whore Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious whore puns

If having sex for money makes you a whore...

Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?

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I was having dinner with my boss and his wife, and she asked "How many potatoes would you like?"

I said, "I'll just have one please".
She said "It's OK, you don't have to be polite."

"Alright, I'll just have one then, you stupid whore".

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A girls walks into an Adult Store. "Hi I want to buy that Red Dildo right there"

Cashier: that's a Fire Extinguisher you whore"

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What kind of shoes does Voldemort force his prostitutes to wear?

Whore Crocs

(I'm sorry)

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I knew this girl that tried to trade sex for adderall.

What an attention whore.

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Wife to husband: "Our son called me a whore!"

Husband answers: "Where is that son of a bitch?"

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What is the difference between a whore and a bitch?

A whore will have sex with anybody, a bitch will have sex with anybody except you.

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I knew a girl in college who would sleep with guys for free Adderall.

She was a real attention whore.

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I'm not saying your new girlfriends a whore but..

The Bermuda Triangle has swallowed fewer seamen

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What's the difference between a circus and a whore house?

One has a cunning array of stunts.

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How do you tell if somebody is a karma whore?

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What's Bill Clinton's favorite instrument to play?

His whore Monica.

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Two men went to the barbers for a shave......

They were both almost done when the barber reached for the aftershave when the first man said Don't put that shit on meβ€š my wife will think I've been in a whore house.

The other man then turned to his barber and said you can put it on me β€š my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whore house smells like.

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My friends call me an attention whore, but that can't be true

Just look at me!

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What does an Amish whore do?

About 10 Mennonite.

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I'm not saying she's a whore, but...

If her vagina had a password it'd be password

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There's a whore house at the top of a hill

There's a whore house at the top of a hill. There is a man walking up the hill, a man walking down the hill, and a man at the whore house. What are their nationalities?

The man walking up the hill --he's Russian, the man walking down the hill -- he's Finnish, the man at the whore house -- Himalayan

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What do you call a girl that sleeps with you for your Adderall?

A total attention whore.

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What is the difference between a politician and a whore?

A whore is open about how they fuck people for money.

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There's a queue for the whore house. A guy walks up, fists flying...

... He punches up the fuckline.

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What do you call children born in Whore Houses?

Brothel Sprouts

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When I was a lad, my father told me I should never go to a whore house.

He said that I might see something there that I shouldn't see.

When I turned 18, my curiosity got the better of me, and I went to a whore house. And I did see something I shouldn't see: I saw my dad there.

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Trump and Cruz are fighting over whose dick is bigger and whose spouse is a bigger whore.

Two more contests Hillary will win.

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I heard a man at the beach yelling "I can't swim!"

Well, I can't play the fucking Piano but am I bitching about it? Attention Whore...

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I was having dinner with my boss and his wife.

His wife asked me, How many rolls would you like?
I said, "I'll just have one please".
She said "It's OK, you don't have to be polite."
So I said, "Alright, I'll just have one then, you stupid fucking whore".

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How do whores in Westeros get into the castle?

Hodor.

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What's the difference between a whore and a drug dealer?

A whore can wash her crack and sell it again .

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A man walks into a whore house and asks what he can get for a dollar.

"You can get a penguin" says the pimp at the front desk.

"A penguin? Sounds sweet!"

The pimp brings the man back to a room and a fine young woman walks in and tells him to drop his pants.

"Oh boy im in for a good one!"

She starts going down on him and as soon as he's about to reach climax she gets up and walks out.

"Hey, where ya goin?!?!" the man says, waddling after her with his pants around his ankles.

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I went to a whorehouse the other day...

The sign outside said "We're closed so beat it"

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What does a slutty horse wear?

Whore Shoes

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The world's oldest 'Yo Mama' joke?

A prodigal Gallant (whose penurious Mother being lately dead, had left him a plentiful Estate) one Day being on his Frolicks, quarrell'd with his Coachman, and said, you damn'd Son of a Whore, I'll kick you into Hell; to which the Coachman answer'd, *if you kick me into Hell, I'll tell your Mother how extravagantly you spend your Estate here upon Earth.*

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What do you call a vegetarian child that was born in a whore house?

A brothel sprout

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(NSFW) Three whores are sat in a bar..

And they are bragging to eachother about how big their pussies are.

Whore 1: My pussy is so big that i can fit my fist in!


Whore 2: Just one? My pussy is so big i can fit both my fists in!


Both whores look to the third and see that she is trying to hold herself up on the bar..


Whore 3: I think i need a wider stool..

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A man walks into a .. nsfw

A man walks into a whore house and asks after the madam, inquiring, "how much for a blow job"

The madam replies, "$100, but it is the best blow job of your life"

The man thinks for a moment, places $100 on the counter, unzips his fly and promptly begins to jerk off.

The madam protests, "what are you doing?"

And in reply the man states, "for $100 she isn't getting the easy one".

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A Marine and a Sailor were getting a haircut.

One day there was a Marine and a Sailor sitting next to each other getting a haircut and a shave. At the end of the shave, the barber went to go put some aftershave on the Marine. The marine stopped the barber and said skip the aftershave, I don't want to go home to my wife smelling like a whore house When the Sailor was done the barber hesitated but the Sailor said, Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what a whore house smells like .

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What are the most funny Whore jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Whore? Well, here are the best Whore dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Whore pick up lines to share with friends.

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