Whistle Jokes
93 whistle jokes and hilarious whistle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about whistle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your friends laugh with these hilarious jokes about whistles! From sports to snouts and even blowholes, these jokes cover all types of whistles like tin whistles, wolf whistles, and even Dude Perfect's signature whistle. Discover the funniest jokes about the sound of a whistle today!
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Funniest Whistle Short Jokes
Short whistle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The whistle humour may include short whisk jokes also.
- A Genie once granted me one wish, so I said I just want to be happy . So now I'm living in a little cottage with 6 dwarfs, working in a mine and singing ?'Whistle while you work…….' ?
- I was having a quick wee in the deep end of the swimming pool when the lifeguard blew his whistle. It was so loud I nearly fell in.
- PSA: I'm starting a minimalist orchestra! It's just like a regular orchestra but without the bells and whistles.
- Whistles I bought a wooden whistle...
But it wooden whistle
So I bought a steel whistle...
But it steel wooden whistle
Then I bought a lead whistle...
But it steel wooden lead me whistle! - I had to pee really bad at the swimming pool yesterday, so I tried to sneak it in at the deep end... But the lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in.
- What do you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a steamroller? Flatman and Ribbon!
My father told me this joke the same day he taught me how to whistle.
R.I.P. Dad - I tried to sneak a quick pee in the public pool today but I think the lifeguard saw me. He blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
- My wife started a program to support whistle blowers by knitting them sweaters. She calls the program Snitches get Stitches
- I had a wooden whistle... And it wooden whistle. So, I got a steel whistle and it steel wooden whistle. Finally I got a tin whistle, now I tin whistle.
- Did you hear about the whistle-blower who couldn't make it home for Christmas? He was Snowden.
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Whistle One Liners
Which whistle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with whistle? I can suggest the ones about whim and trumpet.
- Why couldnt the NSA whistle blower leave russia? He was snowed in
- How do flowers whistle? With their tulips.
- I bought a wooden whistle BUT IT WOODEN WHISTLE
- What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard? Nothing, he's Snowden.
- I bought a wooden whistle It wooden whistle
- Why don't women wear dresses when parachuting? Because they'd whistle on the way down.
- How do flowers whistle? Through their tulips.
- I guess half of America are whistle-blowers this morning Cause we're all Snowden
- What do you call Penguins that whistle quickly? Stanley Cup Champions
- Why do women parachutists wear jock straps? So they don't whistle on the way down.
- How do we know that soccer referees are happy? Because they whistle while they work.
- Why is an Egyptian tomb like a train whistle? They have a toot in common.
- What did the dog say to the dog whistle? That Hertz.
- I hate when songs are just a bunch high notes and whistles It makes me high key upset
- What do you call one referee who tattles on another referee? A whistle blower
Blow Whistle Jokes
Here is a list of funny blow whistle jokes and even better blow whistle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Husband: Hunny, when I die... I want you to cremate me and put me in a whistle so you can blow me one last time.
- Did you hear about the man who couldn't stop blowing his "duck call" whistle? He was addicted to quack.
- I was going on my first date and my mom gave me a whistle... I asked her what purpose does this serve to which she replied, "to remind you not to blow it."
- Why women say they're bad at Tinder? That's like being bad at whistling. You just put your lips together and blow.
- How do you blow a movie quote? You just put your lips together and whistle
- Why did the referee blow his whistle at the l**... hockey game? There was a face off at centre ice.
- The r**... advice hotline hung up on me today... Apparently "How do I stop them from blowing a r**... whistle?" wasn't a valid question
- The last time I was in the ocean, it was so rough I had to blow my r**... whistle.
Tin Whistle Jokes
Here is a list of funny tin whistle jokes and even better tin whistle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel whistle, and it steel wooden whistle.
But then I bought a tin whistle, and now I tin whistle! - Fog Horns If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?
Whistle Bad Jokes
Here is a list of funny whistle bad jokes and even better whistle bad puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the artist decide to start making carvings out of soap? Cause them bad boys looked as clean as a whistle.
Amusing Whistle Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about whistle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean whip jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make whistle pranks.
I saw a fat chick walking with a r**... whistle
I love her optimism
Why do female skydivers wear tampons?
So they don't whistle on the way down.
Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?
Because he was Snowden
What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?
I'm Snowden!
Can't whistle?
That's okay! We prefer hummers anyway!
A lifeguard blows his whistle at a little boy and asks him to come over...
He says to the boy, "Hey, you're not allowed to pee in the pool."
"That's not fair!" says the boy, "There must be dozens of people peeing in the pool every day! Why do you gotta pick on me?"
The lifeguard says, "Well most people don't do it off the diving board."
Why can't you hear a dog whistle?
Because they have a hard time puckering their lips the right way.
Last night I hooked up with Edward Snowden's sister.
believe me, she's the REAL whistle blower.
How to spot the toughest guy in jail?
He still has some whistle left in his f**....
i just bought a r**... whistle...
and the look on my victims faces is priceless.
Pavlov's birds
An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.
Apparently a dog whistle in inaudible to the human ear.
Just think, my pet could be sitting in front of me whistling a tune and I can't hear a thing.
Sexist UFO
A strange disk appeared in the sky. It would hover over groups of women and whistle. Whenever a man would approach it would fly away and hover over another group of women and whistle. The headline in a feminist paper read: Object Defying Women.
Why couldn't the whistleblower step outside?
Because it's Snowden.
What's more effective than an islamic call to prayer?
A r**... whistle.
Whistleblower reveals that the government is concealing cracks in Hoover Dam.
FBI is still looking for the leak.
What do you call an obese woman with a r**... whistle?
Optimistic.
Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps?
So they don't whistle on the way down.
Why couldn't he whistle blower leave Russia?
Because he was Snowden!
Get it? Snowed in? Snowden?
Ahh...you'll get it tomorrow.
What do you call a fat girl with a r**... whistle?
Optimistic.
Are you a 1950's vintage hotdog toy?
'Cause you make my w**... whistle
Why didn't the whistleblower make it to work?
Because he was Snow'd-en.
I bought a wooden whistle
but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle,
but it steel wooden whistle.
So I bought a lead whistle,
but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a copper whistle,
but the copper steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a tin whistle,
now I can whistle.
I bought a r**... whistle recently
So far no one has r**... me. I want my money back.
Whistle Puns
One day, I went to the store, and I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I went to the store again, and I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
After a lot of frustration, I went to the store again and I bought a lead whistle.
I was really mad at this point. It steel wooden lead me whistle!
One day, I went to a store and bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I went to that store again and got a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
Frustrated, I went to that store one last time and bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle!
A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.
A man is caught fishing illegally for lobsters.
He has two in his boat when the police approach him.
The man claims he's not poaching them and they are his pet lobsters, he's just taking them for a swim.
"I let them play in the water for a few minutes but when I whistle they come back to me."
So the police let him place the lobsters in the water and command the man to call them back.
"Call who back?"
I bought a wooden whistle
...but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle. And it steel wooden whistle.
Then I bought a lead whistle. It steel wooden lead me whistle.
Finally, I bought a tin whistle. Now I can whistle.
I whistled and ran up to the cow, and it fled, letting out this really loud and distinctive "moo" as it ran off.
It was quite a cow word.
Why did the whistleblower wait until summer to move to Russia?
It doesn't really Snowden.
You know what's better than a r**... whistle?
A r**... knife or a r**... gun. All's I'm saying is don't bring a whistle to a r**... fight.
credit to comedian Doug Mellard
What's worse than finding out your mom has a r**... whistle?
Testing it.
Me: My wife and I are now sleeping in different rooms.
Friend: What do you do if you want s**...?
Me: I whistle.
Friend: What if your wife wants s**...?
Me: She comes to my door and asks me if I whistled.
I bought a wooden whistle
But it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
Then I bought a lead whistle, but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
Have you ever looked up the word whistle in the dictionary?
I found it a bit under whelming.
Couldn't sleep at all last night, just lay there listening to my wife's nose whistle.
Really wish she'd practice it somewhere else.
I took my kids to the local pool the other day..
We were down the shallow end when I had the sudden urge to pee. I slowly and inconspicuously made my way up to the deep end to relieve myself. As I'm about halfway through the lifeguard noticed what I was doing. He blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in.
I'm just trying to buy a whistle: I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.
Then i bought a steel whistle but it steel wooden whistle. So, i bought a lead whistle but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
A pirate trained his pet whale to come when he whistled
One day, he heard a navy general whistle the same way
Furious, the pirate fired all cannons and blew their ship in half. In victory he yelled
Sank you!
The general yelled back
Your whale comes!
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "About time you got here," the bartender comments. "You missed all the excitement." "What happened?" the guy asks. "We had a NFL referee in here. He had too much to drink and was running around blowing his whistle at everyone. I finally had to warn him about using it inside here and gave him one last chance," the bartender says. "Unfortunately he blew it."
I gave my children a warning about using their whistle in the house, they had one last chance…
Unfortunately… they blew it
