White Paint Jokes
41 white paint jokes and hilarious white paint puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about white paint that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest White Paint Short Jokes
Short white paint jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The white paint humour may include short spray paint jokes also.
- I painted my computer black so it would run faster. Now it doesn't work.
Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
Now the whole system is corrupt. - I painted my living room white the other day and for a short while I could swear it looked slightly blue.... ...then I realised it was just a pigment of my imagination.
- I asked my handyman why did he paint my staircase white He was indeed puzzled. The only thing I got from him is a blank stair
- What do Paint Samples and Michael Jackson have in common? They both come in little white cans...
- What did the black paint say to the white paint as it smeared across the canvas? Oh my you're looking gradient today.
- A model asked a painter girl "Why do you always paint me in black and white"
"There is no u in color" She said - I painted my computer black now it doesn't work I painted it white to make it work again now the whole system is corrupt - daddypig-ncsu
- The Wong Brothers Painting Company was hired to paint Rick's house white while he was on vacation. He came back to a blue home. Two Wongs don't make it white.
- The difference between my mom and clown..... Is that the clown face painted white before they meet men
- What's white and smells like black paint? The freshly painted fence.
What's black and smells like white paint?
The 6 year old who painted it
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White Paint One Liners
Which white paint one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with white paint? I can suggest the ones about paint and white van.
- What would America do if Russia painted the moon red? Paint Coca Cola over it in white.
- What colour did Matthew McConaughey paint his house? All white, all white, all white...
- What's white and smells like black paint? White paint
- I painted my laptop white hoping it would work more ... Now the system is corrupted
- How does a gay person paint a wall white with no paint? He farts
- Why shouldn't you let Asians paint your house? Because two Wongs won't make it white.
- Why did the man paint white lines down the road? Becuase he was from Belgium.
- What was h**...'s favorite color to use when painting? a**... white.
White Paint Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about white paint you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean yellow color jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make white paint pranks.
Exams
A beautiful young woman, about to undergo a minor operation, is lying on a gurney in a hospital corridor awaiting the medical staff. A man in a white coat approaches her, lifts up the sheet, and visually examines her n**... body. He walks away and confers with another man in a white coat. The second man then approaches the girl and performs the same examination. When a third man approaches her, she asks impatiently, "These examinations are fine, but when are you going to start the operation?"
He shrugs and says, "Your guess is as good as mine, lady. We're just here to paint the halls."
So a snail walks into a car dealership..
He goes up to the dealer and he says, "Alright, I want it cherry red, with white-walls, and leather seats, and I want a *big* 'S' painted on the the side." After he rings it the dealer looks at him and he says "I understand white-walls and leather seats, but why the letter 'S' on the side? "Well" the snail says "When I drive by in my new car, I want people to say 'look at that S car go!'
The Lone Ranger is in trouble now!
The lone ranger and Tonto are riding together, when suddenly they are surrounded by a group of Apache Indians, screaming like banshees and swinging warclubs.
The lone ranger takes a look at the war-painted pack of warriors howling for his blood, and yells to his faithful sidekick, "Looks like we might have to fight them off, Tonto!"
The lone ranger looks over his shoulder to see Tonto backing his horse away slowly.
"What you mean 'we', white man?"
There was this guy on the road
There was this guy on the road who was found painted grey with a white push bike symbol painted on. He said he lays down on roads to camouflage himself waiting for people to ride their bikes over him because he enjoyed the feeling.
This guy was a real cycle path.
Joe and his friends went to the costume party...
Joe and his friends went to the costume party and were really enjoying themselves.
Then a woman came in. She was wearing nothing at all, but was body-painted in white from head to toes.
The guys struggled to guess what that meant but after few drinks Joe gathered courage and went to ask.
"Excuse me, madam, we were wondering what are you dressed up as? Can you please tell us?"
The woman spreads her legs and says:
"Tooth decay, silly!"
APPLICANTS for a clerical post in a paint company were given a simple written test. They were asked to write a short note using the words GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK one candidate wrote:
Phone went 'GREEN, GREEN'. I PINKed up the phone and said, " YELLOW, YELLOW! BLUE's Speaking? WHITE did you say? Wrong number! Don't PURPLEly disturb people! And don't call BLACK!!!
A man wants his house painted white while he's on vacation.
Looking through the newspaper he sees an ad for the Wong Brothers Painting Company.
He hires the Wong Brothers to paint his house white as he's preparing to leave for the week.
When his vacation is over he comes home and his house is *pink*.
Angry, he goes to the Wong Brothers and begs the question "*Why is my house pink?! I strictly asked for you to paint it white!*"
The Wong Brothers reply "Sorry, two Wongs don't make it white".
Credit to my father.
What's red, white, and blue?
A can of red, white, and blue paint that has not been evenly mixed.
A man walks into an art museum...
...saunters past a guard and rips a painting off the wall with his bare hands. The guards attempt to stop him as he runs out of the museum, but he is too quick and acrobatic and evades all of their efforts. Just out the museum doors, he hops into the back of a white van that begins speeding away with impressive acceleration; he holds the painting tauntingly out of the back of the van to mock the guards who tried to stop him, standing aghast on the museum steps. A passerby comments to his friend, "wow, look at that van go!"
"No, you idiot," his friend says, "that's a Rembrandt."
White House painting tender.
Donald trump wants to paint the white house. He calls for tenders from China, Europe and India.
Chinese guy quoted 3 million U$
European guy quoted 7 million U$
Indian guy quoted 10 million U$
Trump asked chinese guy, how did you quote 3 million..?"
Chinese guy replied "1 million for paint 1 million for labour 1 million profit."
Trump asked european guy, He replied-" 3 million for paint 2 million for labour 2 million profit"
Trump asked Indian guy.. He replied."
4 million for you, 3 million for me and we will give 3 million to the chinese guy and ask him to paint..!!
Indian got the contract !
Why are Black People's Hands and Feet White?
God put them on all fours when he spray-painted them.
Why shouldn't you use red, white, and blue paint in a watercolor?
Because these colors don't run
Racist joke. If you're going to get offended just don't read it.
A young black kid observed that there seemed to be some advantages in being white, so he went off and painted himself white all over. He went and showed his mother who roused on him, and told him to go and show his father. This he did, and his father not only roared at him for being so silly, but cuffed him over the ears and sent him on his way. The boy went on and sat on his favorite log pondering his position and feeling very glum. His mate came along and asked him what was wrong. "I've only been a white kid for half and hour," he replied, "and I hate those
black b**... already!"
A snail walks into a car dealership...
and is immediately greeted by a salesman.
"I want your finest car", says the snail.
So the salesman drives up in a brand new, pearl white fully loaded Rolls Royce.
The snail is very excited. "Excellent. Now before I pay for this car, is there something else you can do for me?"
The salesman is about to wet himself from the sweet commission he's about to get. "What do you need?"
The snail replies "I want you to take this black paint, and cover the entire car with hundreds of S's."
The man is flabergasted. "but sir, that would look horrible...why would you want to defile such a beautiful and expensive car?"
The snail responded proudly, "When I'm driving down the street, I want people to stop, point at my car and say 'wow...look at that S car go!'"
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation.
She’s laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her.
The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the g**... the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready.
A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her n**... body.
He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat.
The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations.
When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: “All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?”
The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor.”