Wind Up Jokes
32 wind up jokes and hilarious wind up puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wind up that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Wind Up Short Jokes
Short wind up jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wind up humour may include short wind jokes also.
- The inventor of the wind chill factor died this week. He was 86 but felt more like he was 64.
- Two wind turbines are talking to each other... One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?"
The other turbine replies, "Well...I'm a big metal fan." - Two wind turbines... Two wind turbines are in a field when one turns to the other:
He says: "What's your favourite type of music"
The second one says: "Actually I'm a huge metal fan" - A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine... The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan." - Two Wind turbines are in a field. One turns to the other and asks: " what is your type of music ?"
"i'm a huge metal fan" - What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window? Come back essay!
- Two wind turbines were talking One asked the other, "What's your favorite kind of music? "
The other replied, "Well I'm a big Metal Fan" - A man giving a long-winded speech finally says,…. "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."
A voice from the crowd says, "There's a calendar behind you." - Roger Waters nearly joined Earth, Wind & Fire. Earth & Wind were pleased but Fire was a bit put out.
- Whenever the wind gets bad... I think to myself, "It may be windy but at least its not sandy."
Share These Wind Up Jokes With Friends
Wind Up One Liners
Which wind up one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wind up? I can suggest the ones about rewind and breaking wind.
- What kind of music do wind turbines like? They're huge metal fans
- What is the colour of the Wind? Blew.
- I see, says the blind man peeing into the wind, it's all coming back to me now.
- Whats a wind turbines favourite colour? Blew!
- What kind of music do wind turbines like? They seem to be big heavy metal fans.
- With spring coming, I may buy some wind chimes. I hear it's a pretty sound investment.
- What is the color of the wind? Blew.
- I went to the Museum of Miniature Wind Turbines last night. Not a big fan.
- What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert? Darude Sandstorm.
- What's the main cause of emigration in Ethiopia? The wind
- What did the wind tunnel say to the aerospace engineer? I'm a big fan!
- What music do wind turbines like? They're big metal fans.
- What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
- I tossed a yield sign into a tornado once. Guess I was throwing caution to the wind.
- Hagrid spreading Dumbledore's ashes into the winds. "You're a blizzard Albus."
Laughable Wind Up Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about wind up you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean strap up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wind up pranks.
How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant?
Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper
A young man is out for his first date with an older lady...
It goes very well, and they wind up in the back seat of his car, messing around.
"Put a finger in me..." she whispers.
"Okay.."
"Now put two fingers in..."
"Okay..."
"Put *four* in, baby..."
"Alright..."
"Now put your whole hand in!"
"Urgggh...! Okay..."
"Oh, yes! Now put your other hand in!"
"Uhhhhhrrrrg! Whew! Done!"
"Now clap!"
"Rrrrggghhh!!! I... I can't!"
"Tight, eh!?"
What concerns me is that one day I'll wind up an old man
And then he'll attack me
I love sunny side up eggs. But no matter how far in advance I plan to make one...
...I always wind up scrambling at the last minute.
The inventor of the clockwork radio has died.
It's true, it's not a wind up!
My mates said they were going to get me a new digital clock for my birthday.
Turns out it was just a wind up.
Why did Hu wind up better-off than Yu?
Because Hu died and made Yu king.
You read about the boy born with no eyelids? They used his f**... to shape and graft eyelids his face.
They said he'd be alright until puberty, but may wind up a little c**...-eyed.
How does Zinc wind up Copper ?
It invites Oxygen round, always guarantees a reaction.
A friend bequeathed to me an antique watch
I really hope it's not a wind up.
It's always fun running into an old friend you haven't seen in a while.
But then you usually wind up regretting hitting them with a car.
Solar powered watch free to collector
This is not a wind up.
This joke was like "The Aristocrats" back in the day - question was how much you could elaborate it ...
Guy on a business trip gets to chatting with an attractive woman at the hotel bar and both of them being a little drunk, they wind up together in his bedroom.
So he's lying in bed watching her get ready, and first thing he sees is her take off her false eyelashes.
Then her false fingernails.
Then her wig.
Then her artificial arm.
Whereupon he says, "Hey honey - when you get to the part I want, throw it over here!"
Why did the family wind up in the Indian Ocean?
Turns out they were of Malaysian descent.
A Guy/Gal walks into a bar with an Ostrich/Race-horse
A good-looking young man (or woman) and an ostrich (or racehorse) walk into a bar. The two sit down, order some nachos and wind up drinking a few beers by the end of the night. When it comes time to pay the tab, the (wo)man reaches into his/her pocket and dumps a slightly-crumpled mess of bills and change onto the bar.
"That should cover it." (s)he says. As the (wo)man walks away, the bartender counts it out and to her surprise, it's the exact total of the bill. Looking back up, she sees that the (wo)man has returned. (S)He once again reaches into his/her pocket and pulls out exactly 20% of the bill before tax.
"There ya go, sorry about that." (s)he says.
The bartender asks, "Mind if I ask you about the exact change and the ostrich(horse)?
"You see," (s)he says, "A long time ago, I was an archaeologist. While in arabia, I discovered a magical lamp with a genie inside who granted me 3 wishes. The first, obviously, was for eternal youth and fitness. Second, unlimited wealth- any time I buy something, I just reach into my pocket and pull out the exact amount of money. The third, well, the third wish was for a tall, youthful, long-legged(well-endowed) chick(stud) who would always stick by my side and share my interests."
A guy is talking to two women in a bar...
A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turn out to be
conjoined twins and they wind up back at his apartment.
He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he asks her what she'd like to do.
She says, "Is that a t**... in the corner? I'd love to play your
t**...."
So she plays it while he screws her sister.
A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy's apartment
building.
One of the girls says, "Let's stop up and see that guy."
The other girl says, "I don't know...do you think he'd remember us?"
An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking.
They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment.
After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed.
Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling.
The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a v**..., I would have been more careful with her.”
The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my p**....”
