Wind Jokes
171 wind jokes and hilarious wind puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wind that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you love a good wind joke? Enjoy a breeze of laughter as you read these funny jokes about high winds, breaking winds, gusts, and gales. Be sure to look out for the special curvature of some jokes, which will bring a unique twist to your joke-telling experience.
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Funniest Wind Short Jokes
Short wind jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wind humour may include short wave jokes also.
- The inventor of the wind chill factor died this week. He was 86 but felt more like he was 64.
- Two wind turbines are talking to each other... One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?"
The other turbine replies, "Well...I'm a big metal fan." - A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine... The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan." - What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window? Come back essay!
- A man giving a long-winded speech finally says,…. "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."
A voice from the crowd says, "There's a calendar behind you." - Roger Waters nearly joined Earth, Wind & Fire. Earth & Wind were pleased but Fire was a bit put out.
- Whenever the wind gets bad... I think to myself, "It may be windy but at least its not sandy."
- What do you call a sweater that was blown away by the wind? A cardi-gone.
(yes, I made this one up this morning) - A wind turbine and an A/C unit walk into a bar The wind turbine asks: "Hey man! How's your job going?"
A/C unit: "ehh, it's cool but I'm not a huge fan." - Dropped $10 and the wind caught it, I had to chase it down the road.. I never caught it but I had a good run for my money.
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Wind One Liners
Which wind one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wind? I can suggest the ones about wand and storm.
- What kind of music do wind turbines like? They're huge metal fans
- What is the colour of the Wind? Blew.
- I see, says the blind man peeing into the wind, it's all coming back to me now.
- Whats a wind turbines favourite colour? Blew!
- With spring coming, I may buy some wind chimes. I hear it's a pretty sound investment.
- I went to the Museum of Miniature Wind Turbines last night. Not a big fan.
- What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert? Darude Sandstorm.
- What's the main cause of emigration in Ethiopia? The wind
- What did the wind tunnel say to the aerospace engineer? I'm a big fan!
- What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
- I tossed a yield sign into a tornado once. Guess I was throwing caution to the wind.
- Hagrid spreading Dumbledore's ashes into the winds. "You're a blizzard Albus."
- When im alone i like to pretend im a wind turbine. My wife hates it... But im a big fan.
- The wind whispered insults in my ear today It was really diss gusting
- I recently quit my job at a wind farm... It turns out i'm not a big fan
Wind Up Jokes
Here is a list of funny wind up jokes and even better wind up puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Finally made it to the court of the Crimson king Waste of time. All I did was talk to the wind
- What do Winds of Winter, Elder Scrolls 6, and Starfield all have in common? Bill Cosby was released before they were.
- Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering... Yes, I forgot our anniversary again.
- Why didn't the teacher break wind in front of other people? Because he was a private tooter
- Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds? I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.
- No wonder wind turbines are so popular these days... They have a huge fan base.
- Donald, we want to install turbines beside your golf courses to harness the incredible power of the wind! What do you think of these concept sketches? "Not a huge fan."
- I had to create a report on how wind energy is produced It was a breeze.
- I got fired from my last job for cropdusting customers. I guess management caught wind.
- What do you call iron blowing in the wind? Fe-breeze
Wind Blows Jokes
Here is a list of funny wind blows jokes and even better wind blows puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call an anime fan blowing in the wind? A tumble weeb
- Why is there gold blowing through the wind? Because it's August.
- Fun Fact: Spiders can tell the difference between someone blowing on their web and the wind. But that may just be because the wind isn't warm and sticky...
- An egg sits perfectly balanced on the apex of a roof, the wind blows south, which way does the egg fall? Down. The egg falls down.
- We are the sand. The wind will blow us. The ocean will beat us. Life is a beach.
- Did you guys hear the joke about wind? I hope you didn't. It really blows.
- 2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice It blows.
(Get well soon Carrie) - My wife is like a desert wind She rarely blows, but when she does it's dry.
- I'd make a wind pun But it blows..
- The ants are my friends They're blowing in the wind.
Wind Turbines Jokes
Here is a list of funny wind turbines jokes and even better wind turbines puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the wind turbine say when asked what they thought about sustainable energy? I'M A HUGE FAN!
- I recently paid a visit to the "World's Largest Wind Turbine" exhibit. Honestly, not a big fan.
- What did the wind turbine say to the deep hole which held water? "Well, I just want to say I'm a huge fan."
- I was invited to be a wind turbine but I turned it down because I'm not a big fan.
- Wind turbines... I'm a big fan.
- What did the sentient wind turbine say when he met his hero, the windmill? "I'm a big fan"
- What did the unimpressed wind turbine say? I'm not a fan.
- Two wind turbines are having a paddle 1: What's your thoughts on renewable energy?
2: I'm a big fan. - Two wind turbines are stood in a field. One wind turbine turns to the other. "Have you been watching the football recently?" asks the turbine.
"No," says the other. "I'm not really a big fan." - I'm not a big fan - A Wind Turbine
Gust Of Wind Jokes
Here is a list of funny gust of wind jokes and even better gust of wind puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a wind that never gusts? Disgusting.
I'll see myself out... - They say the golden wind comes in during this month... Au gust
- What do you call a gust of wind full of sand? A rough draft
- Did you hear about the guy who died in a light gust of wind? He was killed by debris
- What is the best way to stop a politician? A really strong gust of wind.
High Wind Jokes
Here is a list of funny high wind jokes and even better high wind puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a film about a female deer that's always causing dangerously high wind storms? TornaDOE
Fun-Filled Wind Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about wind you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wind pranks.
A weather report for you
I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
"Who was the Windows programmer's favorite hip-hop group?"
"Run-CMD"
(I came up with this one at work after repeatedly opening the command prompt. Not sure if it's been said before, but I hope you enjoy!)
The police vs the senior citizen
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp...h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper
Grandpa's Rocking Chair
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your goober is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.
The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy
who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France." The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."
take a hike.
a man is walking through the forest with a little girl when it starts getting dark. the wind starts whistling through the trees and the girl squeezes the mans hand and says "mister I'm getting scared!" the man replied "you're scared? I have to walk out of these woods alone!"
On the back of u/baldillin
A young Rabbi is a very avid golfer. He even goes out on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year to play some holes. On his last hole the wind carries the ball and he sinks an amazing hole in one.
In Heaven an angel complains to God, this Rabbi is playing golf on Yom Kippur and you give him a hole in one as punishment!?
Of course, God says, who can he tell?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A daughters asks her mother why her name is Rose
A daughter asks her mom, "Why is my name Rose?"
The Mom replies "because when you were born the wind blew a rose onto your head
The second daughter asks her mom, "Why is my name Lilly?"
The mom replies, "Because when you were born a Lilly fell on your head"
The Last daughter goes up to her mom and goes "Blaoddttuaiweeeioosnsns"
And her mom goes "Shut up Cinderblock"
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind....
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the m**...-pad say to the f**...?
"You are the wind beneath my wings."
Driving through a blizzard with my dad
At the peak of the snow and ice he got out of the car and put two frozen snakes on the windshield. I asked him what he supposed that would do to help and he said "what's wrong son, Never heard of wind chilled vipers?"
Why doesn't a window scream when you shatter it?
Because it's paneless.
What kind of cereal does Microsoft make?
Wind O's
Windows Vista
That is all.
How do you go from Windows 9 to windows 10
You have to get enough Windows XP.
Two windmills walk into a bar...
They had a good moment.
___________________________
Hopefully there's some engineering joke lovers out there :)
What do windows feel when they get hurt?
Pane!
How do windmills feel about renewable energy?
They're pretty big fans
Two inebriated men walk in to an upmarket restaurant and go straight to the only unoccupied table, yelling for service.
The head waiter hurries over asking Do you have reservations?
One of the men replies Sure, but when you're as hungry as we are, you throw caution to the wind.
Two scientists are trying to find the best source of energy.
They realise that no one has tried asking the energy sources what *they* think.
So they go to a coal-fired power station, and they ask the coal, "What do you think of coal power?"
The coal says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists write this down.
Then they go to an oil-fired power station. They ask the oil, "What do you think of oil power?"
The oil says, "Well, I don't really like it, because they set me on fire, and it hurts." The scientists nod and write it down.
Then they go to a wind farm. They ask a wind turbine, "What do you think of wind power?"
The wind turbine just stands there and says, "I'm a huge fan."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black man meets a white girl in a club.
They go back to the girls house and start making out. The girl says seductively "show me that its true what they say about Black Guys". The man then precedes to stab the girl take her purse and run off faster then the wind.
Why did the window blush?
Because it could see the weather changing.
A windmill asked me for an autograph...
I said "You must be a big fan"
What color is the wind joke
Son: "What color is the wind?"
Mom: "The wind is the wind, it had no color. It's transparent"
Dad: "The wind is blue"
Mom: "Blue? How so?"
Dad: "Because the wind blew"
What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer?
A co-operating system.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between origami and a grandpa passing wind?
One is the art of the fold, the other, the f**... of the old.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wrote a book about a man that chokes to death on his own f**....
I've called it: "Gone With The Wind".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was an old professor who started every class with a v**... joke.
After one particularly n**... example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.
The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of w**... in India?
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
Wait, ladies, cried the professor, The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!
Windows 10 users won't get this.
Privacy.
I really like windmills
big fan
Two windmills are in a field.
One turns to the other and asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
"I'm a big metal fan" the other one replies.
What do you think of wind and solar energy?
I am a big fan, I believe they have a bright future.
What did the window washer say to the window?
I feel your pane
Women are like the wind
Sometimes you just get blown and it feels great. Other times things get rough and you lose your house.
The perfect shot.
A golfer stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity to his partner. He looks up, looks down, measures the distance and figures the wind direction and speed. The longer he takes, the more his partner fidgets. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man," the partner says. "You'll never hit her from here."
A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows
Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.
2 windmills next to each other in a field, one goes "what kind of music do you like?" ...
The other goes "I'm a big metal fan"
Why does a window hurt more than a table?
The window is double pane
A nice clean jewish joke
The young rabbi was an avid golfer. Even on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year, he snuck out by himself for a quick nine holes.
On the last hole he teed off, and a gust of wind carried his ball directly over the hole and dropped it in for a hole in one.
An angel who witnessed this miracle complained to God, This guy is playing golf on Yom Kippur, and you cause him to get a hole in one? This is a punishment?
Of course it is, said the Lord, smiling. Who can he tell?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My window cleaner caught me m**... today. It was awkward.
Maybe I shouldn't have been standing in his garden.
You wanted to know if the ship was moving, or if it was just wind
weather or knot, it mattered.
A woman gets on a double decker bus.
She steps onto the bus and begins her ascent to the upper deck and a hefty gust of wind comes in and blows her dress up.
The bus driver, looking up the steps at her says but airy up there ma'am
To which she replies, what'd you expect, feathers?
What's the difference between fruit flies and time?
Fruit flies like bananas, but time flies like the wind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A window pops out of a skyscraper and falls on a guy, completely slicing off the entire left side of his body.
He's alright now.
A broken English speaker told a joke to a boy.
The broken English speaker, a man, told the boy a joke about a sword-fighting pirate that desperately hated the wind.
However, the boy, being so young, missed the joke.
No, no, no, said the man. Arr slash whoosh.
How do the Taliban power their aircraft?
Wind Turbans
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare to come in
What did Windows XP said in its end of support?
Hasta La Vista
There was a tornado, so I tossed a 'Wet Floor' sign out the front door.
Talk about throwing caution to the wind!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My 80yr old grandmother had her n**... pierced the other day...
now every time the wind blows she sounds like a couple of wind chimes!
What concerns me is that one day I'll wind up an old man
And then he'll attack me
