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Wheat Jokes

83 wheat jokes and hilarious wheat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wheat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with these hilarious wheat jokes! From cream of wheat to soybean and oat, get the giggles rolling. Get a break from migraines and take a break to chuckle at these wheat-related puns.

Funniest Wheat Short Jokes

Short wheat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wheat humour may include short flour jokes also.

  1. Do you remember Buckwheat from the little rascals? He recently converted to Islam. And became Kareem of Wheat.
  2. What's the difference between Nicholas Cage and someone who can't eat wheat? Nicholas Cage would never turn down a roll
  3. You shouldn't worry about headaches I mean, it's all in your head.
  4. I bought some Shredded wheat, but I think it's a bit of a con. It's no more muscular than regular wheat.
  5. The person who discovered wheat intolerance has died. The family has requested, NO FLOURS.
  6. What type of cereal goes to the gym twice a day? Shredded wheat.
    I wish I could pin this joke on a 4-year-old, I'm so sorry
  7. What did the bread maker say to the wheat? I loave you.
  8. Despite the fact that whenever I eat any products with wheat in I get stomach cramps, I still regularly enjoy consuming it. You could say that I'm a gluten for pun-ishment.
  9. What did the tomato say to the wheat? You go pasta, I'll ketch-up.
  10. Buckwheat grew up to be a Muslim He changed his name to Kareem Wheat

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Wheat One Liners

Which wheat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wheat? I can suggest the ones about oats and maize.

  1. A wheat farmer has a headache and all his crops disappear Ahh Migraines!
  2. What did one German wheat farmer say to the other German wheat farmer? Gluten tag
  3. What do vegans call jerking off? Beating their wheat.
  4. I took a picture of a wheat field today... It came out pretty grainy.
  5. What do wheat, gluten, and Arkansas have in common? They're all in bread.
  6. Why do I always get a headache when I eat the wheat I grew? Because it's my grain
  7. I should start a store that sells wheat and beans. It would be called "Gluten And Tootin"
  8. Where do grains of wheat sleep? In a breadroom
  9. Why did the wheat become misshapen? It was inbread
  10. What do you call a hockey player in a wheat field when it's raining? Grayne Wetzky
  11. What do you call a headache caused my someone stealing your wheat My-grain
  12. What do you call a bread delivery service Uber wheats
  13. What do you call 18 year old wheat? Barley legal.
  14. Buckwheat has converted to Islam He is now known as Kareem of wheat.
  15. If u stand in the pouring grain.... Your gonna get all wheat!

Shredded Wheat Jokes

Here is a list of funny shredded wheat jokes and even better shredded wheat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a muscular pothead have for breakfast? Shredded Wheat
Wheat joke, What does a muscular pothead have for breakfast?

Share Hilarious Wheat Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about wheat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wheat pranks.

Why is GMO wheat called mutant?

Because it's in bread.

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

What did the carrot say to the wheat?

Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet.

Did you know that 90% of all dog in South Korea are i**...?

Most commonly it's whole wheat or rye

What's it called when the Pillsbury doughboys girlfriend gets a yeast infection?

Hole wheat.

"What Did?" by Shel Silverstein

What did the carrot say to the wheat?
'Lettuce' rest, I'm feeling 'beet.'
What did the paper say to the pen?
I feel quite all 'write,' my friend.
What did the teapot say to the chalk?
Nothing, you silly . . . teapots can't talk!

A joke for farmers

Three farmers were in prison.
One asks another what he did. He replies that he stole trailer load of wheat and got 1 year. He asks what the first farmer did. He said that he stole a lorry load of barley and got 2 years.
He then asks what the third farmer was in for. r**..., the third farmer replies. Shocked, the first farmer exclaimed "Christ, how much did you steal?!"

What do you call it when someone eats too much wheat?

Glutteny.

What did the wheat say to the man with the scythe?

"I yield!"

What would BuckWheat from Little Rascals be called if he were a Muslim?

Kareem of Wheat.

Buckwheat of the Little Rascals converted to Islam (stop me if you've heard this...)

He is now know as Kareem-Of Wheat

A woman is shopping at a grocery store.

She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".

What's more i**... than English monarchs?

Wheat.

Someone with Celiac disease but still eats wheat...

Is a gluten for punishment.

Why didn't Bono sell any wheat bread at his bakery?

Cuz it's all rye, it's all rye, it's all rye.

TIL people with Celiac Disease have a major evolutionary advantage...

They can, quite literally, separate the wheat from the chaff.

Un deux t**... quatre cinq six sept ACHOO!

Sorry, I have a wheat allergy.

My goodness, said the grain of wheat as she awoke and found herself in a loaf of bread...

I've been reaped.

The hard of hearing s**......

got really disappointed when he finally arrived at his uncle's wheat farm.

gluten free whole wheat spaghetti

its inpastabowl

I got in the way at the silo when they were pouring grain.

I got all wheat.

You can't just decide to be a wheat farmer...

...you have to be bread for it.

What would a literary person call a bot-test in a wheat field?

Captcha in the Rye.

White bread or wheat bread?

Tough doughcision.

What is a linguist's least favorite kind of bread?

Whole Wheat.

I'm devastated that my son has chosen a career in finance rather than taking over the family wheat farm.

He's going against the grain.

Stalin visits a farm

One day, Joseph Stalin visits an agricultural collective. And so....
Stalin: Comrade, how much wheat do you have?
Farmer: Comrade Stalin, we have enough wheat to reach God!
Stalin: Comrade, as a Marxist, you know that there is no God!
Farmer: Comrade Stalin, as a Marxist, you know that there is no wheat!

During the annual cavemen conference ...

Greg : so I kept rubbing this rock against another rock until it became very thin and now I can cut vegetables,meat using this . I call this "The Knife" .
Chief Gogo : wow , I thought no-one can beat Gorg's invention of using wheat flour and water to create a new food called "bread" but yours is a worthy contender
Greg " that's not it ,chief "
And then places a piece of bread on the stone and takes the knife in his hand
" What I'm about to do will blow your mind " .

How do you know if a horse is purebred?

It only eats wheat.

Cotton the middle of life and death

A stalk of wheat goes in to have a s**...-change operation. After hours and hours in the operating room, one of the surgeons has a slip up with the sickle they are using. Nearly bleeding out, the wheat is stitched up in the nick of time.
A few weeks later, the wheat is recounting the story to its partner, who is a stalk of cotton. They tell them the operation was worth it, and they are lucky to be a sir fiber.

A boy was standing in his father's wheat farm for several hours.....

His father finally asked him "son, why are you wasting your time standing out here?"
Son replied "father, I am not wasting my time, I am trying to win a nobel prize!"
The father thought he was studying the environment and was impressed, still he asked "how do you plan on doing that?"
Son replied "I have heard that people who won Nobel prizes were outstanding in various fields. So I am doing the same."

A group of horses walks into a juice bar...

"What'll it be for ya?"
The first horse replies "wheat grass"
The barista says "that's not on the menu"
The second says "wheat grass, it's on the board"
The barista: of course you eat grass, you're horses. But I'm telling you we don't serve grass."
Sensing some confusion a third horse approaches. "Hey..." he says

"You are what you eat," they say... Oh really???

If so, then my spaghetti is fabulous and incredibly smart, made of extra-ordinary wheat with its own weird sense of humor, dancing salsa when nobody's watching and sweating its little spaghetti pants off while doing calisthenics.
I will never e**... spaghetti the same way ever again...
What's your pasta like? ;)

A woman answered her front doo

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.
"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar."
"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?"
"My babysitter's boyfriend."

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.

"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.""Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?""My babysitter's boyfriend."

Buckwheat converted to Islam in his later years

Now he goes by Kareem A Wheat

A blonde is in a wheat field attempting to row a small boat.

A blonde is in a wheat field attempting to row a small boat.
Another two blondes drive past and see her struggling.
The driver says look at that idiot! She gives smart blondes like us a bad name!
The other blonde says I know right! If only I could swim I'd go out there and kick her a**...!

What do you call a s**... grain?

A half wheat!

Stalin goes to a local wheat farm to see how things are going.

"Mr. Stalin, we have so many wheat bags, that, if piled on top of each other, could reach god himself!" The farmer told Stalin gleefully.
"But god doesn't exist", Stalin Replied.
"Exactly", said the farmer. "neither does the wheat."

The beer sommelier

A guy walks into a bar and brags to the barman, that he can recognize any beer by its taste. The make a bet and the barman starts to put forwards glasses.
— Oh, that's easy. Budweiser.
— That's wheat Paulaner.
— Hmmm, that's trickier. That's an IPA by Minhas Craft
The barman gets angry, that he will lose the bet. He goes to the back room, p**...into a glass and gives it to the guy. He tastes, smacks his lips for a while and says:
— That's Heineken. But is had been drunk once already.

Before the Russian invasion of Ukraine. The Kremlin decides to try and intimidate Ukraine.

Before the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
The Kremlin decides to try and intimidate Ukraine.
They send a few truckloads of wheat with the note: "That's how many of us are coming!"
A few days later the trucks return full of flour with the note: "And this is how they will be sent back to you"

Ah, blondes.

Two blondes are driving through farm country. As they are chatting and enjoying the scenery, they notice something unusual and pull over to investigate.
There they see, in the middle of a wheat field, a blonde sitting in a boat rowing furiously but obviously not going anywhere.
After watching for a few minutes, the first blonde says this really p**...me off. Dumb blondes like that one give the rest of us a bad name!
The second blonde says I agree. And if I could swim, I'd go out there and kick her a**...!

Wheat joke, Ah, blondes.

jokes about wheat