The Best 10 Whew Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Whew jokes. There are some whew jeez jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these whew whoa puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Whew Jokes and Puns

Barack Obama is having a race with Joe Biden around the white house.

After finishing the race Obama says "Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"

Biden replies "No, Bush did 9:11."

Five Things

Here are the five best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk at work: 5) "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 4) "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to." 3) "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time." 2) "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" And the number one best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: 1) Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, amen."

I had to get a Mastectomy last year...

Whew, glad I got that off my chest.

What'd the gay deer say when leaving the bar?

"Whew! I just blew 50 bucks!"

A young man is out for his first date with an older lady...

It goes very well, and they wind up in the back seat of his car, messing around.

"Put a finger in me..." she whispers.

"Okay.."

"Now put two fingers in..."

"Okay..."

"Put *four* in, baby..."

"Alright..."

"Now put your whole hand in!"

"Urgggh...! Okay..."

"Oh, yes! Now put your other hand in!"

"Uhhhhhrrrrg! Whew! Done!"

"Now clap!"

"Rrrrggghhh!!! I... I can't!"

"Tight, eh!?"


Doctor: Your dad's not with us anymore

Me: Damn, what happened?

Doctor: He's at a different hospital

Me: Oh, whew

Doctor: Dead tho

I spent over an hour at my wife's grave yesterday...

whew, that was the longest I've ever lasted

My heart sank when I received the text message "I am breaking up with you. It's over between us" from my partner.

But "Sorry, wrong number baby" came afterwards. Whew, what a relief!

A Catholic school teacher asks the children who they want to be when they grow up

A Catholic school teacher asks the children who they want to be when they grow up when one girl raises her hand and says "I want to be a prostitute"

"A WHAT???" yells the incredulous teacher

"A prostitute" says the girl calmly

"Whew thank Heavens, I thought you said 'Protestant'"

After sex...

Guy: I think we should have used a condom.

Girl: No problem, I can't get pregnant...

Guy: Whew!

Girl: ...because of my AIDS medicine.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the whew argh jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working whew yup piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes