wheelchair Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious wheelchair puns

My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair

Guess who came crawling back

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I dated a girl in a wheelchair

She broke up with me because I kept pushing her around.

I said, "why don't you stand up for yourself?"

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My Son is such a c**t...

I bought him a new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

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To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide, but you can't run.

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To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket,

You can hide, but you can't run.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair

Virgin Mobile

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A wife says to her husband

... "I don't like you pushing me around all the time and talking behind my back"

Husband say "Well honey what do you expect you're in a wheelchair"

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My son is such a prick. I bought him a trampoline and he won't even jump on it.

He just sits in his wheelchair and cries.

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I got my son a trampoline for his birthday but nooooooo..

... he just wants to sit in his wheelchair and cry ...

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My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline for his birthday..

..And all he wanted to do was sit in his wheelchair and cry.

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A wheelchair user rides towards a bar.

On his way in he notices a man stood by the door smoking a cig.

The wheelchair user looks at the smoker and says "you do know that there is no reason for doing that at all. It won't make you feel better. It won't help you to fit in. It won't make you look cool."

"Really" says the smoker. "So why the fuck are you wearing those Nike sneakers?"

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My girlfriend broke up with me cause I stole her wheelchair

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

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My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

It's ok though, she always comes crawling back.

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A husband asks his wife...

Husband: Darling, if I lost my vision would you be my eyes?

Wife: Honey, of course I would.

Husband: If I lost my hearing would you be my ears?

Wife: Absolutely sweetheart.

Husband: If I lost my legs would you push me around in a wheelchair?

Wife: You don't need to ask. Why all the questions?

Husband: I just sprained my wrist...

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A schoolboy rescues President Trump

A schoolboy walking home from school see Donald Trump* drowning in a pond. He dives him and saves him.

The president is very grateful and offers him a gift as a reward.

"All I want is a wheelchair" says the boy.

A wheelchair? Why do you need a wheelchair? the president asks.

Well, the boy explains, when my old man finds out I rescued you from drowning, he's gonna break both my legs.

*(

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I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday...

But all the little shit did was sit in his wheelchair and cry.

PS:Not sure if this one has been on here before or not, a friend told it to me and I thought it should go here.

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An old Jewish man dies.

His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.

He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".

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My girlfriend broke up with me for stealing her wheelchair

But I'm not bothered, I know she'll come crawling back any day now

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Kids are really unappreciative sometimes

I got my little cousin Timmy a 1000 dollar trampoline and that little shit was still unhappy!

All he fucking did was sit in his wheelchair and cry

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I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up.

Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll.

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Kids are so ungrateful these days.

I got my 11 year old nephew a trampoline for his birthday, and instead of thanking me, the little cunt just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

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My wife left me

According to her, she is sick of me talking behind her back and pushing her around.

In my defence, she's in a wheelchair.

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I knew she'd come crawling to me..

I mean, I DID steal her wheelchair

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I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, and he hasn't even used it.

He just sits and cries in his wheelchair.

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A bloke in a wheelchair stole my camouflage stuff

I told him 'you can hide but you can't run'.

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The wife told me she's sick of me pushing her around and talking behind her back.

I said "Well you are in a wheelchair"

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To the guy in a wheelchair that stole my phone

You can hide but you can't run

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

Don't even try and tell me that joke was offensive. Atleast it wasn't a blind joke. I can't see how those are funny.

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What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common?

They both can be used to carry vegetables....

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Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night...

He was so bad, a man in a wheelchair got up and walked out.

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A wife says to her husband...

"You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheelchair."

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My mate Dave...

My mate Dave was in a bad mood the other day, i asked him why he was so pissed off? "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back" to which i replied "but Dave, you're in a wheelchair..."

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An elderly lady is sitting in a wheelchair ....

A young man approaches and asks her what her last wish is, she says "I've never been kissed" so he kisses her. "Any more last wishes?" He asks, "I've never been fucked" she replies, so the young man takes her to the river side and leaves her there. "Well you're fucked now"

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I was bullied...

When I was a little kid this other kid in a wheelchair used to bully me but I couldn't do anything about it because I felt bad making fun of him. So for the rest of my life people knew me as the guy who "couldn't stand up for himself" and I think that's ironic considering it all.

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I knew you'd come crawling back

the minute I stole your wheelchair

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What are the most funny Wheelchair jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Wheelchair? Well, here are the best Wheelchair dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Wheelchair pick up lines to share with friends.

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