Wild West Jokes
23 wild west jokes and hilarious wild west puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wild west that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Wild West Short Jokes
Short wild west jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wild west humour may include short old west jokes also.
- I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West... ...could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
- A Three legged dog walks into the old wild west saloon He says to the bartender, "I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."
- Did you hear about the infamous bank robbers in the old wild west? One of them married the other one's sister. They were both outlaws and in-laws.
- Two cowboys facing each other: - I have the fastest hand in the whole Wild West!
- I have a girlfriend! - An outlaw walks into a saloon in the old wild West, wearing a candy bar for a hat. Says the bartender, "Is that an Almond Joy on your head?"
Quoth he, "No, it's a Bounty." - Hi, my name is Joe and im from West Virginia. Im very happy to say I FINALLY got a girlfriend... Boy, that family reunion was wild
- Typical Kanye West If Kanye West would become a president wouldn't we all be living in Wild West?
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Wild West One Liners
Which wild west one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wild west? I can suggest the ones about country western and old cowboy.
- What was King Tut known as in the wild west? Rootin' Tutankhamun
- What do you call a group of platypus in the Wild West? A plata-posse
- What do you call an Imperial Blaster in the Wild West? A sith shooter
- Snoop dogg went to the wild west. He came across some tumbleweed.
- Why did the hen win a Wild West duel between it and a Peacock? Hen shot first.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Wild West Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about wild west you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cowboy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wild west pranks.
It's nice to see that celebrities have taken up book writing during the pandemic
One Direction by Kanye West
Guitars by Mel Gibson
Mining by Brad Pitt
Pear Cider by Katy Perry
Ship Building by Tom Cruise
How to Move Things by Jim Carrey
Escape from Prison by Morgan Freeman
American Motors by Harrison Ford
Wild Animals by Will Ferrell
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two blondes are sitting on a couch and are watching a movie about the wild-west....
.... The first blonde says: "I bet you 50 bucks that the cowboy is not going to walk into the trap." The second blonde agrees.
After a few seconds the cowboy walks into the trap and dies. The second blonde says: "You can keep your money, I already watched the movie and know that he was going to walk into the trap."The first blonde replies: "Me too, I just didn't think the cowboy would be that s**... to walk into it again...."
Three strikes
Wild west. Newlyweds are on their way from the church in their carriage when the horse trips.
‒ "One", counts the husband, to the bewildered glance from his new wife, and they keep going.
Shortly, the horse trips again.
‒ "Two", counts the man, again receiving a puzzled look from his woman.
A little while later the horse trips for a third time.
‒ "Three!", proclaims the man, jumps off the carriage, walks over to the horse and shoots it dead.
The wife, shocked and appalled, runs up to the man and starts shouting at him:
‒ What *are* you doing!? You can't just get rid off something because it has made three mistakes, you can't apply a three-strike rule to everything you have in your life!!
The husband, calmly, looks at his wife and says:
‒ "One"...
The Lone Ranger
Once, in the Wild, Wild West, the lone ranger was captured by an Indian tribe. The Chief of the tribe says, "I have heard of you, Lone Ranger. If you can impress me enough within three days, I will let you go free."
So, the Lone Ranger thinks hard for a few minutes and says, "May I have a minute alone with my horse?"
The Chief obliges him, and not 30 seconds later, the horse gallops out of the tent and runs away. The Chief is puzzled, but the Lone Ranger seems satisfied nonetheless. A few hours pass, but then the Lone Ranger's horse returns with an absolutely beautiful blonde girl, with whom the Lone Ranger spends the night.
The Chief is absolutely amazed, but not enough so to let the Lone Ranger go. So, the Lone Ranger asks to, again, hold council with his horse. And again, the horse gallops away, returning later with a redhead even more beautiful than the previous lady.
The next day, the Chief tells the Lone Ranger, although he is impressed, he is not going to let him go. So, the Lone Ranger asks to be left alone with his horse. After the tribe vacated the room, he whispers into the horse's ear very succinctly,
"Bring. Posse."
There were two sisters...
Once upon a time, in the wild, wild West there were two sisters, Jill and Susie. A relative of theirs dies and leaves the two sisters a ranch. The ranch was run down and they had little else to their name besides the ranch so they thought they'd invest what they had left into a stud bull to mate with their cows.
They found an ad in the paper for a healthy bull for sale for $500 and decided Jill would go down and see if the bull would be suitable and Susie would stay back and manage the ranch. If Jill decided the bull was fine she would send a telegraph back home to have Susie come down and help bring the bull back up.
Jill travels out to look at the bull and decides that it is worth the money. She pays the $500 and goes to the telegraph office to send word to her sister. She told the operator she'd like to send a message to her sister that the bull was fine and that she should come down to help bring it back to the ranch.
The operator told her it would cost $1 per word. All Jill had left after buying the bull was $1 and she thought long and hard about the message she could send. Finally, she told the operator to send the word "comfortable." The operator shook his head and said, "I don't get it, why the word comfortable?" Jill said, my sister is blonde, she'll look at the word and read it slow. COM-FOR-DA-BULL.
the greenhorn
A greenhorn comes from back east to try his hand at prospecting. He buys his gear and heads off into the hills. He has a couple of lonely weeks, with a little bit of success finding gold.
He's sitting by his campfire one evening when this crusty old prospector shows up and says "Howdy there, neighbor. My spot's just over the hill there. I wanted to invite you a party."
Greenhorn: "That sounds wonderful! I haven't seen a soul in weeks!"
Prospector: "I got to warn ya though...there's likely to be some dancin'!"
Greenhorn: "I love to trip the light fantastic! I'll bring my dancing shoes."
Prospector: "I got to warn ya...there'll be drinkin'!"
Greenhorn: "Oh, don't worry, I can hold my liquor."
Prospector: "There's likely to be some fiightin'."
Greenhorn: "I'm not inexperienced when it comes to fisticuffs!"
Prospector: "There'll be ... fornication."
Greenhorn: "Well...it is the Wild West...and I have not seen a lady in quite some time."
The prospector nods gruffly to himself and begins to leave. The greenhorn says, "Say, what should I wear to this soiree?"
The prospector pauses and says, "Oh, any old thing...it'll just be you and me."