Wheelchair Jokes

154 wheelchair jokes and hilarious wheelchair puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wheelchair that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of wheelchair jokes. Whether you use a wheelchair yourself or know someone who does, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Wheelchair Short Jokes

Short wheelchair jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wheelchair humour may include short handicapped jokes also.

  1. I dated a girl in a wheelchair She broke up with me because I kept pushing her around.
    I said, "why don't you stand up for yourself?"
  2. Last week, My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her Wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back.
  3. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
  4. So I broke up with my handicapped girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.. But guess who came crawling back!!?!
  5. Why are people in wheelchairs always getting taken advantage of? Because they're easy to push around and never stand up for themselves
  6. A wife says to her husband ... "I don't like you pushing me around all the time and talking behind my back"
    Husband say "Well honey what do you expect you're in a wheelchair"
  7. I got my son a trampoline for his birthday but nooooooo.. ... he just wants to sit in his wheelchair and cry ...
  8. My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline for his birthday.. ..And all he wanted to do was sit in his wheelchair and cry.
  9. I told my wife, You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. She said, What do you expect — you're in a wheelchair!
  10. My girlfriend broke up with me cause I stole her wheelchair But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

Share These Wheelchair Jokes With Friends

Wheelchair One Liners

Which wheelchair one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wheelchair? I can suggest the ones about stroller and walking cane.

  1. My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
  2. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket You can hide but you can't run
  3. I knew she'd come crawling to me.. I mean, I DID steal her wheelchair
  4. To the guy in the wheelchair that stole my camo suit. You can hide but you cant run.
  5. To the guy in a wheelchair that stole my phone You can hide but you can't run
  6. I knew you'd come crawling back the minute I stole your wheelchair
  7. Why can't people in wheelchairs be looked at for too long? The can't handle stares.
  8. I saw a guy in a wheelchair being made fun of I told him to stand up for himself.
  9. What should you do before cooking the vegetables? Remove the wheelchair
  10. Mexican word of the day: wheelchair Theirs only 1 taco left, so wheel chair.
  11. Which part of a vegetable isn't edible? His wheelchair.
  12. What's the hardest part about eating a vegtable? The wheelchair.
  13. What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable? Fitting the wheelchair in the oven.
  14. You know what they say about about wheelchairs People can't stand being in them
  15. I got ran over by someone in a wheelchair It was a hit and can't run.

Wheelchair Bound Jokes

Here is a list of funny wheelchair bound jokes and even better wheelchair bound puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There's this wheelchair bound kid that gets bullied alot. It's really sad cause he can't seem to stand up for himself.
  • My wheelchair bound girlfriend broke up with me. I think it was because she couldn't stand me.
  • What did the wheelchair-bound software developer say when asked to speak at an Apple Keynote? "Sorry, but I don't do stand-up comedy."
  • What do you call a wheelchair bound Leo? HanDicaprio. .
  • So I saw a kid getting bullied at my school today... I would've stood up for him, but I'm bound to a wheelchair.
  • My friends attitude changed ever since he was left wheelchair bound He used to be a stand-up guy
  • Why does the canibal only eat wheelchair bounds? Because he's a vegetarian
  • Lego introduces a wheelchair bound minifig. He lost his mobility after stepping on a lego.
  • Why did the wheelchair-bound girlfriend break up with her boyfriend? He kept pushing her around.
  • What do you call a wheelchair-bound nun who lives high up on a mountain? A) High roller
    B) v**... mobile
    C) Nun of the above

Wheelchair User Jokes

Here is a list of funny wheelchair user jokes and even better wheelchair user puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why are wheelchair users fans of liverpool FC? Because they'll never walk alone.
  • What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user? Meals on Wheels
  • Paralampics Three wheelchair users in the Paralympics have tested positive for WD40
  • Wheelchair tax The new tax on wheelchairs has been met with major resistance, with some users refusing to stand for it.
  • How do wheelchair users communicate at long distances? Not with walkie talkies
  • My wife always pushes me around and talks behind my back. Guess it's okay 'cause I'm a wheelchair user.
  • why the wheelchair user doesn't play tapes? Because he isn't a walkman.
  • whats the worse part about eating a crippled? The wheelchair
    (no offence to wheelchair users)
Wheelchair joke, whats the worse part about eating a crippled?

Wheelchair Ramp Jokes

Here is a list of funny wheelchair ramp jokes and even better wheelchair ramp puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I have a confession. Lately I've been greasing up all the wheelchair ramps around town. I've tried so hard to stop, but once you start it's a really slippery slope...
  • I went on a date with a girl in a wheelchair... I stood her up, and thats when she fell for me, now were on a roll, I just have to figure out how to ramp it up in the bedroom.
  • What did the ramp say to the man in a wheelchair? I'm inclined to help you get to where you need to go

Confined Wheelchair Jokes

Here is a list of funny confined wheelchair jokes and even better confined wheelchair puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about that priest that turned to alcohol and drugs after he was confined to a wheelchair? He's no longer an upstanding member of the community.
Wheelchair joke, Did you hear about that priest that turned to alcohol and drugs after he was confined to a wheelchai

Entertaining Wheelchair Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about wheelchair you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wheelbarrow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wheelchair pranks.

I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up.

Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll.

What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common?

They both can be used to carry vegetables....

Tim is out drinking one night...

He wants to go home but is extremely drunk so he decides to walk. After two steps he falls down. He stands up, walks another two steps and falls down again. This continues all the way home where he climbs up the stairs in agony but doesn't utter a single groan since he doesn't want his wife to notice and gets into bed next to her, makes sure he didn't wake her up and sleeps.
The next day, his wife tells him: "Tim, you m**...! Didn't I tell you not to go out drinking??? You're a dead loss!" - "But how did you know?" - "You forgot your wheelchair at the bar, that's why!"

A r**... family was visiting the city...

...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."

Are people in wheelchairs okay with jokes being made about them?

I don't know where they stand on the issue.

People keep pushing me around and calling me lazy...

I don't care what they say though this wheelchair is the best thing I ever bought!

So an old Jewish man dies

So an old Jewish man dies and as per his last wish, his son goes to the newspaper publisher and asks, "How much for an obituary in your newspaper?"
Publisher says, "$5 per word".
The son says, "Publish 'Jacob Goldberg Dead' ".
The publisher says, "We require minimum 6 words".
So the son says, "In that case make it 'Jacob Goldberg Dead, Wheelchair For Sale' ".

I don't like the song Stairway To Heaven

because it implies that heaven is not wheelchair accessible.

A man sits at a bar...

...After the third beer he decides to go home. He tries to walk out, but as soon as he is off his chair he falls on the ground. He figures he's probably not drunk enough. He orders another one, tries to go, but again falls on the ground. After two more beers and tries he decides just to crawl home.
The next morning his wife says to him in the bed.
"You were in the bar last night."
"How did you know?"
"The bartender called. You forgot your wheelchair."

I thought my son would be glad and appreciate that I got him a trampoline

But nooo, all he does is sit and cry in his wheelchair all day

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

It's ok though, she always comes crawling back.

In a hospital

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.
A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"
He said, "I heard the nurse say, It's a very simple operation, don't worry. I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you. What's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair

v**... Mobile

What did Steven hawking say when he first got his wheelchair?

I can't stand being in this

What's the worst pick up line to use on someone in a wheelchair?

did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

There's a new wheelchair party forming

But it doesn't really stand for anything.
(At least it'll always have a spokes person)

My wife doesn't think I'm a good man...

My wife doesn't think I'm a good man because I'm always pushing her around and talking behind her back but what does she expect?, she's in a wheelchair.

My wife is kind of lazy

We were watching an item on the news yesterday, about a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic who could play the (specially adapted) flute beautifully.
"Oh my god." She said, tears welling in her eyes, "I'd love to be able to do that."
"What, play the flute?" I asked.
"No, sit down all day."

A guy in a wheelchair sped over my foot.

"You better watch where you're going next time." I told him.
He said, "I'm handicapped, you can't do anything."
I said, "No, you're handicapped, you can't do anything."

Husband Wanted

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again.

She put an ad in the local paper that read:


On the second day, she heard the doorbell.
Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair.
He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!
The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'
She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!'
Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!'
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said,
'Rang the doorbell, didn't I?'

A husband asks his wife...

Husband: Darling, if I lost my vision would you be my eyes?
Wife: Honey, of course I would.
Husband: If I lost my hearing would you be my ears?
Wife: Absolutely sweetheart.
Husband: If I lost my legs would you push me around in a wheelchair?
Wife: You don't need to ask. Why all the questions?
Husband: I just sprained my wrist...

Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night...

He was so bad, a man in a wheelchair got up and walked out.

A bloke in a wheelchair stole my camouflage stuff

I told him 'you can hide but you can't run'.

I had a friend in a wheelchair but i had to let him go

Now hes going downhill fast

Why do people in wheelchairs have such low confidence?

Because they never stand up for themselves.

People in wheelchairs just don't get humor.

They never know when you're pulling their leg.

My wife left me

According to her, she is sick of me talking behind her back and pushing her around.

In my defence, she's in a wheelchair.

What's the worst thing about eating vegetables?

Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done.

The wife told me she's sick of me pushing her around and talking behind her back.

I said "Well you are in a wheelchair"

An old Jewish man dies.

His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.
He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".

Wheelchair athletes have just been banned from the Paralympics

They tested positive for WD40

I asked a librarian if there are any books on discrimination against people in wheelchairs.

She replied "Yes, it's up the stairs, on the top shelf to the left."

I'm sitting in a bar having a drink ...

... and I see man fall down. I go over and pick him up. "Bartender, do you know where this man lives? I'll give him a lift home." He tells me where he lives. I grab the guy, pull him down to the car, put him in the car, he falls into the backseat. I get to the address, pull the man out, he falls down three more times, I pick him up each time. I knock on the door, his wife answers. I say "I brought your husband home." She says "Where's his wheelchair?"

What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat?

The wheelchair...

Please stop

A guy jumps a car on a bike and crashes hard. doctors amputate both his legs.Being the daredevil that he is he jumps his wheelchair over a bus and again crashes even harder. He's so messed up now the doctors have to do a full body amputation.His family plead with him to stop while he's ahead.

I bought my son a trampoline

But all he wanted to do was sit and cry in his wheelchair
- This was a repost but I thought it was too funny not to share

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

Don't even try and tell me that joke was offensive. Atleast it wasn't a blind joke. I can't see how those are funny.

What is the worst thing about farming vegetables?

The wheelchairs are too expensive.

A boy just saved Donald Trump's life.

And Trump says he can have anything he wants.
The boy asks for a wheelchair ramp for his family's van, and unlimited access to handicapped parking.
Trump asks the boy if this is for his mom or his dad.
The boy says that it's for him.
"But kid, you're not in a wheelchair." says Trump.
"I will be when my dad finds out what I've done."

Wheelchairs should have pedals on them

So if you get tired of using your arms you can pedal

Why are people in wheelchairs so chill?

They roll with the punches

Today I was in the elevator with a guy who only rode to the second floor. He couldn't even bother to take one flight of stairs?

How lazy. That's probably how he got to be in a wheelchair.

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, and he hasn't even used it.

He just sits and cries in his wheelchair.

I was able to sell a lot of vegetables yesterday!

Still don't know what to do with the wheelchairs though.

Told my boss he needs winter tires

Got fired. Apparently that's something offensive to say to people in wheelchairs.

My girlfriend broke up with me for stealing her wheelchair

But I'm not bothered, I know she'll come crawling back any day now

A woman, tired of living alone, decides to put an ad in the local paper.

She asks for three things:
1. A man who will treat her nicely,
2. A man who won't leave her, and
3. A man who is good in bed.
Several weeks go buy without a result, and the woman is resigned to life without a man who can embody those qualities. Then, the doorbell rings and she opens it to find an armless, legless man in a wheelchair. He says, "I'm here about the ad in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms, so I can't beat you, and I have no legs, so I can't run away from you." The woman is skeptical, and asks, "Yeah, but are you good in bed?" The man answers, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

I was bullied...

When I was a little kid this other kid in a wheelchair used to bully me but I couldn't do anything about it because I felt bad making fun of him. So for the rest of my life people knew me as the guy who "couldn't stand up for himself" and I think that's ironic considering it all.

A schoolboy rescues President Trump

A schoolboy walking home from school see Donald Trump* drowning in a pond. He dives him and saves him.
The president is very grateful and offers him a gift as a reward.
"All I want is a wheelchair" says the boy.
A wheelchair? Why do you need a wheelchair? the president asks.
Well, the boy explains, when my old man finds out I rescued you from drowning, he's gonna break both my legs.

My ex is still angry with me for breaking her wheelchair

I'm fine though, I know she'll come crawling back to me soon enough.

My Son is such a c**t...

I bought him a new trampoline for christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.

I hate when people say tomatoes are fruits and not vegetables.

If a gay dude in a wheelchair can be both, why can't a tomato.

Why do you never see gay men in wheelchairs?

Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?


Today I watched a video called 10 best wheelchairs in the world.

Bellow the video it said comments are disabled.

In the weeks leading up to my grandfathers death he had to use a wheelchair.

After that he went downhill very quickly.

Did you hear about the depressed guy in a wheelchair?

He couldn't stand himself.

You know what people in wheelchairs can't stand


A blind man and a man in a wheelchair are having a conversation.

The man in the wheelchair says: "hey look! A spider" to which the blind man replied "step on it"

Wheelchair joke, A blind man and a man in a wheelchair are having a conversation.

jokes about wheelchair