Window Blind Jokes
24 window blind jokes and hilarious window blind puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about window blind that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Window Blind Short Jokes
Short window blind jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The window blind humour may include short window fitting jokes also.
- A blind guy rang my door bell... When I opened the door he told me, "You should really cover your windows up," and handed me a business card.
- I was seeing this h**... about twice a week. But last week she saw me and closes her blinds now.
- I heard a horror story involving a camera and window blinds. I shutter at the thought of it.
- I hate looking for window treatment advice at the hardware store... They always send me a blind guy.
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Window Blind One Liners
Which window blind one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with window blind? I can suggest the ones about window panes and window screen.
- I'm researching ways to block sunlight from windows It's actually a double-blind study.
- What does Eminem call his window blinds? Slim Shad-Es
- What does the window do when the sun shines on it? It gets Blinded
I excuse myself out. - A blind man goes window shopping
Window Blind Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about window blind you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean curtains jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make window blind pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy is asked by his friend: What would you do if your wife cheats on you?
He answers I'd throw his dog through the window and break the stick
Friend: what stick? What dog?
To what the guy replies: If someone sleeps with my wife he must be blind!
Stewardess
Yes, Sir?
I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can't sleep.
Captain, shut up and land the plane.
A businessman interviews a mathematician, an accountant, and an economist for a job
A businessman interviews a mathematician, an accountant, and an economist for a job. He asks them, What is 2 + 2?
The mathematician answers, Exactly 4.
The accountant replies, Depending on what your interest, depreciation, and taxes are, approximately 2.
The economist walks over to the door, shuts and locks it, closes the blinds on the window, and leans over and softly asks, What do you want it to be?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After doing 50 years each in the penitentiary, Jim and Joe were finally free.
The first thing they did was head straight to a brothel. The madam noticing that both men were really old and half blind decided she would just pair them each with a blow up doll and hope they wouldn't notice.
After it all went down, the first man tells the other... "I got a bad one Joe, she basically just laid there", to which he replied "better than me, I just poked her and she f**... and flew out the window".
Ivan and Piotr are drinking in a shack out in the woods...
They've been drinking for three days straight and have finally run completely out of booze.
Piotr turns to Ivan and says, "Vanya, go look in the shed out back, see if there's anything to drink there."
Ivan stumbles back with a bottle of methanol in his hand. "Well, we could drink this, but we'd go blind."
Piotr looks around the shack, stares out the window a moment, and says, "I think I've seen enough."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
GF: Are you seriously going to open the blinds n**...?
ME: yes, I feel like if people put enough effort to look through hundreds of hotel windows, then they deserve to get a prize.
GF: oh! like "You sir just earned yourself a wiener view"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man meets his new neighbor for the first time as his neighbor arrives home from work.
He says to the man "Hi, I'm Todd, your next door neighbor, nice to meet you. I just have one question for you, when is your birthday?" The neighbor asks "Why would you want to know that?" Todd replies "I want to buy you a pair of blinds for your window, because in the last week I've seen you having s**... with your wife every night!". The neighbor says "Well that's awfully nice of you, when's your birthday?" Todd says "Why would you want to know that for?" The neighbor says " Because for your birthday I'm going to buy you some binoculars, that way you can see who's wife it really is, because I'm not married..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At Saint Mary's Convent,....
... the Mother Superior is standing n**... in her room, having just stepped out of the shower.
There was a knock at the door and one of the Sisters said, "Mother Superior, there is a blind man here to see you and he's in rather a hurry".
The Mother Superior, not wanting to keep the unfortunate soul waiting decided there would be no harm in meeting a blind man whilst undressed.
"Send him in child", Mother Superior said, opening the door.
The blind man entered and staring at the n**... nun said, "I'm just here to measure the windows".
Fright Flight
After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the flight attendant announces over the intercom that, "We're just waiting for the pilots."
The passengers look out the windows, and see two men, dressed in pilot's uniforms, walking towards the plane.
Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind.
There are murmurs among the passengers, and some believe it is a joke.
The men board the plane and go into the cockpit.
More concerned murmurs and uneasy chuckles from the passengers.
The plane taxis normally to the runway and begins its takeoff.
As passengers look out the window, they realize they are nearing the end of the runway!!
The entire passenger cabin begins screaming, but the plane lifts off, just before the end of the runway.
The passengers calm down and chuckle to themselves, at this point believing that they fell for a joke.
In the cockpit, the pilot turns to his copilot and says, "You know, one day those people are gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die!"
Two pilots walk into their plane from the back...
They're wearing dark glasses and each of them has a white cane. They stumble down the aisle tapping their canes and eventually make it to the cockpit.
Naturally the passengers whom they've passed are a bit uneasy, but nobody says anything.
Within 15 minutes the plane begins to move.
The plane taxis down the runway gaining speed. However, they don't take off.
Passengers are looking out the window at the nearing end of the runway. As they get closer and closer one woman lets out a bloodcurling scream, prompting many others to do the same.
At that exact moment the plane takes off.
In the cockpit one of the blind pilots says to the other "one of these days they're not gonna scream..."
The great train of Communism grinds to a halt...
Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are riding on the great train of communism together when it suddenly grinds to a halt.
Stalin pokes his head out of the window and shouts, "Take the engineers behind the tool sheds and have them shot, then get new engineers!" But the train still does not move.
Khrushchev has a go at it next. "Pardon the engineers, retrain them, then put them back to work!" But still the train does not move.
Finally, after hours at complete standstill, Brezhnev turns to his fuming compatriots and says, "Gentlemen, let us simply close the blinds and pretend that we are moving!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Three Nuns
One day, three nuns decided to disobey their rules and walk around the convert n**.... Because the convert was visible from a road, they decided to close the blinds so no one would see them. The blinds were slightly broken so there was a single opening. the nuns decided to have one of the nuns keep watch while the other two went about their day. Later that day, a man started walking up the sidewalk to the convert. the nun on watched yelled to the others to hide. The man walked up to the window and called out to see if anyone was there. One of the nuns piped up and sayed she was, and asked what he needed. The man said that he was a blind man, looking for work. The nuns whispered to themselves, and agreed that since he was blind, they could let him in to help him. So the first nun opeded the door, still completely n**... along with the other two nuns. When the door opened, the man recoiled back in surprise. "why did you answer the door completely n**...?" he asked. Then nun was taken aback, " i thought you said you were blind!"
The man said "no, i am a BLINDS man, and i came to fix your blinds!"