Wild Jokes
138 wild jokes and hilarious wild puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wild that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Feel like tickling your funny bone? Get ready to laugh it out with these wildly hilarious jokes! This article showcases a unique selection of Minnesota Wild, Into the Wild, Wild 'N Out, boar, raincoat, and penfish jokes. Whether you're looking for a good chuckle or to brighten someone else's day, these jokes are sure to do the trick.
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Funniest Wild Short Jokes
Short wild jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wild humour may include short angered jokes also.
- How is hurricane Florence like my ex wife? They start off wet and wild but in the end, they take your house.
- I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West... ...could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
- Thank God we don't need to hunt for food anymore I mean, I have no idea where pizzas live in the wild
- The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was originally intended to be for Wii U But mid-way through development they made the switch.
- A Three legged dog walks into the old wild west saloon He says to the bartender, "I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."
- Why are hurricanes named with female names? Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them.
- Why are most hurricanes named after a woman? When they come, they come wet and wild. When they leave they take your house and your car!
- Why do they name all hurricanes after women? Because when they arrive they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car
- The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild, Except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
- What do women and hurricanes have in common? When they come, they're wet and wild. When they leave, they take your house and your car
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Wild One Liners
Which wild one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wild? I can suggest the ones about wolf and woods.
- What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild? A $100 bill.
- It's sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs
- How long could a Kardashian survive in the wild? Forever. Plastic is not biodegradable.
- Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears? A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
- I'm like a wild animal in bed. More afraid of you than you are of me.
- "What would you do if you came across a puma in the wild?" Try not to puma pants
- New Years celebrations are pretty wild But Chinese New Year is its own animal
- What's 6 in long, 2 in wide and drives women wild? $100
- I got really sick from eating a big, wild animal last week. It was a moose steak.
- There's going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight. … The parents aren't home.
- It turns out that 60's rocker Steppenwolf was an assumed name. He was born Toby Wild.
- I like my women like I like my rice Brown and wild
- What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson? I'm BONE to be wild!
- Reincarnation is really a thing. I used to be a wild dog but now I'm a massive boar.
- How come Link never brushes his teeth? He wants breath of the wild.
Into The Wild Jokes
Here is a list of funny into the wild jokes and even better into the wild puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Dr. Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition... It seems he wildly misunderstood the rules.
- What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar? Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.
- My wife and I think about wild cats all the time. But I don't think they think about ocelot.
- Hurricanes Are Like Women When they come they're wet and wild, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
- You know, I think it's your turn to pick wild mushrooms. My girlfriend said. So I gather.
- A man walks into a movie theatre and sees a pig Disgusted by the wild boar , the man asks : why is there a pig in this movie theatre?
The pig turns around- I liked the book - You need a girlfriend who is caring, wild and funny... .. and make sure the three of them never meet.
- Why do hurricanes have girl names? First they are all wild and wet, then they take your house.
- That "Born to Be Wild" song is actually pretty scary. Especially the part where they find a head out on the highway.
- At a gender reveal party, a box is lifted to reveal a glass of water. The crowd goes wild and break
into a thunderous applause.
The gender is fluid.
Wild West Jokes
Here is a list of funny wild west jokes and even better wild west puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the infamous bank robbers in the old wild west? One of them married the other one's sister. They were both outlaws and in-laws.
- I think a lot of the conflict that happened in the Wild West could've been avoided. had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
- Two cowboys facing each other: - I have the fastest hand in the whole Wild West!
- I have a girlfriend! - What was King Tut known as in the wild west? Rootin' Tutankhamun
- A 3 legged dog walks into a saloon in the wild west He slides up to the bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
- What do you call a group of platypus in the Wild West? A plata-posse
- In the Wild West, a young dog with three legs walks into a bar He quietly tells the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
- "Saint"? You had one job, Kardashian-West family. Go make another kid, and this time name it Wild Wild.
- An outlaw walks into a saloon in the old wild West, wearing a candy bar for a hat. Says the bartender, "Is that an Almond Joy on your head?"
Quoth he, "No, it's a Bounty." - Hi, my name is Joe and im from West Virginia. Im very happy to say I FINALLY got a girlfriend... Boy, that family reunion was wild
Wild Animal Jokes
Here is a list of funny wild animal jokes and even better wild animal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was going to tell you a joke... but a wild animal just walked into my room. Please, bear with me.
- Poaching defenseless, innocent wild animals is just plain wrong They're much better roasted.
- I went to the zoo to see some wild animals, however they had only one animal It was a shitzu.
- Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?"
Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves." - Irish animal rights activists have broken into a turkey farm. They say they are going to release thousands of turkeys into the wild...
as soon as they've defrosted - Things are so bad in Venezuela that people are eating zoo animals. The only restaurant still open is Buffalo Wild Things.
- What is a two-piece bath suit with wild animals motive? Zoo-Chini
- I feel sorry for wild animals because it's like they're always camping without beer.
- On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
- I have won voucher for wild animal tracking course. I'v lost it.
Wild Boar Jokes
Here is a list of funny wild boar jokes and even better wild boar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Now that the Wild Boars are all safe... ...Thailand maintains its reputation of happy endings.
- I came up with this joke about wild pigs but... It boars everyone I tell so I'm keeping to myself...
- Wild boar are like pigs... They just party harder
- Where do wild boars like to go on holiday? Tusk-any
Wild Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about wild you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grown jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wild pranks.
I find it wild that people would use cleaning products on their skeletons.
But to bleach their bone, I guess.
It was at the end of the school year,
and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "
That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"
Dirty old man
An old man was sitting on a bench when a teenager with a rainbow mohawk walked by. The old man stared at him. Seeing him star, the teenager said "What's the matter old-timer, never done anything crazy in your life?" The old man replied "Many years ago, I got drunk at a wild party and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering whether you were my son."
Wild little old ladies.
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds..
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car..
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it?
'Heavens no, we bought it.'
'Then why don't you drive it away.'
We can't drive.'
Then why did you buy it?'
'We were told that if we bought a Used car here
we'd get s**... ....so we're just waiting.
Why were hurricanes and tropical storms originally always given women's names?
Because when they first come along it's all wet and wild with lots of suckin and blowin, but by the time it's over and they leave - your house is gone, your boat's gone, your truck's gone...
If you have never seen Man Vs Wild,
then u**... for a treat.
A black boy asks his white parents
"Daddy why are your and mommy's faces so bright if mine is so dark?" says the kid. The dad looks at him and goes: "Jimmy the party was so wild you should be happy you're not barking now".
There are 3 men stranded in the wild...
and one day they see an abandoned house and go inside. When they go inside however, they realized that there's only one bed. The floor was filthy, so they had no choice but to sleep on the same bed. The next morning, the two men sleeping on each side of the bed awoke and started to notice an acute pain coming from their privates. The man in the middle however, told them he had an intense and wonderful dream about skiing.
Why did the thoroughbred break up with the wild horse?
Because she was looking for a stable relationship.
Three guys in a bed....
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a h**...!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
Three old ladies are sitting on a bench in the park...
When a wild f**... appears and opens up his trench coat to reveal his nakedness, the first old last has a s**..., the second old lady has a s**..., the third old lady couldn't reach.
Pilot Choice
As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.
All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.
"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose."
A husband and wife went on a road trip.
They were driving by some plains when they sighted some wild pigs. The wife jokingly asked her husband," Are those relatives of yours?" Too which the husband replies," Yup! Those are my in-laws!"
A boy asks his mom: "Why is my skin so much darker than yours and Dad's?"
... she says: "That was a pretty wild o**..., be glad you don't bark"
The Pope and Hillary Clinton
The Pope and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Hillary and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in the crowd go wild with joy? The joy will not be a momentary display , but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice."
Hillary replied, "I seriously doubt that with one little wave of your hand that is possible; show me."
His Holiness then backhanded Hillary and knocked her off the stage! The crowd roared and cheered wildly and there was happiness throughout the land.
Stages of man's sexuality [OC]
1. Puberty: m**... in secrecy and shame.
2. Early adulthood: comfortable m**... in your room and some casual s**... with strangers.
3. First serious relationship: wild s**... all the time.
4. First years of marriage: steady and regular s**....
5. Marriage after children: m**... in secrecy and shame.
Stats show the average person has s**... 89 times per year
Looks like I'm in store for a wild December
My 8 year old son made me laugh with a dad joke...
We were trying to decide where to eat, I offered up Buffalo Wild Wings, but my son and daughter were being indecisive. I finally said ok guys, make up your mind My son replied with a c**... grin "C'mon Mom we'll just wing it"...he then burst into laughter for five minutes....his fathers humor is really rubbing off on him.
Hillary is talking to The Pope, and he says...
"With but one wave of my hand, I can make these people feel joy. Joy that nothing else in the world can bring. And it will be an eternal, everlasting joy."
Hillary says "I'll believe that when I see it."
And so, the Pope raises his hand into the air, and slaps her across the face, and the crowd goes wild.
There's a central african tribe of pygmy called the ''Fakawi'.
But how did they get this name?..
Their habitat in the jungle is covered with wild grass which is 4 feet high but the pygmies are only 3 feet tall...
Every so often they could be seen jumping up shouting...
''Where the Fakawi?''
An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him.
He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared.
Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.
A hurricane is like a woman.
When they come, they are wet, crazy, and wild. But when they leave, they take your house and your car.
A man moves to a new neighborhood
After a few days his neighbor knocks on his door
"I'm having a party tonight" says the neighbor "you should come over. But I should let you know, my parties tend to get pretty wild. There will be a lot of drinking, probably some fighting, and some really crazy s**...."
"Sounds like fun" responds the man. "Should I bring anything?" he asks.
"That shouldn't be necessary" the neighbor says. "It will just be the two of us".
There are three species of hyena in the wild
But every time one is seen they become a spotted hyena
How to drive your wife wild in the bedroom.
Leave all of the dresser drawer slightly ajar with a little piece of clothing sticking out.
Little Johnny walks in on his parents having s**... and asks, "What are you doing?"
His father says, "We're playing cards, and your mother is my wild card."
A week later, Little Johnny walks in on his father m**.... He asks, "What are you doing?"
His father says, "I'm playing cards."
"Where's your wild card?" Johnny asks.
His father replies, "Son, you don't need one when you've got a good hand."
When it comes to s**... I'm a wild animal...
More scared of you than you are of me
Two couples are getting bored with their s**... lives, so they decide to swap partners
After a night of wild passionate s**..., Mike wakes up, rolls over, kisses his new lover, and says, "Last night was absolutely mind-blowing! Come on. Let's go see how the ladies made out."
Anthony arrived home from work one day, only to find his wife totally stressed out because their kids had been running wild all day...
She asks him if he would please take them out for a pizza.
He agrees, tells the kids to go out to the garage and to wait in the car, following behind them.
A few moments later, the wife hears two loud bangs.
Tony comes back into the house and asks, "Where's my pizza?"
TIL
There's a central african tribe of pygmy called the ''Fakawi'.
But how did they get this name?..
Their habitat in the jungle is covered with wild grass which is 4 feet high but the pygmies are only 3 feet tall...
Every so often they could be seen jumping up shouting...
''Where the Fakawi?''
A Kiwi and an Aussie are fishing one afternoon and have a couple of cold beers
After a while the Kiwi says to the Aussie, "If I was to sneak over to your house and make wild passionate love to your wife while you were at work, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?" The Aussie after a great deal of thought, says, "I don't know about related, but it sure would make us even."
In honor of international women's day....
Why are women like a hurricane?
at first they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house.
A Child walks in on his parents...
He says "Mom, Dad what are you doing?"
The Dad replies "I'm playing poker and your mom is the wild card"
1 week later He walks in on his grandparents
He says "Grandpa, Grandma what are you doing?"
The Grandpa says "I'm playing poker and your grandma is the wild card"
Another week passes and the dad walks in on his son m**...
The Dad says "Son don't you need a wild card for that?
The Son says "Not as long as you have a good hand
There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.
They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.
The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting went, found some girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two and I buck one and Tim buck two."
Interview Gone Wild
A man was interviewing for a job.
Interviewer: What's your biggest weakness?
Man: Honesty
Interviewer: I don't think honesty is a weakness
Man: I really don't care what you think
If you encounter a polar bear in the wild, lie down and pretend that you're dead.
It's good practice for when you'll be really dead, five minutes later.
Never in my wildest dreams I thought that
I would wear a mask to bank and ask for money
A drunk orders a shot of Wild Turkey....
Sorry sir, we don't have Wild Turkey only a House bourbon? What can I get you?
I'll have a shot of Wild Turkey
I'm so sorry sir, we just ran out, how about a Jack Daniels
I'll have a shot of Wild Turkey
Okay sir, if you can spell Wild Turkey, I'll get you a shot
W-I-L-D T-U-R-K-E-Y, Wild Turkey
Sir you forgot the F
There's no F in Wild Turkey
That's what I've been trying to tell you,
The Pope and Donald Trump are standing in front of a large crowd.
The Pope says to Trump, Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!
Trump replies, I seriously doubt that, with one wave of your hand? Show me!
So the Pope slapped him.
Fatherly advice
When I was a little boy I fell off my bike and scraped my knee. My dad ran to me picked me up and told me to "shake it off."
Years later while playing baseball I was hit with a wild pitch, my dad called out from the stands "Shake it off son."
Before going off to college my long time girlfriend dumped me. Of course just like everything else in life when I was hurt my dad with his infinite wisdom once again told me to "shake it off."
Due to all the years of his great fatherly advice I knew exactly what to say when he was diagnosed with parkinson's disease.
Man I swear to god, Flat Earthers are just so annoying.
Like sometimes their theories are so wild they just push me off the edge.
Joe Biden and Donald Trump are standing in front of a large crowd.
As they are waving to everyone, Biden leans towards Trump saying,
Did you know, that with one little wave of my hand, I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? Also, this joy will not be merely a momentary display, like that of your followers, but will go deep into their hearts, and for the rest of their lives, whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!
Trump replies, I seriously doubt that, with one wave of your hand? Come on, show me!
So Biden slapped him.
This big ol' grizzly bear walks up to the bar and orders s drink.
The bartender says "We don't serve wild animals."
Furious at this, the bear loses his cool, starts roaring and r**..., knocking people and tables over. In his fury, he picks up an old woman and eats her down in one bite. Crunch.
Now, a bit sedated, he returns to the bar and says "Come on, man. I could use a beer to wash that down."
Shaking his head, the barman says "No wild animals and no drug addicts "
Confused, the bear says "Drug addicts? What drugs?"
The bartender shrugs. "What about that bar-b**...-you-ate?"
An American goes to Australia
And is attending a talk by Bush rangers while taking a wild tour about how it is very dangerous and you should always be on your watch. After the bit about how kangaroos are dangerous, he asks "Is there anywhere in Australia where something or someone isn't trying to kill you?"
"School"
Fishing Buddies
A Kiwi and an Aussie went fishing one afternoon and decided to have a couple of cold beers.
After a while the Aussie says to the Kiwi, "If I was to sneak over to your house and made wild passionate love to your wife while you were at work, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"
The Kiwi after a great deal of thought, says, "Well, I don't know about related, but it sure would make us even."
3 women meet for brunch after a wild night...
1st woman says "girls I got so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks".
2nd woman says "you think that's bad? After I dropped you two off, I drove home. I was so hammered I ended up driving through my garage door and kept going. Destroyed my garage, my husband says it's going to cost 5 grand to fix".
3rd woman goes "When I got home I decided to take a bath and light some candles. I was so drunk, I passed out, knocked over the candles and ended up burning down my whole house".
1st woman exclaims "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog!"
random pandemic question
According to history class, they organized wild o**... in the Middle Ages after the victory over the Plague. Is there anything planned yet? I ask for a friend.
A group of tourists in Africa where enjoying a guided tour….
A group of tourists in Africa were enjoying a tour of the bush observing the wild life. The guide says to everyone , Don't be surprised if you see an elephant wearing sunglasses.
One of the tourists asks-
why would an elephant be wearing sunglasses?
The guide replies- "Well, they do this to so they can go unnoticed at the beach."
The tourist then said- That's ridiculous!! My hotel is right on the beach and I've never seen an elephant."
The guide replies-
"I guess it works."
My grandfather's favorite joke
An old fisherman makes camp up in the wild north country near a blue-green lake, and in the morning he starts to make breakfast. As he's cooking, a little family of moles living in a mole-hill nearby begin to smell what the old fisherman's cooking. The mother mole says Hey! Old Fisherman's cooking, and it smells like bacon! The father mole sniffs the air and says No no I smell pancakes, butter and maple syrup! The teenager mole says You're both wrong! He's making eggs! And the littlest mole says I don't know what you're all talking about, all I smell is mole-a**... .
Wild Life
A bear, a lion and a bat meet up. The bear says, "If I roar in the forests of North America, the entire forest is shivering with fear." The lion says, "And if I roar on the great plains of Africa, the entire savannah is afraid of me."
"Big deal!'' says the bat. "All I have to do is cough, and the entire planet shuts down."
I saw a man with a penguin on a leash
I saw a man walking with a penguin on a leash
I said to him "That penguin is a wild animal. You need to take it to the zoo."
The man thought for a moment and said "You are absolutely right. I'll take him now."
The next day I saw the man again. He was still walking the penguin on a lead.
I said "I thought you were taking that penguin to the zoo?"
He replied "I did, he loved it. Now we're going to the movies."
The kids don't know the difference between castration and a vasectomy.
True story:
Fellow teacher in the lounge during lunch: They have no knowledge of basic human anatomy. They thought that getting a vasectomy meant having your b**... chopped off.
Me: When it comes to the difference between castration and a vasectomy, there is a vas deferens.
Thanks Reddit for letting me steal a joke and use it on the wild.
a long fish story
An ichthyology student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How are the studies going?" the bartender asks. "Really great. In fact, right now I'm working on my thesis to explain why koi fish always swim in groups of four," the student replies. "Why do they do that?" the bartender asks. "Well, in the wild, if a group of four koi are attacked by a predator, the odds are good that let's say the A koi, the B koi, and the C koi will all escape to reproduce and live another day," the student says. "Because the predator will always go for the D koi."
