said to me, biting her lower lip, "and I need to be punished" So I installed Windows 10 on her laptop.
- Why is the window's 10 update similar to a stalker? .....No matter how many times you deny either, they just keep coming back.
- So, my wife installed Windows 10 on my desktop. That's it. That's the joke. Now I have to wipe the hard drive and reload everything.
!&÷$#*choice_words♡*!@# - Me and my wife were contemplating abortion until we saw a commercial sealing the deal... "They'll do things their parents never even dreamed of, because these kids will grow up with Windows 10."
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Windows 10 One Liners
Which windows 10 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with windows 10? I can suggest the ones about windows xp and windows vista.
- I hate the new Windows 10 update. It puts me on Edge.
- How do you go from Windows 9 to windows 10 You have to get enough Windows XP.
- Windows 10 users won't get this. Privacy.
- I don't understand all the hate for Windows 10. It's a lot better than you guys mak
- What's a jew's favourite program on Windows 10? The snipping tool.
- I don't understand why people hate windows 10 It's not even that
- Why was Windows afraid of 7? Because 7 8 10.
- The box said 'Requires Windows 10 or better'. So I installed LINUX
- Why is Windows 10 like a moody teenager? Because nobody gets it.
- Windows 10 The punchline is in the title.
- My mom told me to make like a Windows 10 user And live life on Edge.
- Windows 10 now halts all hackers... Even hackers can't figure out how to use Windows 10.
- What's the best screen grabber for Windows 10? An Android phone.
- Stephen Hawking died... He tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
- I hate it when Windows 10 resets my default browser... It puts me on Edge every time
Windows 10 Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about windows 10 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean windows and apple jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make windows 10 pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was three people approaching the gates of heaven But there was only one place left.
The gate keeper asked the first man what happened to him because the one with the worst death would go inn.
The first man said:
"Well imagine that I expected my wife was having an affair, so I got home early to surprise her. I found her in the bathroom with a towel round her so I knew she wasn't having a shower so I search the apartment and found 10 fingers hanging from the window sill. So I started bashing away at them. When he fell god must have loved him, because he lived. So I threw a refrigerator at him. After all the excitement I died of a heart attack."
That's horrific said the gate keeper, he asked the second man how he died and he said.
"Well imagine this I was riding one of those stationary bike on the top of our apartment building but it went wrong I feel down and grabbed some ones window sill. Then some idiot started bashing ar my fingers then I fell but god must have loved me because i lived then -SHANNOOOWWWW- a refrigerator plunged down at me"
That is to horrific.
He asked the third man how he died and he said.
"Well imagine that I was n**... in a refrigerator..."
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window.
"I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver.
"No way! Get lost!" replied the boy.
"How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked.
"I said no way," replied the boy.
"What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the driver.
"No, I’m not getting in the car," answered the boy.
"Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars," the driver offered.
"No!" replied the boy.
"What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver.
The boy replied: "Listen, Dad: You bought the Volvo-you live with it!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**...
A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:
"Cheeseburgers: $5
Fries: $3
h**...: $10."
He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the h**...?"
"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.
"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
So there is this bar on the 15th floor of a building in New York
And this dude walks in like he owns the place. He walks up to the bartender and orders 4 of his "Special Drinks". Then he jumps out the window and flys around the building 10 times.
When he jumps back in he goes to this girl at the bar and says "Did you see that?" She says no and he orders 4 more drinks and flys around the bar again. This time she was walking to the window while he was flying and she still didn't see it. He comes back in, orders 4 more drinks and tells the girl to wait at the window. Flys around the building and this time she sees it.
When he jumps back in she is ecstatic. "Oh my god! That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Bartender, give me 4 of those drinks."
She jumps out the window and falls to her death.
The bartender turns to the man and says "Superman, you're a mean drunk"
A Rabbi, a priest, and a holy roller
walk onto a car lot. After much searching, they all find the car of their dreams. Perfect color, size, gas mileage, and price. They tell the salesman what they want, but he informs them that there is only one of these cars on the lot, and they have no idea when they will get another shipment.
The priest has an idea. "We will let God decide! Let us each bless the car, and God will then choose one of us and let us buy it!"
They all agree to this, so the priest starts saying a rosary and waving a cross over the car's hood. The holy roller starts babbling and splashing the windows with holy water. After about 10 minutes of this, the two men were confused; they hadn't seen the Rabbi since they started...
he was behind the car, cutting two inches off the tailpipe.
Joke for any South Africans out there...
Mbeki, Jacob Zuma, Geraldine Fraser-Moleketi and Manto Tsabalala Msimang were flying together in the President's jet. Thabo Mbeki suddenly said: You know what. I can throw a R500 right now out of this window and make someone happy.
Jacob Zuma said: I can throw five R 100 notes out of the window and I will make 5 people unbelievably happy.
Geraldine said: I will give government employees 7.25% salary increase and make millions happy .
Manto said : I will can throw ten R 50 notes out of the window and make 10 people very, very happy.
The one pilot looks at the other and says:
Listen to those 4 showoffs at the back… I can throw all 4 of them out of the window right now and I will make the whole country very happy!
A Blonde, Brunette, and a Redhead...
were driving down a desert road when the car runs out of gas. Realizing the gas station is still 10 miles ahead, they each decide to take one item with them.
The Blonde asks the Brunette, "What are you going to take?". The Brunette responds, "I am going to take these sodas with us just in case we get thirsty, we have something to drink."
The Blonde then asks the Redhead, "What are you going to take?". The Redhead responds , "Well I guess I'll take the rest of the McDonalds we bought. If we get hungry, we have something to eat."
The Blonde then says aloud, "Well then I will take the car door, we're in the desert afterall, so if we get hot we can roll down the window."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Best Obama joke Ive heard in a while
so Obama, Michelle Obama, and Oprah are in airforce one, Obama turns around and says "I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window and make someone very happy". Michelle Obama turns and says "I could throw 10 $10,000 bills out the window and make 10 people really happy". Oprah said "Ill beat both of you, I can throw 100 $10,000 bills out the window and make 100 people really happy". Then the pilot turns to them and says "Yeah but i could c**... this plane and make 200 million people REALLY happy!"
Why is the new Windows OS called Windows 10
Because 789
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Obama, Biden, and Clinton sit in a plane..
Obama looks out the window and says to the other two, "Ive been thinking. I wish I could do more to help these people; they deserve so much!"
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a $100 bill. He says, "If I drop this out the window, I can make somebody really happy!"
Biden clears his t**... and says, "Excuse me Mr. President, but I can do you one better." He pulls out ten $10 bills and continues, "I can drop ten of these out the window and make ten people really happy!"
Clinton clears her t**... and says, "I can top both of you!" She pulls out of her purse one hundred $1 bills. "I can drop one hundred of these and make one hundred people really happy!"
At this point the pilot comes out of the cabinet and laughs. At the inquiring looks of Obama, Biden, and Clinton he says, "I can top all of you! I can c**... this plane and make millions of people happy!"
The true reason why Microsoft decided to roll with Windows 10
789
My girlfriend is like Windows...
She's 10.
Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10?
They revived to much XP 👌
After coming out of hibernation the Philae Lander has some tough decisions.
Reserve that free Windows 10 upgrade or not...?
The Greek Prime Minister visits the Spanish Prime Minister.
The Spanish PM invites the Greek PM to his house.
"Wow! This is magnificent! How can you afford this amazing household when your country is in so much debt?? I see you've even added on so much to it!" says the Greek PM.
"Look out that window. Do you see that bridge? I had a 10 million euro budget to build a four lane, two way bridge. Instead, I built a one lane bridge with traffic lights on either end, for half as much" responded the Spanish PM.
"And the other 5 million?" asked the Greek PM.
The Spanish PM gestured to the add ons to his house.
The next week, the Spanish PM was invited to the Greek PM's house.
"This....this is amazing....how can you afford such a gorgeous mansion with so much debt in Greece??" asked the Spanish PM.
"Look out te window. Do you see that bridge?" asked the Greek PM.
"No." Said the Spanish PM.
The Greek PM just smiled.
A friend told me this one. What's the difference between Windows 8.1 and Windows 10?
The start menu.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... was asked if he wanted to ugrade to Windows 10
He replied: "vhat about vindows nein?"
Tom Cruise was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10.
Still awaiting his response...
So I just upgraded to Windows 10, I'm not happy about it.
My mouse cursor was on the left side of the screen but my mouse was in the middle of my mouse pad.
I hate the new 'Edge' browser Microsoft implemented in Windows 10...
...It's so pointless!
Why Arnold Schwarzenegger won't upgrade to Windows 10.
I just checked out the new Windows 10 browser.
I'm still on the edge to download Google Chrome.
My first date with a 10
Windows up'date' 10
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two jews are walking past an evangelical church...
When they see a sign in the window, "accept Jesus today and we'll give you $10,000"
Goldberg says to his buddy Strausman, "Hey Straussy wait here I'm gonna go rip these g**... out of ten grand!"
"Wait!" Strausman responds, "what if you get s**... in and you lose your faith?!"
"Don't worry, Strausman. Once a Jew always a Jew. I'll say *I am found,* I'll do the dunking thing, I'll accept Jesus, badabing badaboom, and Ill walk out with $10,000!"
So Goldberg goes in and an hour later walks out to a worried Strausman. "So? Did you get the ten grand?"
"You jews, all you think about is money!"
Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10?
BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE
*drops mic*
Describe Windows 10 with two words.
Vista 2.0
What did the bully say when he threw Michael J. Fox out of a 10 story window?
Marty Mc. FLyyyyyyyyy!
He bought a new Dell with windows 10 and greetings came on screen
Adele said Hello
How do you downgrade from windows 10 to windows 98?
You drop it.
An update to Windows 10 reminder was a little icon at first
Then it was an annoying pop-up. Now it's almost a full screen reminder. Soon they will start calling me on the phone and if I say no a couple loan shark guys will come to my apartment and make me update.
What's the difference between windows 10 and a jehovah witness
None, they just keep asking you to let them in
Hillary Clinton is the Windows 10 of the election
She's terrible at keeping your information safe, keeps promising new upgrades but really has been the same OS since 98, and is constantly trying to install herself when you're happy with the system you've been using for the last 8 years.
What's the easiest way to get Windows 10?
Get Windows 8.
Muhammad Ali was doing just fine...
Until Windows 10 automatically downloaded on his life support.
Three politicians are sitting on a private plane...
The first politician took out a $1000 note, threw it out the window and said: "i just made 1 person in our country very happy".
Upon hearing this, the second politician took out ten $100 notes and threw it out of the window and said: "i just made 10 person in our country very happy".
The third politician pulled one hundred $10 notes and tossed it out of the window and said: "i just made 100 people in our country very happy".
The pilot laughed and told the co-pilot: "i can throw those 3 off the plane and make millions of people happy!".
How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?
End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"
Windows 10 must be a women
It's been saying "Getting ready" for over an hour and a half now.
Why did windows go from 8 to 10
Because the german market kept saying windows nein
The trump family is flying from New York to DC
Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
Memory wipe
"We've divided the population as you requested, Mr. President" announced the assistant "we just need your approval for the memory wipe".
"Wipe the memories from the groups 1 to 8" replied the president, "leave group 9 alone but wipe group 10 too"
"Sir, you want us to wipe groups 1 through 8 and then 10, but not 9? Group 9 refers to... children born between 1990 and 1999, why should they be left with their memories?"
The president looked out at the world from the window.
"Only 90's kids will remember this"
Another Trump joke
An american was driving his car until he ended up in a traffic jam.
After a long time of waiting and standing with his car, without moving any further, a policeman appeared and knocked on his window.
"Good day Sir, some terrorists kidnapped the President and will soak him in gasoline and burn him, if the government won't pay them 10 million dollar. We are currently asking the citizens, if they are willing to donate something."
The man took his wallet, looked insinde and asked the policeman:
"Just tell me: how much did the other drivers give?"
"About 20 to 50"
"Dollar?"
"No. Gallons"
I figured out what there wasn't a windows 6, but there was a windows 7
Because 6 was afraid of 7.
And why was that?
The same reason there was't a windows 9 between 8 and 10.
Because 7 ate 9.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into the Doctor's
"Doctor, Doctor! I've got a sore t**...."
The doctor goes,
"I know how to fix this, stand by the window and stick your tongue out."
The man complies and stands by the window for a good 5 to 10 minutes sticking his tongue out before he can't stand it anymore.
"Doctor, this seems ridiculous, are you sure it's going to help my sore t**...?"
"No, I just don't like the man across the road."
Windows 10 allowing us not to install updates
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
By the book
Lady looks out her window and sees a couple of Parks and Recreation guys setting up cones before they start work.
They finish and o**... digs a big hole by the sidewalk.
He finishes, they chat and drink coffee, then he walks about 10 yards away and starts a second hole, meanwhile, the second guy begins filling in the first hole.
They finish, chat and drink coffee, then first guy digs third hole and second guy fills second hole.
She waits until they pause again and walks out to see what's going on.
"What are you guys doing?
"Well, lady, were supposed to be planting trees, but there isn't any budget to buy them, so the Union told us to get to work. So here we are."
We've divided the population as you've requested, Mr. President, announced the assistant from the doorway, so we're just waiting on your final approval for the memory wipe.
Wipe the memory of groups 1-8, replied the president, leave group 9 alone but wipe group 10 too.
Sir? You want us to wipe groups 1 through 8 and then 10, but not 9? Group 9 refers to... children born between 1990 and 1999, why should they be left with their memories?
The president stood from his chair and looked out at the world from his window.
Only 90s kids will remember this.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women how I like Cortana on Windows 10...
...Disabled.
A 30 year old is talking to a 10 year old, who is playing on a computer.
"hey, is that windows?"
"yeah"
"what version?"
"windows 10"
"10? hah! back in the day, we had numbers as high as 95!"
I broke up with Cortana because she was talking to other people.
Almost everyone with Windows 10. Odd preference but I'm devastated.
What happens if Windows 7 gets affected by a virus?
It becomes Windows 10.
When you see a window
You get the ptsd of using window 10
"We divided the population as you requested Mr. President", announced the assistant at the door,"so we're just waiting for your approval on the memory wipe"
"Wipe the memories of groups 1-8, leave 9 and wipe 10 too." "Why leave 9 sir? 9 refers to children born between 1990 and 1999, why should they be left with their memories?"
The president looked out of the window
"Only 90s kids will remember this."
In 20 years, computers will be over 10,000 times more powerful than they are now
In fact, some researchers suggest they may even be able to run Windows 10 without crashing.
How do you delete important files on your computer permanently?
Update to the Windows 10 October Update
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Trump Family is flying from New York to DC
Donald-"I think I'll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy"
Melania- "Why don't you throw ten $100 bills and make ten Americans happy?
Ivanka- "It will be even better if you throw one hundred $10 dollar bills and make one hundred people happy?
The pilot hears the conversation and exclaims "Why don't y'all jump out the window and make the entire country happy?"
A fellow back home falls off a 10-story building
As he passes the sixth story, someone yells from the window, How's it going? The man yells back, So far, so good!
He's dead now.