Whipped Jokes
71 whipped jokes and hilarious whipped puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about whipped that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will explore the phenomenon of "whipped jokes" and discuss how they've come to mean something entirely different in today's culture. We'll also discuss the common misconceptions of being "whipped" and why they're simply untrue. You'll also find a collection of lighthearted, funny jokes about being "whipped" that you can use to make your friends and family laugh.
Quick Jump To
- Short Whipped Jokes
- Whipped One Liners
- Being Whipped Jokes
- Whipped Cream Jokes
- Whipped Husband Jokes
- More Whipped Jokes
Funniest Whipped Short Jokes
Short whipped jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The whipped humour may include short whips jokes also.
- I was angry at my friend and he sarcastically asked "what would Jesus do?" So I flipped over the table and chased him from the building with a whip.
- My farmer friend told me that horse manure is excellent for strawberries. I said, You may be right, but I still prefer whipped cream.
- I'm kinda new to gardening... Someone suggested I put horse manure on my strawberries.
Well, I'm never doing that again...
I'll just stick to whipped cream. - Why did the accordion player become a chef? He knew how to whip up a great melody and mix it with harmony.
- I was pulled over by the police today, so I whipped out my nine millimetre... After they stopped laughing, they arrested me for indecent exposure.
- I was having a look... In my mothers bedroom the other day and I found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in her wardrobe. I couldn't believe it... My mothers a superhero!!!!!
- Did you hear about the woman who ordered a double entendre at the bar? The bartender reached under the bar whipped it out and gave it to her
- I was wondering if anyone would be willing to support a petition to modernize the name of the Pope Mobile. I think we should call it the Miracle Whip. It's got more of a tangy zip to it.
- A joke from Civil War History Class today Teacher asks: 'The southern plantations were very wealthy. Exactly how much of that wealth did the slaves get?'
Student answers: 'A whip' - I saw a whip under my grandparent's bed, I asked my grandpa what it was for He said, "beats me"
Share These Whipped Jokes With Friends
Whipped One Liners
Which whipped one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with whipped? I can suggest the ones about whipping cream and whack.
- To all the philosophy majors out there... Can I get a Grande Mocha with whip please?
- Rihanna says that whips and chains excite her... I wonder if her ancestors felt the same
- Here I thought 3.5 would never impress a girl but then I whipped out my credit card.
- Why was the cook arrested? He was beating the eggs and whipping the cream.
- Which superhero loves to whip out his junk in public? The Flash
- Why are chefs the meanest? Because they beat the eggs and whip the cream
- When are cooks at their meanest? When they mercilessly beat the eggs and whip the cream!
- What do you call a white guy in an abusive relationship? Whipped cream.
- If you let Jesus take the wheel... Does that count as ghost riding the whip?
- Why don't people like the Congressional whip? He always votes nay-nay
- I like my cream like I like my slaves. Whipped.
*I'm so sorry* - What is a southern aristocratic families favourite dance move? The whip
- My parents used to be beat me so hard I thought the crack of a whip was my name.
- Does Indiana Jones like foreplay? No, he just whips it out.
- That chef must be sadistic. He's always beating eggs and whipping cream.
Being Whipped Jokes
Here is a list of funny being whipped jokes and even better being whipped puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Last night, a man assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese. Not much to say really, I got whipped and he got charged with assault and buttery.
- A sign on the Golden Gate Bridge reads: "Now entering San Francisco, chains required… …whips optional"
- I have the work ethic of an ox - If you tie a yoke to my shoulders and whip me until I move, I'm probably going to get a lot done.
- The Whip was especially popular In the 1800's
- Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream! - Why did the chef get arrested? Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
- I just saw the neighbor's kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I'm thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn't supposed to...
- How does a cat make whipped cream? With it's whiskers.
- Great things come in small packages Is what i say everytime before i whip it out.
- I like my men like I like my yogurt Whipped
Whipped Cream Jokes
Here is a list of funny whipped cream jokes and even better whipped cream puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The best part about my wife deserting me was When she finished me off with whipped cream
- I really dislike whipped cream There's actually only one way I liked whipped cream, but that's personal.
- What do you call a dairy product madly in love? Whipped cream
- What did the whip cream say to Indiana Jones? Cool Whip
- Chefs are violent people... They beat eggs and whip cream.
- What do you call a black dairy farmer Whipped cream.
- My wife is getting fatter... I noticed when her whip cream bikini turned into a one piece
- Why did the cook go to jail? For beating the eggs and whipping the cream!
- What is a b**... couple's favorite dessert? Whipped cream pie.
- What do you call a white s**...? Whipped Cream
Whipped Husband Jokes
Here is a list of funny whipped husband jokes and even better whipped husband puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do black men make such good husbands? Because they're already used to being whipped.
- I need advice. I was whipping someone in a gimp mask during a b**... session, but when he took it off - it wasn't my husband. Whoops, wrong sub.
- Mom finds chains and whips in sons room So she goes and ask her husband what they should do about his b**... issue. The dad says, well I definitely wouldn't s**... him
Comedy Whipped Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about whipped you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean whisk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make whipped pranks.
A politicians promise
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.
"I'll do whatever I can for my constituents"
A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
"We have two big needs," said the village headman. "First, we have a hospital but no doctor."
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while, and then said, "I have it sorted out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?"
"We have no cellphone reception at all in our village."
A politician visited a village in India..
A politician visited an Indian village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in the village.
A POLITICIAN visited a village and asked what their needs were
We have 2 basic needs, sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's not the doctor.
On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.
A 96 year old man...
After marrying a beautiful young woman, a 96 year old man informed his doctor that he and his new wife were expecting a baby.
"Let me tell you a story," the doctor said. "An absentminded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he accidentally brought his umbrella on the trip. When he was in the woods, a bear charged him unexpectedly. The man whipped out his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and shot and killed it on the spot."
"That's impossible!" the elderly man exclaimed. "Someone else shot the bear."
"My point exactly," the doctor replied.
For hundreds of years they were forced to work for us across our nation, tirelessly and without monetary compensation. They were whipped, and tied to wooden posts. Even today, they are exploited for sports and entertainment.
Man, horses must really hate us.
Politicians these days.
A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
We have two big needs, said the village headman. First, we have a hospital but no doctor.
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said: I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?
We have no cellphone reception at all in our village.
A politician visited a small remote rural town and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
"We have two big needs," said the Town Mayor. "First, we have a clinic but no doctors."
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said, "I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?"
"We have no cell phone reception at all in our town.
I'm opening up a snack shop in DC.
I'm opening up a snack shop in DC. We will serve things like:
Triple fudge brownie sunday with double whipped cream, only 100 calories!
Cheesy deep fried nachos, more vitamins and less fat than a salad!
I'll call my shop "Alternative Snacts".
What do you call an albino in a b**... scene?
Whipped cream.
How Worcestershire Sauce got its name
In the late 1800s in New Orleans a chef in a restaurant had just whipped up a concoction to be applied to meat and he asked a waiter to take it out to a well-lubed patron for a test. The diner was of course most agreeable and added quite a bit of it to his cut of beef. Upon tasting it, he rather liked it and turned around to hail the waiter by clumsily calling out, "Hey, whorsh diss'here sauce??", and so the name was thereupon given.
A chef asked a server for some items from the back.
The server returned n**... with a smile and a can of whipped cream, and the chef angrily exclaimed...
"THIS IS NEITHER THE THYME NOR THE PLATES!"
My boss refused to give me a raise until I whipped him with my belt.
It took some feirce negotiating, but he finally buckled.
A California state trooper pulled over a driver who ran a stop sign.
"C'mon, Officer. I slowed down, didn't I?" argued the driver.
"But you must come to a complete stop at the sign," said the trooper.
"'Stop.' 'Slow down.' What's the difference, really?" quibbled the driver.
The cop was so irritated that he whipped out his billy club and started hitting the man's arm with it, shouting, "Well, do you want me to stop or slow down?!"
What is a s**... master's favorite dessert?
Whipped cream.
I'm a d**... and I was supposed to be whipping a blonde client...but instead I whipped a brunette...
Whoops - wrong sub...
