Willis Jokes
69 willis jokes and hilarious willis puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about willis that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out the latest collection of humorous jokes from Willis-type characters like Crockett from Inlaws. Enjoy an entertaining laugh as you read through jokes about corn and other hilarious topics!
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Funniest Willis Short Jokes
Short willis jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The willis humour may include short corn jokes also.
- My wife said she would leave me if I don't stop comparing everything to Bruce Willis movies, but you know what they say about old habits... They Pulp Fiction.
- Why girls don't have willys Little brother came into the kitchen and declared "mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow"
- Apparently Bruce Willis is only going to concentrate on action films from now on... because you know what they say about old habits...
- Why don't girls have willys... A little boy came running into the kitchen an declared, "Mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow."
- Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same roles. You know what they say about old habits.
- Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films Because you know what they say about old habits...
- I have an addiction to making references to random Bruce Willis movie titles. People have tried to help me stop but you know what they say. Old habits... Pulp Fiction
- Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies forever. You know what they say about old habits.
- Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row? He was a Die Hard fan.
- I would define my looks as a Victorian Childcatcher. Or an S&M Willy Wonka who likes to use a riding crop on his own leg in his spare time.
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Willis One Liners
Which willis one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with willis? I can suggest the ones about bruce willis and wagon.
- Right, who was the most famous person in here until I arrived?
- What do you call a Christmas tree that only appears in action movies? Spruce Willis.
- Why did Bruce Willis die with a smile on his face? Because he died hard.
- How much tax does Bruce Willis pay on a dollar? Six cents.
- Why does Bruce Willis keep making action movies? Because his old habits, die hard.
- What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue? [OC] Icy dead people!
- I'm a die hard Bruce Willis fan.
- What title would a hurricane movie with Bruce Willis have? Irmageddon.
- What do you call a man with no will to live? Willis.
- What do you call Bruce Willis on his best behaviour? Good habits die hard
- Why wasn't Bruce Willis cast in Titanic? Because he would've saved everyone
- What did Bruce Willis say to the waiter once his family was done eating Bruce Billus
- Why Bruce Willis didn't star in the Titanic? Cuz he would have saved her
- Why didn't Bruce Willis star in the movie "Titanic"? Because he would've saved everybody.
- Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
Bruce Willis Jokes
Here is a list of funny bruce willis jokes and even better bruce willis puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife got mad at me for my long-term addiction to watching Bruce Willis movies. I told her old habits die hard
- I'm a huge fan of ALL of Bruce Willis's work. I've seen every movie he's in. I guess you can say.. I'm a Die Hard fan.
- Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel. Old Hobbits Die Hard.
- Did you hear that Bruce Willis is going to star in a movie where he goes undercover as an elderly nun? It's called Old Habits Die Hard
- Who should have played Bilbo? Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.
- Bruce Willis and Liam Neeson have signed up to do a movie together It's called 'Taken Hard'
- I really love Bruce Willis. I have all of his movies, hundreds of posters, and multiple autographs You might say that I'm a die-hard fan
- I used to watch lots of Bruce Willis movies, but now I don't. I guess old habits Die Hard.
^Someone ^please ^slap ^me.
^ - It turns out Fire! isn't the worst thing you can yell out in a crowded movie theater. It's Bruce Willis is dead!
- My father has always been obsessed with Bruce Willis movies ... I guess he was a die-hard fan ...
Amusing Willis Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about willis you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hearty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make willis pranks.
BREAKING NEWS: Bruce Willis had a fatal heart attack while he was having s**......
He is said to have died hard
Bruce Willis, arnold schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party
and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".
A caring son
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "
"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "
"Under the wagon. "
Bruce Willis died having s**....
He died hard.
Why did the nun refuse to stop donating clothes or watching Bruce Willis movies?
Old habits die hard.
A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg
Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...
Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'
Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'
Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'
Bruce Willis...
Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies. Because, you know what they say about old habits...
I got a new spoiler on my car.
Just a long sticker that says "Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time!"
Did you hear about the new Die Hard where Willis Infiltrates a Corrupt Nunnery?
"*Bad Habits Die Hard.*"
I once met Bruce Willis
I once met Bruce Willis at a fancy dress party. He was wearing a really shabby looking nun outfit. I was told that he'd worn the same costume to every fancy dress party he'd attended for years. I suppose old habits die hard.
Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all auditioning for a film about composers...
Bruce Willis says "I'll be Mozart", Chuck Norris says "I'll be Beethoven" and Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach".
What does Bruce Willis say when he finds the zip ties?
Zippy tie-yay motherf***er.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Cruise, and Bruce Willis said they wanted to star in a movie about classical musicians.
Bruce Willis said I'll play Mozart!
Tom Cruise said I'll play Beethoven!
Arnold said I'll be Bach
Hollywood Halloween
Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone were discussing their next Halloween costumes. They wanted to get away from the typical scary characters and do something different.
Bruce: 'how about historical figures? I'll go as Freud.'
Sly: 'ok, sounds good. I'll go as Leonardo Da Vinci.'
Arnold Schwarzenegger overhears their discussion, walks over and replies 'I'll be Bach.'
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster:
The Great Composers!
"I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone.
"I gotta be Mozart," retorted Willis.
"What about you, Arnie?" they asked....
Did you hear about the new Bruce Willis movie?
Bruce Willis has to go undercover in a retirement home for nuns to stop a t**... plot.
It's called "Old Habits Die Hard".
What does Bruce Willis, a donkey with sunglasses on, and my ex have in common?
They're all bad a**....
Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger are talking about making a new film together.
Sly: I wanna show the world that we're more than just action movie stars. I wanna make a movie about classical music and classical composers. I know you guys love that stuff too. What do you think? Will you help me make a movie about it and show the world how cultured we are?
Bruce: I could play Beethoven. I've always wanted to play a tortured genius
Sly: You would be great. And I'll be Tchaikovsky. What about you Arnie?
Arnie: I'll be Bach
