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Wife Affair Jokes

86 wife affair jokes and hilarious wife affair puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wife affair that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Wife Affair Short Jokes

Short wife affair jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wife affair humour may include short affair jokes also.

  1. When I found out my wife was having an affair, I was heartbroken. I turned to religion to cope. Now I'm Muslim and we're stoning her tomorrow.
  2. My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch. I said: How can you say such a thing?
  3. Wife: I am having an affair Me:
    *handing the menu to the waiter*
    -I'll have the affair as well.
  4. Dentist: This will hurt. Patient: OK.
    Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife since last year.
  5. The wife just told me"I think you've had an affair with that welsh tart, from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"..... I said, "How can you say such a thing?"
  6. I think John is having an affair with my wife Kevin: I think John is having an affair with my wife.
    Jim: What makes you think that?
    Kevin: He is so miserable lately..
  7. Dentist: This will hurt a little. Patient: OK.
    Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now.
  8. An Affair I recently had an affair with a jar of chocolate spread ..... If you see my wife, you better nutella
  9. Life is funny sometimes. One day you're laying next to the woman you love, the next your wife finds out about the affair.
  10. A man visits his local dentist. Dentist: Now please take a seat, this will hurt a little.
    Patient: Ok.
    Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now.

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Wife Affair One Liners

Which wife affair one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wife affair? I can suggest the ones about cheating wife and wife swap.

  1. I'm sure my mate is having an affair with my wife... He's been proper miserable lately.
  2. My wife had an affair with my eye doctor I didn't even see it coming.
  3. I get so many robocalls My wife thinks I'm having an affair with Scam Likely
  4. How did the rabbit know his wife was having an affair? He found a hare in his bed.
  5. I have beautiful children Thank god my wife is having affairs
  6. I got silver for cheating on my wife. I'm always medalling in affairs.
  7. What do you call cheating on your wife with her sister? A family affair
  8. My wife thinks I'm cheating on her. It's affair assumption.
  9. How did the Doctor find out about his wife affair? She was having an Apple a day.
  10. Where did the police officer go when he saw his wife cheating on him? Internal affairs.
  11. What did the buffalo say when he found out his wife got pregnant from an affair? Bison.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about wife affair can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of wife affair puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Wife Affair Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about wife affair you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean unfaithful wife jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make wife affair prank.

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.

One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a postcard, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife handed the card over and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"

One man's marriage has gotten a bit dull, so he asks a friend if he has any ideas on how to add some excitement back to the marriage.
"Well," his friend says, "you can always have an affair."
"I can't do that! I will always be faithful to her." the troubled man replies.
"If you convince her to let you do it, and then it won't be cheating."
The man agrees to give it a try. The next time his wife seems to be in a very good mood he shares the idea with her that a new partner would add excitement.
"Honey," his wife says, "that won't help our marriage.
Believe me, I already tried it."

There was three people approaching the gates of heaven But there was only one place left.


The gate keeper asked the first man what happened to him because the one with the worst death would go inn.
The first man said:
"Well imagine that I expected my wife was having an affair, so I got home early to surprise her. I found her in the bathroom with a towel round her so I knew she wasn't having a shower so I search the apartment and found 10 fingers hanging from the window sill. So I started bashing away at them. When he fell god must have loved him, because he lived. So I threw a refrigerator at him. After all the excitement I died of a heart attack."
That's horrific said the gate keeper, he asked the second man how he died and he said.
"Well imagine this I was riding one of those stationary bike on the top of our apartment building but it went wrong I feel down and grabbed some ones window sill. Then some idiot started bashing ar my fingers then I fell but god must have loved me because i lived then -SHANNOOOWWWW- a refrigerator plunged down at me"
That is to horrific.
He asked the third man how he died and he said.
"Well imagine that I was n**... in a refrigerator..."

Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church.


One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him.
Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings.
The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings.
So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did.
The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?"
This time, Charlie replied, "I can’t hear you."
The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can’t hear you."
Finally, the priest yelled, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?"
Again, the reply was, "I can’t hear you."
The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question."
So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?"
To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can’t hear in here!"

A m**... was having an affair with a 15 year old girl who had lied about her age, when he learned the truth he broke it off and over the next few week guilt set in and he confessed to his wife. She screamed at him,

"How could you cheat on me like that with an older woman!?!?!?".

A Man and a woman met on top of a building.

Man: I just discovered that my wife is having an affair.
Woman: I caught my husband in bed with another woman.
Man: How about lets have s**... together to get back at them?
Woman: Nice idea
Then they made passionate love.afterwards...
Woman: lets get back at them again!
They made love again for the second time.
Woman: Lets get back at them again!
They done the deed again and again to get back at their spouses. Then after the fifth time ...
Woman: Lets get back at them again!
Man: (looking very exhausted) I think we should forgive them already.

Just write spaghetti

For two years a married man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money to go to Italy and secretly have the child. He said, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18, and also pay for college. She ......agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back in the message area. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day, about nine months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.' He said 'Just give it to me and I'll explain it later.' She gave it to him and then watched as her husband turned white, then fainted after he read the card. On the card was written: Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Please send extra sauce!!

Two with sausage and meatballs, two without

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

Parish priest

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken i**... drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."....
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk.
"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honour of being the FIRST ONE to go to him in Confession."

The importance of never being late

A priest celebrates his 25th anniversary as head of a small congregation in a small village in rural America. The mayor was supposed to hold a speech at the beginning, but as always he had more important matters at hand. So the priest started with his speech.
'I know how disturbed I was 25years ago when I came to this village. The first man to confess, I will not name him, told me that he cheated on his wife and had 5 children with his affaire...'
As the priest came to an end the mayor arrived and started his speech: 'I still know I had the honour to be the first one to confess to Father Anderson...'

A man goes into a bar...

...and orders a beer. The barman gives him a beer and tells him that it is on the house.
When the man orders a second beer, he tries to pay but the barman refuses to take his money.
This continues for well over an hour, and the man realizes that the barman isn`t charging anyone for the drinks.
Finally he asks the barman why he is giving all the booze away for free. The barman answers, "I just found out that the owner is having an affair with my wife. So I am doing to his business what he`s doing to her."

A dude suddenly found out that his wife was having an affair..

.. but before he could talk about it with her she suddenly died in a freak accident. As the person with whom she was having the affair was a neighbourhood guy, the husband also invited him at the f**... ceremony.
At the ceremony the husband somehow was in control of himself but the lover was inconsolable and finally broke down completely. The husband could not contain himself any further, he went to the guy, patted him on the shoulder, hugged him, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Don't worry mate, I am going to marry again soon."

Spaghetti.

A man has an affaire with an italian woman, and gets her pregnant by accident.
Because the man didn't want to hurt his reputation or his marriage he made a deal with the woman. He would financially take care of the kid from birth to the baby's 18th birthday if she would move to Italy and have the baby there.
The woman agreed, but she asked how the man would know when the baby was born. He told the woman to send a postcard with just the word "Spaghetti" when the baby was born and he would make sure to start sending money.
9 months go by and the mans wife comes inside and mentions a very strange postcard from Italy came in the mail for him and hands it to him.
The man reads the postcard and faints.
His worried wife picks up the postcard which reads "5x Spaghetti, 3 with meatballs and 2 plain. Send extra sauce."
(My apologies for any erroneous spelling and/or grammar.)

Spaghetti

For years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey, she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce.

Three guys show up in heaven

Three men end up at the pearly gates at the same time. St. Peter remarks that he was behind schedule and needed each to explain how they died.
The first guy said he was driving to work and he suddenly got the feeling that his wife was cheating on him. He turned around and went straight home and made a complete search of his house. His wife continually denied the affair, and with each denial he grew angrier. Finally, he pushed his refrigerator out his apartment window. His wife was suddenly scared and confessed her affair. The guy was so distraught, he jumped out the very same window to his death.
St. Peter said the death was understandable and let him in.
When the second guy steps up, St. Peter asks how he did. The second guy says, "I was just walking down the street, minding my own business when a refrigerator fell on me. St. Peter lets him in.
The third guy is asked the same question. His response: "I was just sitting in a refrigerator, minding my own business..."

Some of my favorite Scandinavian UFF DA jokes

Ole and Lars were business partners and good friends. One day Lars started off for work and discovered he'd forgotten his tools. Returning home, he looked around for his wife, Lena, and finally found her in the bedroom. To his surprise, she was on the bed with no clothes on. "Vat in the vorld are you doing vidout any clothes, voman?" Lars asked. "Vell, I yust don't have any clothes to vear, dat's why," answered Lena. "Vat you talking about," said Lars as he opened the closet door and began counting: "Vun dress, two dress, tree dress, four dress... Oh, hello Ole... Five dress...
-------–-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
An elderly Norwegian named Lars decided to March to the alter at the ripe old age of 85 with a shapely miss who was only 35. His friends cautioned him about the health hazard involved, saying that the exertion of amour could prove to be fatal. "Vell, dat's the chance I'll have to take," said Lars. "If she dies...she dies."
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The nurse told Ole to s**... to the waist. So he took off his pants.
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Lars and Lena and two other couples were being considered for membership in the Trinity Church. The minister explained that one of the requirements was for the couples to abstain from relations three weeks prior to final approval. "When you demonstrate self control, you will be welcomed to membership in Trinity Church," explained the minister.
Two of the couples indicated compliance, so the minister said, "You are now welcomed to the Church."
However, Lars and Lena admitted that on the last day of the three week period, they had succumbed after Lars became a**... when his wife Lena leaned over to pick up a spool of thread that had dropped to the floor.
"I'm extremely sorry," said the minister, "but I have to say that you now cannot be welcomed into the Trinity Church."
"Vell," said Lars, "Ve are not velcome at Sears anymore eeder.."
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Swede: When is your birthday?
Norwegian: March 21st.
Swede: What year?
Norwegian: Every year.
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Ole made a visit to the church on the corner near his home, found a priest and proceeded to make a confession. "Father, I got some tings to tell you about. I had an affair vith da vidow on Oak street last veek. And this veek I been getting togedder vith a coupla married vomen in my apartment."
"Well," said the priest, "for penance you better go home and say 40 Hail Marys."
"Oh, I ain't Cat'lick," explained Ole.
"You're not Catholic?" Exclaimed the priest. "Then, why are you telling ME?"
"Becoss," said Ole, "I'm telling EVERBODY!"
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A swede was sympathizing with a Norwegian who lost three wives in less that a year. The swede asked how they died.
"Vell, da first vun died from poisoned mushrooms," explained the Norwegian.
"And the second one?" Asked the Swede?
"Same ting...poisoned mushrooms."
"How about the last?"
"Oh her," said the Norwegian, "Fractured skull."
"How?"
"Wouldn't eat her mushrooms."
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Judge: You've been brought here for drinking.
Dane: Swell! Let's get started.

Three dumb guys are in a bar talking about their cheating wives...

First guy says, "I'm sure my wife is having an affair with a plumber. Yesterday when I came home I found a lot of plumbing equipment under our bed that don't belong to me."
Second guy says, "I'm sure my wife is having an affair with an electrician. I came home yesterday to find an electrician's toolbox under our bed."
Third guy says, "You guys have it easy. My wife is having an affair with a horse!"
- "A horse?! How'd you find that out?"
- "Well, yesterday I came home to find a horse jockey hiding under our bed!"

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her...

and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend & didn't tell the husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches, & went to the bathroom.
The wife promptly went into the maid's bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words but quickly got on top of her...
When he finished & was still panting, the wife said: You didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you? And then she switched on the light...
No madam, said the gardener…

Law Interpretation

Alex failed in the final Law Exam & decided to make a deal with the Professor.
Alex: Sir, Can I ask you one question?
Professor: Yes.
Alex: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you cant, you will have to give me an "A" grading.
Professor agreed.
Alex asked: What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give The student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
The following day, Professor asked same question to his students. He was shocked when all of them raised their hands......
He asked one student. He answered:
Sir, you are 65, married to a 28 yrs old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal. Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam & yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal

LIAR

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"

Did you hear about the raisin that slept with another raisin's wife?

No? You're obviously not up to date with currant affairs.

Today, my wife found a pair of her sister's p**... in our room.

They were in my laundry pile, next to my boxers.
Now she's mad, because I told her it was only a brief affair.

The Trap

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her by having an affair with the maid, so she laid down a trap.
One evening, she suddenly sent the maid home and didn't tell her husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story, "Please excuse me my dear, my stomach aches" and went to the bathroom.
The wife promptly went and got into the maid's bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words and had his way with her.
When they were finished and both still panting, the wife said, "Well my dear, you didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you?" And turned on the light.
"Absolutely not!", said her son.

My best mate have agreed to do me a great favour today.....

I told my mate that "I think my wife is having an affair."
"I'm sure you're imagining things," he said, "But to make sure nothing's going on, I'll stay with her at your house while you're at work."

The dentist said to his patient, This is going to hurt a little.

The patient replied, "It's ok doc, I'm ready."
The dentist went on, "I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now.

A man is married to his wife Lorraine

But he is secretly having an affair with his neighbor Claire Lee.
One day Lorraine discovers her husband has been cheating on her and swiftly packs her bags and leaves the next morning.
The man doesn't mind, and on his way to see Claire Lee the next morning he can't stop singing that one song
"I can see Claire Lee now Lorraine has gone"

On what grounds did the wife divorce her husband when she found out he was having an affair with the leader of Cuba?

Infidelity

Cheating

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.

My wife Emily and I have a celebrity exemption rule for extramarital affairs.

Evidently she thought it included the actor playing George in the local production of "Our Town."

A dentist warns his patient...

Dentist: Be advised: this will hurt a lot!
Patient: Nahh don't worry. I can deal with pain very well.
Dentist: I have an affair with your wife since 2009...

A woman goes to the pharmacy and asks for cyanide.

The pharmacist looked stunned and couldn't believe what she had asked for but he was still curious.
"Why would you want to get cyanide?"
The women replied, "My husband has been having an affair and I want to poison him."
The pharmacist tried to reason with the woman, " I can't do this for you. I would lose my license and you and I would go to prison for this."
Then the woman reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband and a woman going into a motel. Upon closer inspection the woman in the picture was the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looks at the woman and says, "Why didn't you just say you had a prescription?"

Dentist: This will hurt a little.

Patient: OK.
Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now."
That's one hole that never really healed.

Wife: Why is you back all scratched up?

*Flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone* Me: I'm having an affair.

I just found out my wife has been having an affair with a midget...

How could she stoop so low?

My wife told me she's having an affair

I said "well, actually I am too."
She said "it's with your best friend, John"
"THAT s**... IS CHEATING ON ME!?"

A Nigerian prince secretly orders a 2nd wife over the internet from Thailand.

The wedding was a black-tie affair

Doctor - "This is gonna hurt a little." Patient - "Okay, I can take it."

Doctor - "I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now."

I went to college to study foreign affairs

And now I know how to cheat on my wife with a russian beauty!

Dave's wife found out about his affair.

"How could you do it to me?" she cried.

"I couldn't," he replied. "That's why I had the affair."

I'm certain my best friend is having an affair with my wife.

He's just been so miserable lately.

3 men die and go to heaven....

Upon entry, St.Peter says, "You will be rewarded based on how honest and faithful you were in your relationships."
The first man had never cheated on his wife and was extremely faithful. So he was given a Cadillac.
The second man had once had an affair but had soon changed and was faithful after that. He was given a Honda.
The last man who had cheated quite a lot on his partners was given a bike.
A few days later, the guy with the bike sees the Cadillac guy crying. He asks him, "Why are you crying? you have everything you could ever want here."
He replies, "I just saw my wife on a bicycle."

Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him.

After some time, Lois said Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I've regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.
You don't need to worry about that because, Clark said as he took off his glasses, I am Superman! Even if you didn't know it was me, in my eyes you were always faithful.
Oh thank God! said Lois. I can't tell you what a weight that is off my chest.
Glad we cleared that up, said Clark.
So I guess this means you were Batman too.
—Credit goes to cartoonist Zach Weinersmith

Old old married couple was out golfing

The husband was about to putt and he stopped. He looked at his wife of 50+ years and said he needed to confess something.
40 years ago I had an affair and I'm so very sorry and I regret it every day.
That's okay said his wife. It was a very long time ago and we've had a wonderful life together.
It was her turn to putt and she stops. Turns and looks at her husband. I just want you to know that before we were married I was a man.
Her husband get very angry and yells. You son of a b**...! You've been hitting from the ladies tee's for 50 years!

There is a husband and a wife that, over their marriage, have eight kids.

One day the husband notices that their sixth kid, Billy, looks very different from the other seven.
The husband goes to his wife and asks her, "Honey, I noticed that Billy looks different from the other children, did you have an affair?"
The wife starts to break down into tears and nods her head.
The husband, heartbroken, quietly asks his wife, "So who is Billy's father?"
"You."

Three men are chatting when the first says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber.

"I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A pipe."
"I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician," says the second. "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A box of fuses."
"I think my wife is having an affair with a horse," says the third man.
The others stare, shocked and bewildered.
"How can you tell?" they ask.
"Because," replies the third man, "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A jockey."

A woman goes to the pharmacist and asks for five kilos of arsenic.

The chemist says, "That's very dangerous, what do you want it for?"
Wife replies, "I'm giving it to my husband. He had an affair"
Chemist says, "Oh no, I could get in a lot of trouble for giving you that"
Wife goes into her purse and pulls out a photo of her husband.....having s**... with the chemist's wife.
"Oh, that's different. I didnt realise you had a prescription"

A husband and a wife over their marriage had eight kids.One day the husband notices that their sixth kid, Billy, looks very different from the other seven.

The husband goes to his wife and asks her, Honey, I noticed that Billy looks different from the other children, did you have an affair?
The wife starts to break down into tears and nods her head.
The husband, heartbroken, quietly asks his wife, So who is Billy's father?
You.

A blonde man is convinced his wife is having an affair...

He buys a gun, comes home early from work, and sure enough there is his wife and another man, n**... in bed. Without a word the blonde man pulls out the gun and blows the guy away. Looking his wife in the eyes he puts the gun to his head and starts pulling the trigger. No! No! Honey don't! The wife screams. The blonde man says Shut up! You're next!

Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar.

Dave and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Dave says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

A lady walks into a pharmacy.

She asks the pharmacist for cyanide.
Pharmacist: I can't sell you that. It's a deadly poison.
Lady: I know. I want to kill my husband. He's having an affair.
Pharmacist: I don't care. I can't sell you cyanide.
Lady shows him a picture of her husband and the pharmacist's wife in bed together.
Pharmacist: Oh … you have a prescription.

Dude 1 and his two friends are talking at a bar - talking about their wives..

Dude 1 says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
Dude 2, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed, and it wasn't mine."
Dude 3, says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him.

After some time, Lois said Darling, I have to confess something. Years ago, I had an affair with Superman. It was only one night, but I've regretted it ever since. I hope you can forgive me.
You don't need to worry about that because, Clark said as he took off his glasses, I am Superman! Even if you didn't know it was me, in my eyes you were always faithful.
Oh thank God! said Lois. I can't tell you what a weight that is off my chest.
Glad we cleared that up, said Clark.
So I guess this means you were Batman too.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these wife affair jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.