Wife Hubby Jokes

25 wife hubby jokes and hilarious wife hubby puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wife hubby that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Wife Hubby Short Jokes

Short wife hubby jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wife hubby humour may include short hubby jokes also.

  1. Wife: Listen hubby, who do you like better, an intelligent woman or a beautiful woman? Husband: I don't like either. I only like you.
  2. Wife says to her hubby what do you want for dinner ? The hubby says what's my choices?
    The wife says Yes or No.
  3. Loyalty Test... Wife buys 12 underwears of same color for hubby..🔻
    Hubby- Why same color sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
    Wife- Which people
    Total silence...
  4. Easter Weekend Wife: Honey, what's for Easter?
    Hubby: Same plan as Jesus. Disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday.
  5. Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s**.... Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s**... life?
    Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.

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Wife Hubby One Liners

Which wife hubby one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wife hubby? I can suggest the ones about my hubby and divorced husband.

  1. Wife:- I am Going out for 2 hours. Do u want anything? Hubby:- No, that's enough.
  2. Why was the lizard's wife unsatisfied? Her hubby had a reptile dysfunction.

Wife Hubby Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about wife hubby you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean married man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wife hubby pranks.

To surprise her hubby, an executive's wife stopped by his office.

When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gents, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.

Young couple codewords

The bashfull newlyweds decided to talk about "laundry" when one was interested in s**.... A Year later, when the new was off, the Husband asked "do you want to help me do the laundry tonight?"
Wife: "No, I am too tired".
The next night: "I have a headache". Next
On the following night: "I just don't feel like it".
Finally wife says: "How about doing the Laundry tonight".
Hubby's reply: "No worries, Dear, it was just a small load and I did it by hand!"

A husband and wife give up their identical twin boys for adoption. They name one of them Juan and the other Amol

Years later the wife receives a letter from Juan reaching out to her, he included a picture. Elated she showed her husband who was excited to see his son doing so well in life.. weeks later they receive a letter from Amol telling them how well he is doing and also included a picture. Wife asks hubby " do you want to see your sons picture?" hubby replies "Why? if you've seen Juan you've seen Amol"

Honey, I cleaned the bathroom!!!

Wife: Thank you
Hubby: Why do we keep the toilet brush in the shower?
Wife: What?!??!
Hubby: Why is the toilet brush in the shower?
Wife: What the h**... are you talking about?!?
Hubby: The puffy thing with the handle!!
Hubby: You named the toilet brush?

Translated Indian joke: Don't speak while you're eating.

Husband & Wife dining in a hotel:
Hubby: I wanna tell you something.
Wife: It's not good manners to talk while eating.
(After Eating)
Wife: Now tell me.
Hubby: There was a cockroach in your Biryani !!!
Listen to your Husband once in a while

Animal smugglers

A man wants to smuggle a snake and a skunk through customs. The wife says to her husband "how are we going to get them through?'. Hubby replies "I'll tie the snake around my waist and you shove the skunk up your skirt". "But what about the smell?" she says to which he responds "Well if it dies, it dies…"

Wife always brought a picture of her hubby to work.

H: Honey, why do you always carry a photo of me with you at work?
W: Coz everytime I have a problem, I just look at it and suddenly I feel much better.
H: I knew it! You really love me more than I love you!
W: Well, I just look at your photo and tell myself "no problem is bigger than this".

One Night, as a couple lay down to bed,

the husband gently starts rubbing his wife on the arm. The wife turned over and said "Sorry honey, I have an OBGYN appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
Dejected and rejected, the hubby tries to sleep. After a while he turns over to his wife and says "Do you have a dentist's appointment too?"

Go to your mother

Wife is busy packing clothes.
Hubby: Where are you going?
Wife: To my mother.
Hubby also starts packing clothes.
Wife: And where do you think you are going?
Hubby: I'm also going to my mother.
Wife: What about the kids?
Hubby: Since you are going to your mother and I'm also going to my mother, the kids should also go to their mother.

Wife: "Get me a coat hanger, I don't want the baby anymore."

Hubby: "Are you crazy? It's too late for that! May I remind you our child has already been born?"
Wife: "It's not too late to let it play with the wall socket."


Wife: What are you doing for Easter?
Hubbie: the same thing Jesus does.
Wife: what do you mean?
Hubbie: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday.
Wife: that's amazing. Go ahead you do that and I'll be like Mary.
Hubbie: What do you mean?
Wife: I'll show up pregnant, untouched by my husband.

A man goes to visit his wife who is in a coma.

One of the nurses pulls him aside and tells him that she's heard that occasionally o**... s**... will cause the person in a coma to wake up. The stimulation could literally jar the person awake. With a sly wink she leaves the hubby alone with his wife. A few minutes later alarm bells are ringing and he's screaming for help. The nurse rushes in to find the hubby pulling up his pants screaming, "I did what you said, but I think she choked."


While engaged in the s**... act, wife to her hubby, "You're just like a mobile."
The husband proudly asks, "You love my vibration."
Wife: Na Na Na... the moment you get into basement, your network fails!"

A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife.

See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation!
So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man?
No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!

Man and wife visit the super bull farm.

They are shown round the prize bulls. The manager shows them a great strapping beast.. this one is our gold medal bull he mates without fail every three days. The wife is impressed and nudges hubby.. nodding approvingly.
They move on and next the manager shows them the double gold medal bull. He is a beast! This one, the manager explains proudly can do the business every other day without fail.
Wow.. Says the wife, with sideways look at her husband .. I'm very impressed.
Then the manager shows them Rocky, the triple gold medal bull. Rocky here, he says patting the muscular r**... of a steaming hot stomping beast, is a every single day boy.. 365 copulations a year.
The wife looks at her sulking husband. Now that's what I call a super stud!
Yes.. he says, scratching his chin,
but I bet Rocky here doesn't have to sleep with the same old cow every night.

A Husband working in UK wrote to his wife in India.

Dear Sunita Darling,
I can't send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected
my Company's performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.
Your loving husband,
His wife replied
Hey hubby
Thanks for the 100 kisses.
Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.
3. Your landlord comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of
the monthly rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only,so I gave him other items, I hope
you understand.
5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.
Please don't worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can
survive the month using this balance.
Shall I plan the same for the next month?