Wiener Jokes
55 wiener jokes and hilarious wiener puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wiener that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready to laugh out loud with these hilarious wiener jokes! Celebrate everyone's favorite dog breed--the dachshund--with these jokes that range from classic wiener puns to whacky fart jokes. Read on and get ready to c wiener!
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Funniest Wiener Short Jokes
Short wiener jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wiener humour may include short wurst jokes also.
- Dad, is that dog over there a wiener dog? Son, with enough peanut butter every dog is a wiener dog.
- A little boy and girl are playing together in a bathtub... The girl asks: "Can I touch your wiener?"
The boy replies: "NO WAY, you've already ripped yours off!" - They said my wiener would be like one inch long in cold water. So I took a cold bath, but sadly my wiener didn't get any bigger. :(
- A German man was hitting on my sister-in-law... I told her "He wants to put his wiener in your schnitzel."
She replied "Not happening, I guess he'll be stroganoff." - (Here's a Pick up line) ... You should sell hot dogs ! Because you know how to make a wiener stand!
- What do you get when you cross a dachshund with a Pit Bull? A Wiener-Pit, just like your mom.
- Does anyone have a recipe for sausage and apples? I asked my girlfriend what she wanted tonight and she said she could use a wiener in cider.
- Why do so many guys spit in urinals? Just seems weird that there are that many dudes who salivate at the sight of a wiener.
- What happened when the sausage came in first? An announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wiener!"
- An Irish pirate with a 12 inch wiener walks into a bar and the bartender says "I don't even know how to label you!"
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Wiener One Liners
Which wiener one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wiener? I can suggest the ones about hot dog and hamburger.
- I had just stuck my wiener into some golden buns when I realized... I forgot a condiment.
- What do you call a guy with a small wiener? Justin
- Why can't your wiener be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
- Why will only Dachshunds be remembered ? Because History is written by the wieners.
- Did you guys see the movie about the hotdog? It was an Oscar Wiener
- Grass is green,
trees are greener.
When I think of you,
I play with my wiener. - How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning? He ate a 10 year old wiener.
- Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He was told to get a long little doggy...
- What did Abraham Lincoln names his wiener? The Lincoln Log!
- If my wiener was a mountain... It be Mount Saint Helens
- What did the wiener dog say to the Doberman? Go ahead I'll ketchup, I mustard.
- Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
- What do you call an empty Dachshund? A Hollow Wiener.
- What happens when a wiener encounters puberty? A 21 month federal prison sentence.
- Did you ever hear about the Mexican born with two wieners. He named them Jose and hose b
Wiener Dog Jokes
Here is a list of funny wiener dog jokes and even better wiener dog puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's it called when you put a wiener dog in a box, close it, and when you open it there are two? A paradachshund
- Do you sell hot dogs? Because you know how to make a wiener stand.
- What do you call a black wiener dog? Average
- A cowboy was shopping for a wiener dog some told him to get a long little doggy.
- Dodger Stadium announces they are now offering a limited edition Duggar Dog... The wiener is so big you can share it with your sister.
- Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? Cause he wanted to get along little d**....
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Wiener Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about wiener you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bratwurst jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wiener pranks.
A man goes up to the counter to order a Polish sausage.
The cashier asks, Hey, are you polish?
The man then responds, You think I'm polish just because I ordered a Polish sausage? If I ordered a wiener schnitzel would you think I'm German? If I ordered sushi would you think I'm Japanese? If I ordered Pizza would you think I'm Italian?
The cashier responds, No, it's just that this is s hardware store.
Autopsy shows Michael Jackson died from food poisoning....
they found a 12 year old wiener stuck in his t**....
When I was born god asked me if I wanted a good memory or a huge wiener.
I can't remember what I picked...
Probably the wurst (or the best) halloween joke i have heard yet
What do you call a wiener when you take out its intestines?
A halloweener
My Friend: I have an Irish Wiener, its magically delicious.
*I turn around and say* And it's small, like a leprechaun.
What happens when you take a Daschund from its mother?
You wiener away....
Ok, I'll leave now.
GF: Are you seriously going to open the blinds n**...?
ME: yes, I feel like if people put enough effort to look through hundreds of hotel windows, then they deserve to get a prize.
GF: oh! like "You sir just earned yourself a wiener view"
What do you call a gay guy with a big wiener?
Low hanging fruit
Germany...
World cup wiener
Why was Anthony Wiener crying after his sentencing?
He was happy because when he gets out the girl he was texting will finally be 18.