Wheel Jokes
173 wheel jokes and hilarious wheel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wheel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article presents a variety of hilarious jokes centered around wheels and the many things that use wheels. From a third wheel in relationships to a spinning wheel of fortune, discover the funniest jokes related to car axles, Ferris wheels, steering wheels, wagon wheels, and Big Wheels.
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Funniest Wheel Short Jokes
Short wheel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wheel humour may include short wagon jokes also.
- My uncle was taking our picture at a dairy farm in Wisconsin when he was crushed by a giant wheel of cheese. We tried to warn him.
- What happened with the wooden car with wooden wheels, wooden seats, and a wooden engine? It wooden go.
- Why is it wrong to bully people in wheel chair? Because they can't stand up for themselves.
- Wheel chair bound congressman Madison Cawthorn lost his primary tonight. Now it's not just his doctors telling him that he can no longer run.
- My Grandfather built me a car entirely out of wood It had wooden seats, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden floors and a wooden engine. Unfortunately when I tried to start it, it wooden work.
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants Bartender: "Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
Pirate: "Arrrr, it's driving me nuts!" - I just got a wooden motorcycle. It has a wooden frame, wooden handle bars, wooden wheels, and a wooden seat. Guess what? It wooden start.
- A photographer was killed on the job. His photography subjects tried to warn him but apparently a giant wheel of coagulated milk crushed him.
- WANTED: Someone has stolen the wheels to the police cars The police is working tirelessly to find the suspect
- Think New Yorkers don't get along? I just saw two complete strangers share a cab... One took the wheels and tires, the other took the battery and the radio.
Share These Wheel Jokes With Friends
Wheel One Liners
Which wheel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wheel? I can suggest the ones about heels and shaft.
- What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck
...I'll see myself out. - Jesus, take the wheel Carlos, take the stereo
- Recently, i've tried to make a car without wheels. I've been working on it tirelessly.
- What happened after the wheel was invented a revolution
- My hamster died... He fell asleep at the wheel.
- What do you call a ring of iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
- What has wheels and flies but it isn't an aircraft? A Garbage truck
- Mexican word of the day: wheelchair Theirs only 1 taco left, so wheel chair.
- The guy who fell off the ferris wheel is at the hospital.. He's in fair condition.
- I said Jesus take the wheel. He said I no have license, amigo.
- What's Iron Man's favorite carnival ride? The ferrous wheel.
- Why did the 3-wheeled car kill itself? It lost its wheel to live.
- Did you hear about the invention of the wheel? They say it started a revolution.
- I've got a steering wheel in my pants.. and it's driving me nuts.
- What is green and has wheels Grass. I lied about the wheels.
Steering Wheel Jokes
Here is a list of funny steering wheel jokes and even better steering wheel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Women are responsible for roughly 45% of car accidents Which is pretty high, considering the steering wheel isn't even on their side.
- Why couldn't stevie wonder drive the bus? There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus.
- Def leopard is the safest band to air drum to while driving Because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.
Yeah, I know its Def Leppard, auto correct messed that up for me. - Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died. And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. When the bartender points it out, the pirate replies "Arrrgh, it's been driving me nuts all day."
- Ever driven a car with no steering wheel? It's pretty straight forward.
- Someone stole my car's steering wheel I just can't handle it anymore.
- Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel? She was trying to blow the horn
- The other day I saw a pirate with a steering wheel on his belt When I asked him about it he said Arrgh, it's drivin' me nuts
- The weakest point of any car is... the nut holding the steering wheel.
Pirates Wheel Jokes
Here is a list of funny pirates wheel jokes and even better pirates wheel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A pirate walks into a bar The bartender says to him:
"Hey pirate, are you aware there's a steering wheel coming from your zipper?"
The pirate replies:
"AARRGHH matey, it's drivin' me nuts!" - Why aren't pirates generally good drivers? Well between the eye patch, hook hand, and peg leg, it's a miracle they can even get behind the wheel!
- What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say? ARRRR YOU'RE DRIVING ME NUTS!
Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Ferris Wheel Jokes
Here is a list of funny ferris wheel jokes and even better ferris wheel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My girlfriend broke up with me at our favorite date spot. I was so shocked and heartbroken I got up and immediately stormed out the door. And that's how I fell off the Ferris wheel.
- My 5 year old's original joke My son came up with this one. Clever, I thought.
What has one wheel, spins, but never moves?
A Ferris wheel.
- "It's a revolution!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Scared the rest of the people on the Ferris wheel.
- Went to the fair yesterday and my wife fainted on the ferris wheel! Don't worry, she's slowly coming around.
- I'm fair-skinned. I have tattoos of ferris wheels, tilt-a-whirls and sno-cones.
- Where is the best place to cheat on someone. A Ferris wheel
- The inventor of the ferris wheel never met the inventor of the merry-go-round They moved in different circles.
- Taped 4 pictures of Matthew Broderick to each of my rims. Now I have Ferris Wheels.
- Why were some people kicked off the Ferris wheel? Because it wasn't a fairground.
- If your job is to play a type of trumpet on a large rotating wheel and you finally take a day off... Is it ferris bugler's day off?
Third Wheel Jokes
Here is a list of funny third wheel jokes and even better third wheel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Third-wheeling a toxic couple is the worst... Anyway, i have to go shopping with my parents
- Third wheeling a really toxic couple is hard Anyway, I'm out with my parents
- If you ever feel like a third wheel, just stop.... You are not a third wheel. You are a majestic unicycle and they are your noble training wheels.
- What do you get when you drown the third wheel in a duck trio? A sad paradox.
- What's a couple's least favorite part of a car? The third wheel
- Nobody likes the third wheel... That's why we always say "Jesus, take the wheel"
- 11 people are hanging out together One of them is a third wheel
Hilarious Wheel Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about wheel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wheel pranks.
Joe took his blind date, Kim, to the carnival...
"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," said Kim, and so they ambled over to the 'guess-the-weight' stand. The owner guessed 121 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. And back to the 'guess-the-weight' stand they went. Since they had been here before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
I got a new SUV. My hippie friend says to me, "What about the Rainforests? What about the glaciers?"
.. I'm like "Man, it's got 4 wheel drive... We can go anywhere you want!"
-Michael Palascak
Silly Drunks.
A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice on the line.
"Nevermind," he said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Blonde Inventions
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlight
Submarine screen door
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart board
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chair
Water proof tea bags
Zero proof alcohol
Reusable ice cubes
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
A policeman pulls over a car...
for speeding. The policeman asks the men at the wheel, "Do you know what I'm stopping you for?" and the man at the wheel responds, "Just cos I'm Russian, eh?"
The Carnival Date
Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse.
"I want to get weighed," replied Amber.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.
By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?"
Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."
Lourdes
A wheel-chair bound chap decided to visit the healing waters of Lourdes. It was very crowded but he spotted a gap and went for it at such a pace that he ended up in the pool, wheel-chair and all. When they fished him out he was quite disappointed to find that he was still unable to walk, but found consolation in the fact that his wheel chair had a brand new set of tires.
So a pirate walks into a bar…
A pirate walks into a bar, and he's got a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender sees him and asks, "Hey, what's that steering wheel doing there?" The pirate says, "Aaarrrr, I don't know, it's driving me nuts."
A pirate walks into a bar...
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.
He sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
As the bartender pours his drink he asks him why there's a steering wheel in his pants.
The prate replies, "Arrrr it's drivin me nuts."
Guy walks into a bar...
and sees a pirate with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. Intrigued, the man approaches and inquires "whats with the steering wheel?" to which the pirate responds, "Arrr, its drivin' me nuts!"
A woman in Atlantic city was losing at the roulette wheel...
When she was down to her last ten dollars, she asked the fellow next to her for a good number. "Why don't you play your age?" he suggested. The woman agreed, and then put her money on the table. The next thing the fellow with the advice knew, the woman had fainted and fallen to the floor. He rushed right over. "Did she win?" he asked. "No," replied the attendant. "She put ten dollars on 29 and 41 came in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man has his 98th birthday
A man has his 98th birthday. They wheel in a giant cake, and a s**... 21-year-old blonde jumps out.
She whispers to him "I can give you some super s**...."
So the old man replies, "Well then, I'll have the soup."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pirate jokes I've heard throughout my life
What did the pirate say when the steering wheel was shoved down his pants?
ARGHHHHH your driven me nuts!
Why was the pirate dissatisfied with his blind date?
She had a sunken chest and no b**....
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
They can spend years stuck at sea!
And of course: Why couldn't the teenagers watch the pirate movie?
BECAUSE IT WAS RATED ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Wheel of Nostradamus
A man was at the fair when he heard a carnie shouting "Step right up and spin the Wheel of Nostradamus and win a prize!" Intrigued, the man approached and asked how much for one spin.
"Only five dollars per spin, sir."
Outraged, the man asked why it was so expensive. The carnie replied:
"I'm trying to turn a prophet here!"
So the pope coes to New York...
and flags a taxi. The taxi is extremely suprised to see the pope, and quickly ushers him into his cab. After a few minutes of silence, the pope says to the taxi driver "You know, being the pope, I've always have people drive me places, and I rarely get the chance to drive myself. Would you mind if I got behind the wheel for a little while?" Not wanting to say no to the pope, the taxi driver lets him drive. They get pulled over by the police soon after, since the pope was driving way over the speed limit. The officee walks up to the cab, is about to give them ticket, until he sees the pope. Not sure of what to do in this sitution, he calls his superior. "Sir, I just pulled over this guy for speeding, and he's *really* important. What do I do?" "Well who is the guy, the mayor?" "Nah, bigger than that" " Is he a movie star?" " No, way bigger than that" "Is he the president?" "No, he's bigger than that" "Well then who is he!?" "I dunno, but he's got the pope driving for him!"
A pirate goes to the doctor
A doctor walks into his exam room and is greeted with a strange sight: a pirate captain with a ships steering wheel protruding from his waistline. The doctor says "Well, I'm not sure what you came in here for, but I think we should start by addressing the steering wheel down your pants."
The pirate nods fervently, and says "Yarr, it's been drivin' me nuts!"
What do you call a wheel with clothes?
Attire.
My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle.
There's a new wheelchair party forming
But it doesn't really stand for anything.
(At least it'll always have a spokes person)
Terrifying Story
A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window. The startled passenger said "I didn't mean to frighten you, just wanted to ask you something." Taxi driver says "Not your fault Sir. It's my first day as a cab driver, I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years".
TIL Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger.
He has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right.
If you let Jesus take the wheel...
Does that count as ghost riding the whip?
A man walks into his doctor's surgery and says "Doc, I'm experiencing some discomfort downstairs"
The Doctor takes a look and says "well I think I see the problem - you've got a steering wheel in your pants".
The man says "Thanks doc! It was driving me nuts!"
What has four wheels and can't support a family?
A liberal arts major.
I lied about the wheels.
Which historical invention was the most revolutionary?
The wheel :)
So MotherTeresa is in heaven, but...
she notices that Princess Diana has a bigger halo than her. So Mother Teresa goes to God and asks why Princess Diana has a larger halo. God laughs and responds, "Oh, that's not a halo, that's the steering wheel."
My grandmother told me this joke, all credit to her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wheelchair athletes have just been banned from the Paralympics
They tested positive for WD40
Three men walk into a car part store...
I need taillights for a Mustang the first one says. What year? the employee asks. 2015 he answers. There you go , the worker hands in the parts. The second guy goes to the counter, saying I need a steering wheel for a Mustang . What year?
1997 he answers. There you go . After he payed, the third guy comes to the counter. I need rear suspensions for a Mustang . There you go .
With a wheelchair, everyday is Halloween!
Children are scared of you, adults try to guess what you are, and the elderly just give you candy!
Paraphrased from the wonderful Zach Anner
I was driving around in my tricycle all day
I worked it so hard, it lost a wheel. The tricycle is two tired now.
How are you today?
Context - It's extremely early in the morning, I'm getting new tires put on my vehicle...
GF: How are you today?
Me: I'm wheel good.
^Please ^Help ^Me
GRAND THEFT AUTO
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
What do you do when your bicycle's wheels wear out?
You retire it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... with me is like a ferris wheel:
Slower Than You Hoped, Full Of Clunky Stops And A Carny Watches To Make Sure You Don't Get Off.
Wheelchairs should have pedals on them
So if you get tired of using your arms you can pedal
I wonder what it felt like for the guy who first invented the wheel.
He must've known he was gonna be going places.
There's this wheelchair bound kid that gets bullied alot.
It's really sad cause he can't seem to stand up for himself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man runs into an old salty sea captain on the docks of Boston harbor and says,
"Cap'm, can't help but noticin'...you got a steerin' wheel secures to yer c**... there." Sea captain removes the pipe from 'tween his teeth and says, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."
A plane flies straight toward a mountain as pilot and co-pilot pull down on the control wheel with all their might
The pilot yells "We'll never make it over that mountain" the co-pilot looks at him and says "Not with that altitude."
I dated a girl in a wheel chair once.
it was a tough relationship tho. Have you ever heard the saying "If you love her then let her go, and if she comes back then it was meant to be"?
Well don't let her go on a hill by a lake, cause she don't come back
Wheel of Fortune
Me: I'd like to buy a vowel
Pat: Aren't you a millennial?
Me: *sigh* I'd like to rent a vowel
Why is there no cheese in the menu for the Last Supper?
Because Jesus took the wheel.
When they put a computer at the wheel of a car, why didnt it work ?
They needed to install a driver
Parked my car in Mexico City last night. Came out in the morning to find a gang of kids had come and stolen all the parts off it.
Jesus took the wheel.
I used to own a wheelbarrow full of four-leaf clovers...
...but then I realized I really shouldn't push my luck.
I had a dream I was a wheel
I woke up tired
Pinocchio got a new job at a tire store
He keeps telling all the customers "I'm a wheel boy."
Wheel wheel wheel
If it isn't the tricycle.
An elderly woman called 911...
An elderly woman called 911 from her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into.
"They've stolen everything! My radio is gone, my center console is gone, my mirror and the rosary beads hanging from it...even the steering wheel!"
The dispatcher responds that an officer is on the way.
Minutes later, the officer arrives and radios back into dispatch.
"Disregard that last call. She got in the back seat by mistake."
Guy calls a bicycle wheel company
Says, "I'd like to speak to your spokesperson"
A friend from Mexico recently moved up to Wisconsin with me
Naturally, one of the first places we went was a cheese shop. He was being all tentative, only considering purchasing a small block of cheddar. He's never going to fit like that.
I said to him, Jesus, take the wheel.
What has 8 wheels and flies?
A dump truck
What has 10 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dont have s**... with your cars steering wheel
I did, and its driving me nuts.
What does it mean when you have wheels and a country girl wants you?
It means you *a tractor*
[OC] What's the most ironic amusement park ride?
The ferrous wheel.
Being in a wheelchair and trying to get ready in the mirror in the worst.
I cant stand to look at myself.
[blonde] Two girls were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again. "Yes... no... yes... no...yes..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man gets pulled over...
A man gets pulled over by a local sheriff. The sheriff walks up to the man's window and says I pulled you over because you didn't come to a full stop at that stop sign back there.
Yeah, but I slowed down... the man tells him.
Quickly, the sheriff reaches into the man's car, grabs him by the hair and starts smashing the man's face over and over into the steering wheel and asks him, Now do you want me to stop? Or do you want me to slow down?
An old Russian anecdote
I was driving to work one morning when I saw a woman in a neighboring car doing her makeup at the wheel. I was so surprised that I nearly dropped my razor into my coffee!
