wheezing Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious wheezing puns

Which of these two jokes with roughly the same theme is better?

A. A Christian is drowning in the sea. A boat comes up the crew tries to save them, but he says "no, God will save me!" Later another boat comes up and tries to save him again, but he insists that God will save him. Later a third boat comes along. The Christian is wheezing, gasping, almost exhausted, but manages to wheeze out "no, God will save me!" Then he drowns. In Heaven, he asks God why he didn't save him. God says "I sent you three boats!"

B. An atheist is drowning in the sea. Getting desperate, he says to himself "Okay, God, I know I've never believed in you before, but if you save me, I'll not only become a believer, I'll become the best believer. I'll go to church, do my best to never sin. Please save me." Then a boat suddenly appears out of nowhere with a crew getting their life saving equipment ready. The atheist says "Never mind, God: I got this!"


There was an old couple who wanted to have a child.

They went to a fertility clinic, and the doctor told them it was probably impossible, but they should still test. He handed the old man a jar and pointed to a bathroom down a hall. An hour later, they came out, wheezing and panting.
The old man says, I tried with my right hand, and my left, but couldn't get it. I had Mary Sue come in, and she tried with her left and her right. She even put her mouth around it, using her teeth and once without them. My daughter even tried by squeezing her thighs into it, and still nothing happened.
The old woman says, We just couldn't get that damn jar open.



I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.


i had an asthma attack

with all that wheezing you would of thought i would have heard them hiding


What do you call an asthmatic statue?

A wheezing angle.


What are the most funny Wheezing jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Wheezing? Well, here are the best Wheezing dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Wheezing pick up lines to share with friends.


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