white Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious white stories

What are the best white puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about White? Well here is a complete list of the top white jokes:

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

👍🏼

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do.

We do it in schools, because we have class.

👍🏼

Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison?

Cause you know he is actually guilty.

👍🏼

Republicans are the true snowflakes...

they're white, they're cold, and if you put enough of em together they'll shut down public schools

EDIT* Thanks for the gold! You popped my gold cherry!

its a joke folks. just a joke.

👍🏼

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A Swallow.

👍🏼

Life is like chess...

We can't all be white.

👍🏼

I was at my bank today...

... there was a short queue. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

👍🏼

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.

👍🏼

A little girl is attending her first wedding...

And as the priest is reading the vows, she leans over to her mother and whispers, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explains, "and today is the happiest day in her life."

The child ponders this for a moment and then asks, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

👍🏼

Where do babies come from?

Storks bring white babies.
Crows bring black babies.
So what brings no babies?
Swallows

👍🏼

Two Jews were arguing whether or not white is a color

After arguing for a week they went for an advice to their rabbi
Rabbi looked into an old book and said yes, white is a color.
A week later same Jews were arguing for a week whether black is a color
Went to the same rabbi who said yes, black is also a color
See!!! says one of them, I did sell you a color TV!!!!

👍🏼

Nephew asks about sex

My young nephew Harry asked me how babies are made. I had no idea how to approach it so I looked online and found a video that explains it all. At the end of the video I told him "It's basically just like that, only the white goo on her face should have gone up her pussy and normally there isn't a horse involved".

👍🏼

What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?

White vans.

*rimshot*

👍🏼

Winston Churchill was dining in fine company, and when asked what piece of chicken he wanted, he requested a breast. A lady upbraided him, saying, "Mr. Churchill, in polite society we ask for white meat or dark."

The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."

👍🏼

Why can't Stephen Hawking dance?

Because he's white.

👍🏼

This is one of those gems thought up at 4 am, why does nobody listen to Neo-Nazis?

It's all just white noise.

👍🏼

I was wondering...

since there are great white sharks, how come there aren't any great black sharks? Then i realized even if there were, they probably couldn't swim...

👍🏼

Romney was asked about the Chinese going to the moon...

He responded that when they are up there, they will be able to see the flag we planted over 40 years ago. This is a pretty clever comeback. But the last laugh is on us. The US flags are now all beached white due to the unprotected exposure to the sun's UV radiation. This means the Chinese will think the French made it first.

👍🏼

Bunny

A little girl walks into a pet shop. She asks the owner for a bunny, to which he responds "what kind of bunny would you like? A cute black one, an adorable brown one or perhaps a sweet little white one?"

The girl looks at the owner and answers: "I don't think my python really cares..."

👍🏼

This just in: A white flag factory has burned to the ground in Paris...

... Effectively crippling the French military.

👍🏼

how do you know that adam and eve were white

have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man

👍🏼

Frenchman in a hotel.

A french man calls the room service and asks for some "pepper".

"Well ... would you like some white pepper or black pepper?" asks the receptionist.

"Toilet pepper."

👍🏼

A NSFW joke I was told at work.

There a 3rd grade teacher and she is having her students make noises that farm animals do. She asks a white girl, "What sound does a cow make?" The girls responds, "Mooo." The teacher says, "Wonderful that is exactly right." The teacher then asks a Black kid, " What sound does a pig make?" He says, " Freeze Mother Fucker!"

👍🏼

What's white on top and black on bottom?

Society.

Whats black on top and white on bottom?

rape.

👍🏼

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.

👍🏼

What do you call white people sitting on a bench

The nba

👍🏼

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, "Excuthe me, but do you thell baby bunnieth?".

The pet store owner smiles and says, "Why, yes, sweetheart! We sell all kinds of baby bunnies. Now... what kind of baby bunny would you like? Would you like a baby grey bunny? Or a baby white bunny? Or would you prefer a pretty brown bunny?"

The little girl replies, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."

👍🏼

at the roulette table when.....

I was just about to place my chips on the roulette table at the casino when the African man standing next to me gave me a nudge and said, "Black, 33."

I shook his hand and said, "White, 28."

👍🏼

Mild Racism - NSFW

What do you call one white guy surrounded by 5 black guys - Coach

What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 black guys - Quarterback

What do you call one white guy surrounded by a thousand black guys - Warden

👍🏼

Why can't two Asians make a Caucasian?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

👍🏼

What's black, white, red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.

👍🏼

A young Native American boy walks up to his father...

...and asks "Father how do we get our names?"
Father says: "When your brother was born, I came out of the teepee and saw a bear standing in the distance, so we called your brother Standing Bear.

Then, when your sister was born, a white dove flew by the teepee when I stepped outside, so we named your sister White Dove.

Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"

👍🏼

What's a pedophile's favorite pair of shoes?

White Vans.

👍🏼

May be too close to home for some people

This little kid runs up to his mother.
He says: "Mommy! mommy! Why am I black, and you're white?"
And the mom says: "Look the way I remember that party, you're lucky you don't fucking bark."

👍🏼

I hate when black people mistakenly think I'm racist

Today, a black guy was holding hands with his white girlfriend in the airport and got upset because he caught me looking at him suspiciously. I wish I could explain to him that I was only trying to figure out if he was in the NBA or not.

👍🏼

penny scales

A woman stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and put in a coin.

"Listen to this," she said to her husband, showing him a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover."

"Yeah," her husband nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."

👍🏼

Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.

Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.

👍🏼

Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy...

At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

👍🏼

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

The guy behind the counter says, Male or female ?

The customer says, Female.

The counter guy asks, Black or white?

The customer says, White.

The counter guy asks, Christian or Muslim?

The customer says, What does religion have to do with it?

The counter guy says, The Muslim one blows itself up.

👍🏼

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear...?

White vans

👍🏼

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

👍🏼

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White Vans.

👍🏼

Blue Elephant

How do you kill a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a white elephant?

Choke it until it becomes blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

👍🏼

A black boy asks his white parents

"Daddy why are your and mommy's faces so bright if mine is so dark?" says the kid. The dad looks at him and goes: "Jimmy the party was so wild you should be happy you're not barking now".

👍🏼

What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?

Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

👍🏼

What famous actor is like a jail cell full of white guys?

Niggaless Cage


(My girlfriend came up with this today. We're not racist I swear. This just cracked me up.)

👍🏼

I heard that because the moon has no atmosphere...

the American flag we planted there has lost its color and is now completely white. We need go up there and change it. Because we don't want anyone thinking the French beat us to the moon.

👍🏼

A little boy at a wedding...

A little boy at a wedding asks his Mom, "Mommy how come bride's wear white dresses at their wedding." The Mom responds "Well because it's the happiest day of her life." The kid responds "Then how come the groom wears black?"

👍🏼

A woman goes into a store...

and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos.

She asks what are they made of.

The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.

The woman said she could not afford that.

The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.

👍🏼

How many white people can you fit in a can?

Crackers don't come in cans, they come in boxes!

👍🏼

CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best white jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about white. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty white gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these white jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

Can I save White jokes? You can do this from the Joko Jokes iPhone app. It is available for free download from the Apple App Store. Thumbs up your favorite jokes so we can rank them by how many likes every joke has. Every thumb matters for Joko Jokes' rankings.

How to share a White joke? You are free to share every White joke found on JokoJokes.com, share it on Facebook, Twitter or by email and have fun with friends and family.

JokoJokes