Whew Jokes
8 whew jokes and hilarious whew puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about whew that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uproarious Whew Jokes to Share with Friends
What is a good whew joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Barack Obama is having a race with joe Biden around the white house.
After finishing the race Obama says "Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"
Biden replies "No, Bush did 9:11."
Five Things
Here are the five best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk at work: 5) "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 4) "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to." 3) "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time." 2) "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" And the number one best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: 1) Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, amen."
Once there was a guy named Bill who wanted a horse.
On Craigslist, Bill saw a Christian horse so he went to check it out.
When Bill got to the ranch, the horse's owner said "It's easy to ride him. Just say 'praise the Lord' to make him go, and 'amen' to make him stop." Bill got on the horse and said "praise the Lord." the horse started to walk. "Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, praise the Lord" and the horse is running. Now Bill sees the cliff and says: "AMEN."
The horse stops and Bill says: "Whew! Praise the lord!"
I had to get a Mastectomy last year...
Whew, glad I got that off my chest.
What'd the gay deer say when leaving the bar?
"Whew! I just blew 50 bucks!"
A young man is out for his first date with an older lady...
It goes very well, and they wind up in the back seat of his car, messing around.
"Put a finger in me..." she whispers.
"Okay.."
"Now put two fingers in..."
"Okay..."
"Put *four* in, baby..."
"Alright..."
"Now put your whole hand in!"
"Urgggh...! Okay..."
"Oh, yes! Now put your other hand in!"
"Uhhhhhrrrrg! Whew! Done!"
"Now clap!"
"Rrrrggghhh!!! I... I can't!"
"Tight, eh!?"
Two muffins in an oven
One muffin leans over to the other and says whew man it's getting hot in here.
Then the other muffin says Holy s**... a talking muffin!!
Doctor: Your dad's not with us anymore
Me: d**..., what happened?
Doctor: He's at a different hospital
Me: Oh, whew
Doctor: Dead tho
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