Wheels Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Wheels puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Wheels

What has 4 wheels and flies?

A garbage truck

...I'll see myself out.

What happened with the wooden car with wooden wheels, wooden seats, and a wooden engine?

It wooden go.

Recently, i've tried to make a car without wheels.

I've been working on it tirelessly.

Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia.

Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia. He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video - its hilarious.

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

I'm sorry.

Two pilots are landing a plane.

Two pilots are preparing to land and they're coming in hot. The wheels touch the tarmac and before you know it they're off the other end. 100mph through the grass, the fence and they smash through the gates. Glass and bags go everywhere.

When they finally come to a stop the pilot looks at his co-pilot and says "That was the shortest runway I've ever seen!"

The co-pilot says" Yeah, but wasn't it wide!

Think New Yorkers don't get along? I just saw two complete strangers share a cab...

One took the wheels and tires, the other took the battery and the radio.

What has four wheels and can't support a family?

A liberal arts major.

I lied about the wheels.

What is green, has 8 wheels, and flies?

A garbage truck

What has four wheels and flys?

A garbage truck.

Did you hear the one about the wooden car? With the wooden wheels? And the wooden engine?

.... it wooden work

How many NASCAR fans does it take to change a tire?

None - they took the wheels off their homes years ago.

A car carrying 3 men broke down in the middle of a desert...

"Let's each take a part and try to make it back to civilization." One of them suggested. They all agreed it was a good idea.

"I'll take the hood," said the first, "This way if I find myself atop a hill, I can slide down quickly, like a sled."

"I'll take the wheels," said the second, "In case I want to bring something with me I can roll it along instead of carrying it."

"I'll take the door." Said the last, "If I get hot I can simply roll down the window."

Inner city youths

After seeing a documentary on how inner city youths can remove the wheels of a car in under 4 seconds with no specialist equipment, the Mc Laren team decided to fire their pit crew and hire four of the inner city youths as most races could be won or lost in the pits.
the first race came along and the car came into the pits. The youths went to work but the Mc Laren team boss noticed a real problem.
Not only had the youths replaced all four wheels within 4 seconds, but within 10 seconds, they'd re-sprayed and re-numbered the car and sold it to the Ferrari Team!.

A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars

Police are working tirelessly to catch him

A mom caught her son jacking in the garage...

...she said to him, "Look son, I know you are at the age where you are curious and want to experiment with these kinds of things.... but please stop trying to remove the wheels of the car!"

What is green and has wheels

Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Did you hear about that new car made entirely from wood? It's crazy! Wooden wheels, wooden windows, wooden engine...

Wooden move.

What does it mean when you have wheels and a country girl wants you?

It means you *a tractor*

So a cat goes to heaven and the lord says he'll grant him one wish...

So a cat goes to heaven and the lord says he'll grant him one wish. The cat says, "Lord, I'd like a fluffy pillow to lay on." So the lord gave him a fluffy pillow.

The next day, three mice died and went to heaven. The lord said he'd grant them one wish. The mice said, "Lord, we'd like to have roller skates so we can skate in heaven." So the lord gave the mice roller skates.

The next day, the lord visited the cat and asked, "How is your fluffy pillow?"
The cat replied, "I'm loving the fluffy pillow. But you know what I love even more? Those meals on wheels."

...
An old lady stood at the check out where I work for two minutes, after I checked her out, just to tell me this. I laughed way too hard.

What's green with little red wheels?

Grass. I was lying about the little red wheels.


Missing my grandpa today. This was always his favorite.

Did you hear about the mechanic who accidentally punctured the wheels of his car?

He retired.

What do cannibals call disabled people

Meals on wheels

They say when confronted by a bear, the best thing to do is play dead, so when I came face to face with one in the woods the other day, I accidentally played dad instead...

Now it can ride a bike without training wheels...

If a plane tries to land but can't deploy its wheels, what sound does it make when it bounces off the ground?

Boeing

An entrepreneurial blonde is looking for some extra cash

So she goes door to door asking people if they have any odd jobs they need done. Around the third house or so, a sharply dressed man answers the door. She inquires about the jobs, and the wheels in his head start turning. He's been meaning to paint the massive porch that takes up the entire rear of his massive house, but such a job would take at least 3 hours.

"I'll give you $20 to paint my porch out back while I'm gone. I already have the paint and everything."

She happily agrees and totes the paint out back. He chuckles to himself as he gets into one of his many cars and heads out. That dumb broad will be at it all day, and it only cost him $20.

He comes home later, and she's just finishing up. She sees him and jogs up.

He grins. "finished?" He asks.

"Yeah and I even gave it 2 coats!"

"Are you sure? I didn't think there was enough paint there for two coats of the entire porch."

"Sure there was! There was even a little left over! Though I should tell you, it's not pronounced 'porch', it's pronounced 'Porsche'."

What do you call oral sex with a paraplegic girl?

Meals on wheels.

What has 10 wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

What has 8 wheels and flies?

A dump truck

A cat and a mouse go to heaven

A cat and a mouse got to heaven, after a bit God goes to the mouse and asks "how do you like it up here?" The mouse replies "it's fine but I have a hard time getting around", God then snaps his fingers and gives the mouse a pair a wheels to roll around on. A little later God then goes to the cat and asks "how do you like it up here?" The cat replies "Oh I love it! I never had meals on wheels like this before!"

A teacher does a quiz with her class.

She asks the children:" So guys what walks on four legs and hurts to touch?" So one kid goes:" A hedgehog" the teacher responds:" I was thinking of a porcupine, but I like the way that you think, next question, what has wheels and takes me to school?" The same kid answers:" Your car". "It is my bike, but I like the way you think", the teacher says. So the kid asks if he can say a question and the teacher accepts. "What is hard, has a red head, and when you rub it right, its head explodes" the kid goes. The teacher turns red and angrily says that the kid will have detention. The kid just says:" It is a matchstick, but I like the way you think".

What do you call an attractive person in a wheel chair?

Hot wheels.

Wanted: a man has been stealing wheels off of police cars

police are working tirelessly to catch him.

Why do Mexicans always install those tiny steering wheels in their cars?

So they can drive with the handcuffs on.

I once set a crippled kid on fire...

I call it Hot Wheels

I used to have a full size wooden car. Wooden wheels, wooden engine, wooden seats.

BUT, when I tried to drive it, it wooden go.


Credit : u/johnnycrosshatch

What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user?

Meals on Wheels

Why does Thanos Car have top of the line tires?

The hardest choices require the strongest of wheels.

I removed the rubber from the wheels on my car

It is now working tirelessly

Why didn't the old truck go back to work when it got new wheels?

It was retired!

what does a zombie call a person in a wheelchair?

Meals on wheels

What do you do when your bicycle's wheels wear out?

You retire it.

What do you call a snowman on wheels?

A bICICLE





im so sorry...

What do you call a burn victim in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels.

Did you hear the one about the car with no wheels?

It doesn't really go anywhere.

The Irish are really far behind with technology...

Their bombs still have four wheels and a motor.

What kind of eels can travel on land?

Wheels.

A hundred and eighty five cheese wheels roll into a bar.

The bartender says "We don't serve cheese here!" The cheese wheels said "That's not a very gouadea"

A hundred and eighty five playing cards go into a bar. The Bartender says "We don't serve cards here!" The playing cards shuffled off.

A hundred and eighty five trees go into a bar. The bartender says 'We don't serve trees here!" The trees decided to leaf.

A hundred and eighty five vikings sailed into a bar. The bartender says 'We don't serve vikings here!" So they razed the bar.

A hundred and eighty five miners walked into a bar. The bartender says 'We don't serve miners here!" They said 'Don't worry, we have IDs."

May be behind but what do you call a Curiosity with only 2 wheels

Bi-curious

Why Are Firetrucks Red?

Firetrucks have 4 wheels and carry 8 men.

4 + 8 = 12

There are 12 inches in a ruler.

Queen Elizabeth was a ruler.

There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas.

Fish live in the seas.

Fish have fins.

People from Finland are called Fins.

Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago.

Russia has red on its flag.

And that's why they're red.

Cause they're always *russian* around.

The generals chauffeur was late...

and the general needed to be at a meeting on the other side of the base in ten minutes. The luckless private chauffeuring the jeep was going around corners on two wheels, running red lights and speeding like a maniac.

The general asks the private, "Son, do you know what the penalty is for making a general late for a meeting?"

The private, imagining firing squads, stammers "N-no sir! I don't!"

The general replies "Neither do I. But I bet it's a lot less than the penalty for maiming or killing one!"

Don't you hate it when people attach little steering wheels to their penises?

It drives me nuts.

What is the difference between a BMW and a baby carriage?

The baby carriage is the result of last year's fun on wheels.

What do you call paraplegics in a post-apocalypse?

meals on wheels

The Wooden Car

There was this guy who made a wooden car. It had wooden wheels, wooden tires, a wooden engine. But when he put the wooden key in, it wooden start.

If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house?

Seven because ice cream has no bones

Why are the wheels of the trains made with iron and not rubber?

Because if they were made with rubber, they would erase the line.

I had a douchbag whale as a flatmate once...

I had this douchebag whale as a flatmate once. He was really messy and never paid rent. Eventually the time came where I thought enough was enough and told him to leave, but, stubborn as he was, that didn't really work at all. So I hatched a plan. Late at night, when he was asleep, I secretly attached some wheels to his belly and pushed him out the door and back into the ocean and this time it worked wheely whale.

What do you call it when you go down on a paraplegic?

Meals on wheels

What has four wheels and flies?

A homeless cripple

Taped 4 pictures of Matthew Broderick to each of my rims.

Now I have Ferris Wheels.

What do you call a cripple in a zombie apocalypse?

Meals On Wheels!

Did you hear about the guy who made his Mustang go faster by removing the wheels?

His horse really sucked at using rollerskates.

If you ever feel like a third wheel, just stop....

You are not a third wheel. You are a majestic unicycle and they are your noble training wheels.

Why are firetrucks red?

Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight makes twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and the ship sailed the seas, and there were fish in the seas, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always Russian" around.

New Kind Of Car

At the bar, Tom and Bill were talking. My uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took the wheels from a Cadillac, the radiator from a Lexus, and tires from a Ford," said Tom.


What did he get?" asked Bill.


Two years, said Tom

What has more than three wheels and flies ?

Garbage trucks

When Apple created the $700 wheels...

Did they expect profits to start rolling in?

[NSFW] Cars and garages

A little girl walks up to her mother and she asks "What's this?" while pulling down her pants. Her mother responds: "That's your garage, don't let boys park their cars in your garage.". Next door, a little boy asks his dad the same question. His dad responds: "That's your car, you have to park it in a girl's garage.". A while later, the little girl comes home with blood on her hands. Her mother, terrified, asks her what happened. The little girl says "A boy tried to park his car in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off!".

What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion?

Hot wheels

(First joke, hope you like it.)

What do you call an anti-vaxxer driving a car?

Measles on wheels

My mate bought a new suitcase

My mate bought a new suitcase advertised as 'indestructible!', with a lifetime guarantee.

One week later one of the wheels broke clean off and the case would fall over when being used.

He tried to return his broken suitcase but the company refused to deal with him.

'Im going to sue!' my friend said angrily

I told him I would too but I was afraid his case wouldn't stand up in court.

What do you call a wheelchair on fire?

Hot Wheels.

Be careful hiking...

Hiking in the Ozark National Forest last weekend, I came upon a bear, and could not remember the proper course of action. Instead of playing dead I played *dad*.

Now that bear can ride a bike without training wheels.

I used to have a toy car with square wheels

It was a terrible roll model

When does a dog have wheels?

When its tail is a wagon.

A clown was killed today after his baggy suit caught on the wheels of a passing truck; Newspapers report he was simply a victim of circus pants.

How to cannibals refer to parapalegics?

Meals on wheels.

(This is tru) yesterday, I was with my niece, and she came round the corner on her bike with stabilisers, 'look dad, no hands', 'that's coz you have 4 wheels millie' said her dad, 'and you're always scared when I go no hands' and then he said:

'I have 4 wheels in my car too'

If a car is going 30 km/h and makes a 35-degree turn, which of its wheels turns the slowest?

The spare tire...

Why can't wheels concentrate?

Because they're always tired.

I did a mile on my exercise bike this morning.

It was hard as it has no wheels.

What's green and has wheels.

A dolphin.
I lied about the wheels.
I also lied about it being green.
I lied about the whole thing.

How do hot wheels cars go faster?

You step on it

I just bought a car. This sweet ride has four wheels and flies

Its a garbage truck

What do you call clothing on wheels?

Attire

What did the car say when it's front wheels were stolen?

I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.

I'm going to put wheels on a mattress

it shall be called the tempur-speedic

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes