The Best 73 Whistle Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Whistle jokes. There are some whistle shofar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these whistle hover puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Whistle Jokes and Puns

I saw a fat chick walking with a rape whistle

I love her optimism

I had to pee really bad at the swimming pool yesterday, so I tried to sneak it in at the deep end...

But the lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in.

Why do female skydivers wear tampons?

So they don't whistle on the way down.

Whistle joke, Why do female skydivers wear tampons?

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

Because he was Snowden

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!


Why did the referee blow his whistle at the leper hockey game?

There was a face off at centre ice.

Can't whistle?

That's okay! We prefer hummers anyway!

Whistle joke, Can't whistle?

What do you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon!

My father told me this joke the same day he taught me how to whistle.

R.I.P. Dad

A lifeguard blows his whistle at a little boy and asks him to come over...

He says to the boy, "Hey, you're not allowed to pee in the pool."

"That's not fair!" says the boy, "There must be dozens of people peeing in the pool every day! Why do you gotta pick on me?"

The lifeguard says, "Well most people don't do it off the diving board."

Why couldnt the NSA whistle blower leave russia?

He was snowed in

Why can't you hear a dog whistle?

Because they have a hard time puckering their lips the right way.

You can explore whistle honk reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean whistle tinkle dad jokes. There are also whistle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Last night I hooked up with Edward Snowden's sister.

believe me, she's the REAL whistle blower.

How to spot the toughest guy in jail?

He still has some whistle left in his fart.

Why do women parachutists wear jock straps?

So they don't whistle on the way down.

What do you get when you cross a whistle with a blizzard?

Edward Snowed-in

Why did the artist decide to start making carvings out of soap?

Cause them bad boys looked as clean as a whistle.

Whistle joke, Why did the artist decide to start making carvings out of soap?

I had a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.

So I bought a steel whistle, and it steel wooden whistle.

But then I bought a tin whistle, and now I tin whistle!

i just bought a rape whistle...

and the look on my victims faces is priceless.

The rape advice hotline hung up on me today...

Apparently "How do I stop them from blowing a rape whistle?" wasn't a valid question


Pavlov's birds

An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.

Apparently a dog whistle in inaudible to the human ear.

Just think, my pet could be sitting in front of me whistling a tune and I can't hear a thing.

Why don't women parachute naked?

Cause they would whistle on the way down

I was going on my first date and my mom gave me a whistle...

I asked her what purpose does this serve to which she replied, "to remind you not to blow it."

I had a wooden whistle...

And it wooden whistle. So, I got a steel whistle and it steel wooden whistle. Finally I got a tin whistle, now I tin whistle.

Sexist UFO

A strange disk appeared in the sky. It would hover over groups of women and whistle. Whenever a man would approach it would fly away and hover over another group of women and whistle. The headline in a feminist paper read: Object Defying Women.

Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?

Because it's Snowden.

What do you call one referee who tattles on another referee?

A whistle blower

What's more effective than an islamic call to prayer?

A rape whistle.

Why don't whistleblowers escape to the mountains during winter?

Because they get Snowden!

Did you hear about the man who couldn't stop blowing his "duck call" whistle?

He was addicted to quack.

Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam.

FBI is still looking for the leak.

What do you call an obese woman with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps?

So they don't whistle on the way down.

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

Why couldn't he whistle blower leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden!
Get it? Snowed in? Snowden?

Ahh...you'll get it tomorrow.

What's the difference between your mom and a whistle?

Nothing.

They both scream when blown.

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

Are you a 1950's vintage hotdog toy?

'Cause you make my weenie whistle

Why didn't the whistleblower make it to work?

Because he was Snow'd-en.

I bought a wooden whistle

but it wooden whistle.

So I bought a steel whistle,

but it steel wooden whistle.

So I bought a lead whistle,

but it steel wooden lead me whistle.

So I bought a copper whistle,

but the copper steel wooden lead me whistle.

So I bought a tin whistle,

now I can whistle.

TIL Before Edward Snowden worked for the government, he worked for the railroad.

He blew the whistle.

How do you get an Indian man to make love to you?

Forget your rape whistle at home

I was having a quick wee in the deep end of the swimming pool when the lifeguard blew his whistle.

It was so loud I nearly fell in.

What do you call Penguins that whistle quickly?

Stanley Cup Champions

Why don't women wear dresses when parachuting?

Because they'd whistle on the way down.

I bought a wooden whistle

BUT IT WOODEN WHISTLE

I bought a rape whistle recently

So far no one has raped me. I want my money back.

Bought my wife a rape whistle.

A week later she tells me it's broken, no one ever comes..

Whistle Puns

One day, I went to the store, and I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.

So I went to the store again, and I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.

After a lot of frustration, I went to the store again and I bought a lead whistle.
I was really mad at this point. It steel wooden lead me whistle!

Husband: Hunny, when I die...

I want you to cremate me and put me in a whistle so you can blow me one last time.

I bought a wooden whistle

It wooden whistle

One day, I went to a store and bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.

So I went to that store again and got a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.

Frustrated, I went to that store one last time and bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle!

A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.

A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.

He has two in his boat when the police approach him.

The man claims he's not poaching them and they are his pet lobsters, he's just taking them for a swim.

"I let them play in the water for a few minutes but when I whistle they come back to me."

So the police let him place the lobsters in the water and command the man to call them back.

"Call who back?"

Why is an Egyptian tomb like a train whistle?

They have a toot in common.

Whistles

I bought a wooden whistle...
But it wooden whistle

So I bought a steel whistle...
But it steel wooden whistle

Then I bought a lead whistle...
But it steel wooden lead me whistle!

I bought a wooden whistle

...but it wooden whistle.

So I bought a steel whistle. And it steel wooden whistle.

Then I bought a lead whistle. It steel wooden lead me whistle.

Finally, I bought a tin whistle. Now I can whistle.

I whistled and ran up to the cow, and it fled, letting out this really loud and distinctive "moo" as it ran off.

It was quite a cow word.

What did the dog say to the dog whistle?

That Hertz.

How do you teach a baby to whistle?

You put it into a pressure cooker.

I tried to sneak a quick pee in the public pool today but I think the lifeguard saw me.

He blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

Why did the whistleblower wait until summer to move to Russia?

It doesn't really Snowden.

You know what's better than a rape whistle?

A rape knife or a rape gun. All's I'm saying is don't bring a whistle to a rape fight.

credit to comedian Doug Mellard

Why can't humans hear a dog whistle?

Because dogs can't whistle.

The last time I was in the ocean, it was so rough

I had to blow my rape whistle.

What do you call Amy Schumer with a rape whistle?

Optimistic

What's worse than finding out your mom has a rape whistle?

Testing it.

Me: My wife and I are now sleeping in different rooms.

Friend: What do you do if you want sex?

Me: I whistle.

Friend: What if your wife wants sex?

Me: She comes to my door and asks me if I whistled.

I bought a wooden whistle

But it wooden whistle.

So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.

Then I bought a lead whistle, but it steel wooden lead me whistle.

How do flowers whistle?

With their tulips.

My wife started a program to support whistle blowers by knitting them sweaters.

She calls the program Snitches get Stitches

How do flowers whistle?

Through their tulips.

Have you ever looked up the word whistle in the dictionary?

I found it a bit under whelming.

Couldn't sleep at all last night, just lay there listening to my wife's nose whistle.

Really wish she'd practice it somewhere else.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the whistle dixie jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working whistle toot piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes