Wicked Jokes
42 wicked jokes and hilarious wicked puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wicked that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with the best of wicked jokes for adults. From hilarious prank ideas to hilarious musical references to nasty hickey stories, explore the funniest of wicked jokes around!
Funniest Wicked Short Jokes
Short wicked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wicked humour may include short vicious jokes also.
- Just got back from a job interview, where I was asked if can perform under pressure. I said I wasn't too sure about that but I do a wicked Bohemian Rhapsody.
- What is the difference between Chuck Norris and John Wick? Chuck Norris gets his revenge before you even think about killing his dog.
- Why is it difficult to have a cool relationship with a candle? Because a candle is WICKED.
- I have been trying to understand why my candle has such bad insomnia... ...guess there is no rest for the wicked.
- What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight? There ain't no rest for the wicked
- What do John Wick and mathematicians have in common? They can work out any problem with a pencil
- My Dad tried twisting the wicks of a handful of firecrackers together and accidentally pulled them out. I told him to stop and not try to fix them, it wasn't safe. He refused two.
- What do a wicked stepmother and a gag reflex have in common? They both keep you from getting to the ball!
- Jesus promised the end of wicked people. Thor promised the end of frost giants. I don't see many frost giants.
- Never bring a knife to a gun fight... Unless you're John Wick, in that case bring a pencil.
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Wicked One Liners
Which wicked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wicked? I can suggest the ones about evil and nasty.
- Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? Because there's no rest for the wicked.
- What does a Boston terrier sound like? Bahk bahk. Wicked bahk.
- Why was the candle tired? There's no rest for the wicked!
- I got fired from the candle factory Told them I didn't want to work wick ends
- What do you call a candle with guns? John Wick
- Why dont Demons fear oxidation? Because there's no rust for the wicked
- What do you call a wicked doctor from the Middle Ages? Med evil!
- What happens if John Wick is recast? Keanu Leaves
- John Wick stabbed a guy in the shoulder. He was left with a bad shoulder blade.
- Why do witches like candles so much? Because they're wicked!
- What do John Wick and Eminem have in common? They both kill people with a pencil.
- Where does Keanu Reeves go to do his research? Wick-ipedia
- What's a Bostonian's favorite musical? Wicked.
- Do you know why COVID-19 doesn't infect dogs? The virus did its research on John Wick.
- My band is wicked sick. We all caught the flu.
Wicked Witch Jokes
Here is a list of funny wicked witch jokes and even better wicked witch puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What time does the wicked witch have her clocks set to? Greenwich mean time.
- What was the true purpose of the Ice Bucket Challenge? To bring down the Wicked Witch of the West.
- What killed the Wicked Witch of The West? Splash damage
- What do the Mighty Ducks and the Wicked Witch of the West have in common? A flying V.
- How do you know the Wicked Witch of the east never had s**...? She clearly has never even been wet.
Giggle-Inducing Wicked Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about wicked you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cruel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wicked pranks.
So a guy walks into a bar...
and says to the bartender "Give me 12 shots of your most expensive Tequila!" The bartender pours the shots and lines them up. The guy starts shooting them back wicked fast, one right after another. The bartender says in shock "Why are you drinking those so fast?!" The guy stops long enough to get out a few words "you would drink these fast too, if you had what I have" Confused, the bartender asks "why? what do you have?"
The guy says "About four dollars"
So.. I woke my gf up with o**... s**... this morning
-Oh wicked, what'd she say?
-Thtoph, thtoph!
Mr. Johnson walked into a movie theater and sat down next to a dog who was at the theater with his owner.
Much to Mr. Johnson's astonishment, the dog laughed at the funny parts, cried at the sad parts, booed at the villain's wicked deeds, and cheered at the hero's heroics.
When they left the theater, Mr. Johnson told the dog owner, "Your dog's reactions to that movie were amazing!"
"I thought so too!" replied the dog owner. "He hated the book."
Russian man dies
Russian man die, but for him suffer not over. Man very wicked, and go to h**.... There devil make punish: he burn in lake of fire. Is warm. Russian man finally happy.
So devil make lake hotter. But Russian man now is warmer. Now is happier.
Devil get very frustrate. So devil make fire lake into ice lake--lake cold as million Russian winter. But Russia man now happiest of all!
"Devil!" he say, "h**... is freeze! Russia is finally happy country!"
But is not true. Is only story.
Also, man not in h**..., only Russia.
On the first date I had with my girlfriend, she whispered into my ear that she worked really well with wood. ;)
So I have a pretty wicked birdhouse now.
Wicked people in the Old Testament didn't drink milk
We know this because the wicked were always visited with utter destruction.
Today morning I wanted to go for a run
However, being a Christian, I remembered Proverbs 28:1, 'The wicked run even though no one pursues them...'
The Future of Aaron Hernandez.
I personally believe Aaron Hernandez would have been a great Punter in the NFL, I mean look at that wicked hang time...
I got my cat Kitten Mittens and now he looks like he's got a wicked peanut allergy
He does not like cat shoes
