wind Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious wind puns

An Arab boy is speaking with his father.

Father, why do we wear these shawls on our head?

To keep the harsh sun off our scalp He answers.

What about these long robes father?

To protect us from the blistering wind that carries stinging sand. Father says patiently.

And our sandals?

To shield our feet from the searing rocks of course.

Then why the fuck do we live in England, father?

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What kind of music do wind turbines like?

They're huge metal fans

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I saw this ad in a window that said: "TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full!"

I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

After getting the windows on my car tinted black, I showed it to my wife.

She said, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that thing!"

I said, "That's the point."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Two wind turbines are talking to each other...

One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?"

The other turbine replies, "Well...I'm a big metal fan."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Two wind turbines...

Two wind turbines are in a field when one turns to the other:

He says: "What's your favourite type of music"
The second one says: "Actually I'm a huge metal fan"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Two windmills are sitting on a hill. One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?"

The other windmill replies "I'm a big metal fan."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What do womens' breasts & toy trains have in common?

There're intended for children, but it's the fathers that wind up playing with them.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

So I saw my ex-wife with her new lover and decided to wind him up so I shouted over How's the second-hand pussy?

Quick as a flash that bastard replied Great! After the first three inches, it's like brand new.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.

After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.

The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

Wait, ladies, cried the professor, The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine...

The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What kind of music do wind turbines listen to?

They're huge metal fans.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Two Wind turbines are in a field.

One turns to the other and asks: " what is your type of music ?"

"i'm a huge metal fan"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Physicist, Engineer and Statistician are out bow-hunting.

They see a stag about a hundred feet away. The Physicist takes a shot, but he forgets to allow for wind resistance and the arrow falls five feet short. The Engineer takes his shot, but he adds too much of a fudge factor and the arrow's five feet too far.

The statistician goes "Nice job guys, we got him!"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A weather report for you

I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I saw my ex-wife with her new lover and decided to wind him up, so I shouted…

"How's the second-hand pussy?!"

Quick as a flash, he replied, "Great! After the first three inches, it's like brand new!"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What is the colour of the Wind?

Blew.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

An economist, a chaos theorist, and a statistician are trying to shoot a deer for dinner with a bow and arrow...

The economist assumes no wind, and misses five feet to the left. He hands over the bow to the chaos theorist, who overestimates the effect of the wind, and misses five feet to the right. The statistician pumps his fist in the air and exclaims: "We got him!".

πŸ‘πŸΌ

My window cleaner caught me masturbating today. It was awkward.

Maybe I shouldn't have been standing in his garden.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterwards.

Not this year though, I'm quitting cold turkey.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Anyone else experiencing bad weather?

Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Northern tip of Connecticut. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the North wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Two windmills were hanging out in a field. One windmill asked the other, what type of music do you like?

The other responded, I'm a huge metal fan.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window?

Come back essay!

πŸ‘πŸΌ

A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity...

He looks up then down, measuring the distance, then tries to figure out the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the damn ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man," says his partner. "You'll never hit her from here."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Two windmills are in a wind farm.

One turns to the other and asks, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other says, "I'm a huge metal fan."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

One windmill asked another what kind of music it likes

The other windmill responded "I'm a big metal fan"

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Grandpa's Rocking Chair

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your goober is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.
The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

So they can watch the battle

πŸ‘πŸΌ

*Pollen accidentally enters body*

Immune system: What the hell is that?

Pollen: Oh hey. Sorry. We got a bit lost. The wind kinda bl-

Immune system: OH GOD WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!

Pollen: What?! No! We just got lo-

Immune system: OPEN THE FLOODGATES!

Pollen: The what?

Mucus membranes: Sir. All the floodgates?

Immune system: ALL OF THEM!

Pollen: Wait. Wait. You don't... Oh shi-

[Dramatic music]

Me: *sneezes*

πŸ‘πŸΌ

The perfect shot.

A golfer stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity to his partner. He looks up, looks down, measures the distance and figures the wind direction and speed. The longer he takes, the more his partner fidgets. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man," the partner says. "You'll never hit her from here."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

PERFECT TEE SHOT

A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the damn ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man," says his partner. "You'll never hit her from here."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

I really like windmills

big fan

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Superman is flying around the world when he sees WonderWoman tanning on the beach....

He notices that she's naked and spread eagle and has a thought.

Superman: I bet I could fly down there and have sex with her and fly away before she even knew it.
So like a depraved bastard he does exactly that and hears a conversation as he flies away.

Wonderwoman: Did you feel that strong gust of wind just now?

Invisible Man: Yeah, and on top of that my ass is killing me.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What kind of music do wind turbines like?

They seem to be big heavy metal fans.

πŸ‘πŸΌ

Sea captain joke

A young sailor is walking the
docks and spots a sea captain, examining his deck. The sea captain has a peg leg, a hook and an eyepatch. The young sailor, curious, asks the captain "How did you get your peg leg?" The captain replies "Arrr it was a stormy night, and a gust of wind blew me of me boat. In the water a shark bit off me leg." The sailor then asks "How did you get the hook?" To which the captain replies "I was in a fierce sword fight with another bucanneer and the bastard cut off me hand." "Wow you are brave sea aged captain, but how did you get the eyepatch?" "Arrrgh a damned seagull pooped in me eye." "Why didn't you wipe it out?" "Twas me first day with the hook."

πŸ‘πŸΌ

What are the most funny Wind jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Wind? Well, here are the best Wind dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Wind pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes