The Best 32 Willie Nelson Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Willie Nelson jokes. There are some willie nelson jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these willie nelson puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Willie Nelson Jokes and Puns

Tatoos of Elvis

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.

The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"

The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".

The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.

The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."

The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"

The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely Willie Nelson."

Did you hear the one about the dad who told his son that if he didn't stop masturbating he would go blind?

The son said, "Dad! I'm over here!"

(Willie Nelson gets credit for this one, and you absolutely give a man like Willie credit.)

What's the worst thing you can hear while sucking off Willie Nelson?

*"I'm not Willie Nelson".*

Did you hear that Willie Nelson got hit by a car

Yeah he was playing on the road again

What's the worst thing a woman can hear after blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.


What don't you want to hear after performing oral sex on Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.

I guess Willie Nelson died

He was hit by a truck. He was playing on the road again.

What's the last thing a woman wants to hear while blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not really Willie Nelson.

What's 50 feet long and has 37 teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert

What gets higher with age?

Willie Nelson

You can explore willie nelson reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean willie nelson dad jokes. There are also willie nelson puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you hear beloved singer songwriter Willie Nelson died today?

He was playing on the road again.

What is the last thing you want to hear when blowing Willie Nelson?

What is the last thing you want to hear when blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

The worst thing you could hear after orally pleasing Willie Nelson.

I'm not Willie Nelson.

What's the worst thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

What's the last thing you wanna hear after having sex with Willie Nelson?

"I'm not Willie Nelson."

What's the worst thing Willie Nelson can tell you while giving you a handjob?

I'm not Willie Nelson

Willie Nelson is doing a concert for Beto O'Rourke

Some fans are burning their marijuana in protest.

What's the worst thing you can hear when you're going down on Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.


Willie Nelson died today..

Yeah he was playing on the road again..

What's worse than giving Willie Nelson a blow job?

Finding out it's not Willie Nelson

How is Willie Nelson like Spider-Man?

They both love Mary Jane

What's the worst thing Willie Nelson can say to you after you give him a blow job?

"I'm not Willie Nelson..."

What's the last thing you wanna hear while you're blowing Willie Nelson?

"I'm not really Willie Nelson"

What's the worst thing you could hear while giving Willie Nelson a BJ?

What's the worst thing you can hear after having sex with Willie Nelson?

That isn't Willie Nelson.

Went hunting with Willie Nelson and we each got a turkey.

Now that's what I call killing 2 birds with one stoner.

What has one thousand legs and only two front teeth?

Front row at a Willie Nelson concert

Did You Know Willie Nelson Just Died?

He was playing On The Road Again.

What are the four words that you least want to hear, after having blown Willie Nelson?

"I'm not Willie Nelson."

What's the worst thing Willie Nelson could say while you're blowing him?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

Whats the last think you want to hear from Willie Nelson after giving him a blow job?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the willie nelson jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working willie nelson piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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