window Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious window puns

Handjobs



A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:

"Cheeseburgers: $5

Fries: $3

Handjobs: $10."

He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?"

"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.

"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

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The police just pulled me over, he came up to my window and said, papers?

I said, Scissors, I win and drove off.

I think he wants a re-match he's been chasing me for 45 minutes.

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I got pulled over by a female cop...

When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said
"NOTHING"

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I got pulled over by the police ...

He came to the window and said papers ...

I said - scissors, I win - and drove off

He must be desperate for a rematch as he's been chasing me for ages!

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A cop pulls over a car with two priests.

The cop makes his way up to the window and says, We're looking for two child molesters.

The priests look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop.

We'll do it.

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Bush, Trump, and Hillary are all on a plane...

Bush says, "I could throw this 100$ bill out the window and make someone happy". Trump, with a smug look on his face replies and says, "I could throw ten 10$ bills out the window and make 10 people happy". Hillary smirks and says "oh yeah, I could throw one hundred 1$ bills out the window and make 100 people happy". Then the pilot says to the co-pilot, "I could throw all 3 of these fucking idiots out the window and make millions of people happy".

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I saw an ad in a shop window, "TV for $5- Volume stuck on full"

Couldn't turn it down.

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The trump family is flying from New York to DC

Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

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Don't you hate it when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick it out the window and you drive for a couple more miles and smell something funny and you look over onto the back seat and sure enough..

Grandma's fingering herself again

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A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home."

One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.

"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.

"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."

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Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window...

If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in...

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When one door closes...

An incognito window opens.

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I came out my front door this morning to see my neighbour frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray painted on his front window.

"What's been going on John?"' I asked.

"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.

Dirty bastard.

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Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window.

If it gets any worse ill need to let her back in.

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Since it started snowing, all my Girlfriend has done is stare through the window.

If it gets any worse i might have to let her back in.

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A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."

I told the officer I was being stalked and he asked if I could tell him anything about the man.

I said, "Yes, he reminds me of Leonardo Di Caprio."

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I saw this advert in a window that said: Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full. I thought.....

I can't turn that down.

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A man called the hotel manager...

He said "Come up quickly, I fought with my wife and now she wants to throw herself out the window!". The manager replied "Sir this is a personal matter and we can't get involved. I can call sec..." The man interrupted "No! This is a maintenance issue. The window won't open!".

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Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

The driver leans over to the other priest and they whisper between themselves.

Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

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Do you look at your wife's face when you are having sex?

I did once and she looked really angry.


Why angry?


Because she was watching from the window!

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I saw a lady texting and driving today

I was furious. I rolled down my window, and threw my beer at her.

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Since it started raining all my girlfriend has done is look through the window

If it gets any worse i'll have to let her in

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I saw this ad in a window that said: "TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full!"

I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"

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School joke

Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I'm going home now.

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A Russian named Rudolf woke up one morning

He looked out the window and announced, _"It's raining."_

His wife said, _"No dear, it's sleeting."_

He replied, _"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."_

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Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie?

Like, i was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me: Hey! Watch It!

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What gets bigger every time I watch my neighbor undress in her bedroom window?

The restraining order

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A husband calls up a hotel's manager from his room..

..Husband : Please come fast , I was having an argument with my wife and she says shes gonna jump out of the window.
Manager : Sir, I am sorry I can't help you , this seems to be a personal issue.
Husband : You asshole, this is a maintenance issue. The window isn't opening.

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Teacher asks a question

Teacher: "whoever answers my next question can go home"

Jimmy throws his bag out the window

Teacher: "who just threw that?"

Jimmy: "that was me"

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Whenever it rains my girlfriend just stands at the window looking sad.

Maybe I should let her in.

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Two guys get pulled over...

Two guys in a car get pulled over. The cop walks up to the window and says "We're looking for 2 pedophiles". The car window goes up then after a few seconds comes back down.
The driver gives a sigh. "Alright, we'll do it"

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A Cop Pulled me over,came up to window and said papers

I said "scissors, I win" and drove off... that fucker must really need a rematch because he's been chasing me for the last 20 minutes

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A man calls to the hotel's receptionist and he says........"Hello..........

..."Hello, I'm in room 420, please send someone here immediately! I'm having an argument with my wife and she's saying that she's going to jump out of the window!!"
_

The receptionist says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's your personal problem"
To which the man gets angry and he yells, "Listen you dumb bitch! The window is not opening and that's a MAINTENANCE PROBLEM!"

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As blond woman, I've heard them all. But this is my favorite blond joke.

A blonde is driving down the highway when she looks out the window to see another blonde in a rowboat, in the middle of a field, rowing as hard as she can.

She pulls over, gets out of her car, runs to the edge of the field and yells as loud as she can, 'It's bitches like you that give blondes a bad name and if I could swim, I'd come out there and beat your ass!'

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I looked out of my window in horror yesterday as a crowd gathered around a crashed motorcyclist.

I rushed outside yelling, "Let me through, let me through"

A man at the front said, "Thank God for that, are you a Doctor"?

I said "No, that's my fucking Pizza"

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What are the most funny Window jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Window? Well, here are the best Window dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Window pick up lines to share with friends.

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