Width Jokes
17 width jokes and hilarious width puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about width that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Width Short Jokes
Short width jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The width humour may include short height jokes also.
- 39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom Scientists still can't determine how much is needed for your mother though
- Tickets for the Indiana State Philharmonic went up dramatically after they doubled the width of the stage. You didn't think that the ISP would give out twice the band width for free did you?
- Why did the watch company start their own ISP? Because they had the time and the band width.
- So my grandmother came up to me and asked me to cut a piece of fabric into strips for her. I asked her "What width?" She replied: "with scissors of course."
- Pennywise the clown talked to me about the idea of multiplying a prism's length width and height. It spoke volumes to me.
- I was walking my dog around my building ...on the ledge.
Some people are afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.
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Width One Liners
Which width one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with width? I can suggest the ones about wide and size.
- Some people have a fear of heights. Not me, I have a fear of widths.
- Men are like prisms All that matters is length, width, and height.
- Responsive web designers who date online... ...never specify height. Just width.
- People say m**... makes you high But I've not increased in height, only in width
Rib-Tickling Width Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about width you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dimension jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make width pranks.
Golf is like urinating in a public toilet
- Keep your back straight
- knees bent.
- Feet shoulder width apart.
- Form a loose Grip
- keep your head down
- avoid a quick backswing
- stay out of the water
- try not to hit anybody
- if you taking too long you should let others go ahead of you
- you shouldn't stand directly in front of others
- be quite when others are about to go
- keep strokes to a minimum
I used to work in an art supply store.
I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Me: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...
There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.
The width of a milk jug is 5.5"
Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches
93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,6**...,6**...,6**... Feet
Divided by 5280
1,475,694,444 Miles
Divided by 93,000,000 miles to get Astronomical Units
You get 15.8 AU's.
You're so fat, that even though Florence is dropping 17 trillion gallons of rain, It's still not enough to get to Uranus.
'Of course I won't laugh,' said the nurse.
'I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'
'Okay then,' said Dave, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing.
Ten minutes later, she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure. 'I am so sorry,' she said. 'I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?'
'It's swollen',he said.....
"Of course I won't laugh."
Said the nurse. "I am a professional. In over 20 years of working here, I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay, then," Said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width, it was almost identical to a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to suppress a giggle, but it just came out. Feeling very bad at laughing at the mans part she composed herself as well as she could. "I am very sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor, as a nurse and a lady, I promise that won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"
"Its swollen," Bob replied.
She ran out of the room.
