Window Fitting Jokes
14 window fitting jokes and hilarious window fitting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about window fitting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Window Fitting Short Jokes
Short window fitting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The window fitting humour may include short window blind jokes also.
- I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, £2.50." I thought Why would anyone pay to see that?
- The only reason yo momma is so poor Is because she couldn't fit through her window of opportunity.
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Window Fitting One Liners
Which window fitting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with window fitting? I can suggest the ones about window panes and window and door.
- Yo mamma's broke Because she was so fat she didn't fit in her window of opportunity.
- Took a window fitting course the other day. Smashed it.
Window Fitting Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about window fitting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean window screen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make window fitting pranks.
No problems
A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.
An uneducqted p**... goes by an elementary school.
She hears a class in progress and is interested. She approaches the classroom window and hears the teacher "..What comes after N?" "P!" The children shout in unison. The teacher continues "Now can someone tell me what comes after P" the p**... in a fit of excitement burst out "BURNING!"
Man takes his son to the police station
A man takes his son to the police station to get him a job as a cop. He meets the lieutenant and tells him. "Take my son, he's really s**... and I think he fits perfectly here."
"How s**... is he?" says the lieutenant.
"Watch this. Son, go outside and see if father is outside." The son goes outside and comes back in and says "No father, father wasn't outside."
"See? I told you he's s**...."
The lieutenant says "You're right, he could have looked through the window instead."
A Former Sergeant In The Marine Corps Took A New Job As A High School Teacher
A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher.
Just before the school year started, he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
Dead silence... the rest of the year went very smoothly :)
A man and his wife were sitting down for dinner one night...
...When the wife goes "you know, the neighbours have an amazing layout for their kitchen with granite benches and beautiful cupboards, I see it from our kitchen every day, why can't we do something like that?". The Man thinks for a moment before replying "tell you what, I have the day off tomorrow so I'll get something done before you get home". The woman in a fit of excitement tells the man "you are simply amazing, I guess I'll have to make it up for you tonight". So the man and the woman continue their night ending in the most passionate, romantic s**... the man could have ever dreamt of.
The following day the woman goes about her daily business at work, eager to get home and see her newly remodelled kitchen. The woman makes her way home, opens the front door and rushes to the kitchen to find that the kitchen window had been boarded up.
I was told this joke by an old lady back when I was 12.
Three men are at the gates of Heaven. The first walks up to Saint Peter, who asks him how he died.
"I knew my wife was cheating on me, but I had no proof, so I went home early one day to catch her. I walked in and saw her lying n**... in bed, but I didn't see the guy anywhere. I looked in the bathroom, in the closet, under the bed... nothing. But then I looked out the window and saw a man hanging from the fire escape below me in his boxers. In a fit of rage I picked up the refrigerator beside me and threw it at him. Unfortunately, this gave me a heart attack and I died."
Saint Peter gives his condolences and lets the first man into Heaven. The second man walks up.
"So I was doing pull ups on my fire escape this when all of a sudden this refrigerator comes out of nowhere and flattens me!"
Saint Peter again expresses his condolences at the dramatic irony and lets the second man in. The third then walks up.
"So I was sitting n**... in a refrigerator..."
A drunk man driving a Lamborghini is pulled over...
A drunk man driving a Lamborghini is pulled over by a police officer.
As the officer approaches the car, the drunk man jumps out of the door and tries to make a run for it. The cop, furious, catches up to the drunk man and brings him back to his car.
The officer proceeds to reach into his pocket and pull out a piece of chalk, which he uses to draw a circle on the ground around the vehicle and its intoxicated owner.
After the cop obtains the drunk man's license and registration, he informs the man that he will be arrested if he takes a single step out of the chalk circle.
The cop returns to his car, when he hears the drunk man giggling in the background. He returns and tells the drunk, "If you continue laughing, I'll break your car. Shut up and keep quiet."
Not ten seconds later he hears the drunk man snickering once again. The cop takes out his club and shatters the windshield of the Lamborghini. The drunk man's laughter grew even louder.
The cop yells, "stop laughing!" as he takes out his rage on the Lamborghini even further, breaking all of its windows and batting away at the car's exterior.
The drunk's laughter increases into an uncontrollable fit, as he is practically rolling on the ground beside his mutilated Lamborghini.
At last, the cop furiously asks, "Why do you keep laughing!!?"
The drunk man stands up and says, "While you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times."
How to keep kids from acting up in class
A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.