Wider Than Jokes
22 wider than jokes and hilarious wider than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wider than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Wider Than Short Jokes
Short wider than jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wider than humour may include short bigger than jokes also.
- Do you know why I don't make fat jokes? Because they wouldn't be appreciated by the wider audience.
- When I look at my wife, she reminds me of the Universe As she gets older, she gets wider and less hot.
- Chocolate, icecream, cookies, mars bars, doritos, popcorn, milky ways, kit kats and lays! i wrote this joke to reach a wider audience.
- What it is called when u put smaller size tires on wider rims? Stupidity. It's called stupidity
- Today I learned my new office chair has the ability to adjust how far the arms stick out. Guess you could say it's a feature to accommodate to a wider audience
- Is your business interested in reaching a larger and wider audience? Pm me for my ex wife's email address
- What did Senator Craig's Sensei always say to him in class? "Widen your stance Larry! I want to see a wider stance!"
- With the new super ultrawide 32:9 monitors, monitors are constantly getting wider Just like we are.
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Wider Than One Liners
Which wider than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wider than? I can suggest the ones about thicker than and bigger than my.
- Why should you always post jokes in American English? They can reach a wider audience.
- I wrote a joke for banana farmers But I decided it needed to a-peel to a wider audience.
- I mean, my d**... only 3 inches. But I've never seen a woman take it wider then that.
Wider Than Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about wider than you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean deeper than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wider than pranks.
Old Soviet joke - Children in the USSR
Back in Soviet Russia, little Misha is being read to by his babysitter. She reads: 'In the USSR, kindegardens are filled with wonderful toys.'
Misha listens with bright eyes.
'In the USSR, every child has a brand new bicycle.'
Little Misha opens his eyes even wider.
'In the USSR, every child drinks hot cocoa for breakfast.'
Little Misha starts crying his eyes out, bawling:
'I want to go to the USSR!'
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by...
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by. The sphinx said to the man "you may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered "imagination".
"Wrong", said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom".
"Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient.
"Dear God!" he said startled.
"You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen - the biggest cavity I've ever seen."
"OK Doc!" replied the patient.
"I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice."
"I didn't!" said the dentist.
"That was the echo."
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist's work.
They finally went with mine.
"I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral," I said.
"No," said the boy. "Your painting's wider, so it'll cover three holes in our wall."
A pastor walked outside.....
A pastor walked outside of the church because he heard the children being loud. He sees the kids all grouped up. "What are you doing?" The children make the circle wider to show a puppy they had found. "Its a beautiful dog, who will take it home?" The pastor asks. The children look at each other until one of them speaks up. "I know! Whoever tells the biggest lie can take it home! Would you like to play pastor?" The pastor shrugs his shoulders and says, "I don't know, it will be hard because I've never told a lie." The child picks the dog up and hands it to the pastor, "Here you go. You win."
Quasimodo applies for a job at Notre Dame...
...with his younger brother, Semimodo. They meet the Prelate high up in the bell tower.
The Prelate says "why should I hire you Quasimodo?"
He replies "because I can ring the bell better than anyone! And using only my face!"
"Show me," says the Prelate, whereupon Quasimodo enthusiastically slams his face into the bell,which swings violently away. A moment later, it swings back, whacking him in the chest and out of the bell tower. He falls to his death.
"Well," says the Prelate to Semimodo. "Can you do better?"
"Of course!" is the reply and Semimodo pulls the bell rope as hard as he can with both hands. This time the bell swings even wider and on returning catches him square in the shoulder, sending him out of the bell tower and plummeting to his death.
Down below, two nuns come across the bodies.
"Who is this?" asks one, pointing at Quasimodo.
"I'm not sure, " the other sister replies, "but his face rings a bell."
"What about this other one?" she asks, pointing at Semimodo.
"I don't know either, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
Phoning an ex
I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.
"Wow!" I said "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!"
She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!
"Yeah," I said, Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute!
"Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"
So I hung up.
A Girls First Time
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.
Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.