Whatsoever Jokes
28 whatsoever jokes and hilarious whatsoever puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about whatsoever that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Whatsoever Short Jokes
Short whatsoever jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The whatsoever humour may include short whichever jokes also.
- My body looks as if it were chiseled from marble I'm not muscular whatsoever I'm just really white.
- Looks like I'm in the doghouse again.. Last night whilst the wife was asleep I swapped her tampax for a party popper.
No sense of humour whatsoever! - Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
- I swear to god, people these days have no morals whatsoever I was at church today and some scumbag lit a cigarette with an alter candle, I was so shocked I almost dropped my beer
- When should guys ask for a girl's hand? When they get tired of their own.
I saw this on a game forum and it was not related whatsoever - Some people's standards make no sense whatsoever For some reason being under 18 is a huge turn off...
- My wife left me because I never paid her any attention whatsoever. Or something like that. I wasn't really listening.
- I have a joke that has nothing whatsoever to do with the outdoors... Sorry, I'm afraid it's an inside joke.
- Women are like helicopters... You know they work and you trust them, but if you make any effort to understand them whatsoever you'd be too terrified to go near them.
- What's the same about x girlfriends and slinkies? They're no fun whatsoever, but when you push them down the stairs it gives you a little smile.
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Whatsoever One Liners
Which whatsoever one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with whatsoever? I can suggest the ones about whomever and nonetheless.
- What rhymes with anxiety? Think about that question non stop for no reason whatsoever.
- Fallout 76 Fallout 76 is a masterpiece with no flaws whatsoever.
- What's better than Tofu? No Tofu whatsoever!!!!!!!!
Comical & Quirky Whatsoever Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about whatsoever you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean miscellaneous jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make whatsoever pranks.
A college professor reminds her class of the next day's final exam saying, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever"
A guy sitting at the back asks, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?"
The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, and says, Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.
Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
George W. Bush was sitting in the Oval Office when...
...his secretary walks in with a phone in his hand.
He says, "Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."
Upon hearing this The President says, "Oh my God!" and he buries his head in his hands.
The entire Cabinet was stunned. Usually George Bush showed no reaction whatsoever to these types of reports.
Just then, Bush looked up and said, "How many is a Brazilian??"
Two elderly men
Got wasted drunk one evening and decided to go to a brothel.
The madam seeing how out of it both of them were decided to give them blow up dolls instead of real women.
The next day the two old men met up again and started sharing their experiences of the previous night.
The first one went.
"I think mine was dead. I moved her, shook her. No reaction whatsoever".
The other guy said.
"This is nothing. I'm convinced mine was a witch. In the heat of the moment as we were going at it I bit her a**.... She let out a massive f**.... Then flew out the window taking my dentures with her."
A boy in Russia asks his Grandpa...
Grandpa? asked a little boy, Is it true that in 1986 there was an accident at Chernobyl Nuclear Plant?
Yes, it's true, said the grandpa, and patted his grandson's head.
Is it also true that no one was harmed and there were no consequences whatsoever?
Yes, it's true, said the grandpa, and patted the grandson's second head.
Relapse
"Great news, Mr. Oscarson," the psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. You'll never be trapped by the desire to steal again. "Gee, that's great, Doc," the patient replied."And just to prove it, I want you to stop by Sears on the way home and walk the length of the store.
You'll see - you'll feel no temptation to shoplift whatsoever. "Oh, Doctor, whatever can I do to thank you? "Well," suggested the psychiatrist, "if you DO have a relapse, I could use a new microwave. "
A man comes to see a urologist...
"When is your earliest urination in the day and how regular is it"? - the doctor asks him.
"Every day, at exactly 8:00, I urinate" - the man responds.
"That's good. How about defecation? Any obstruction"?
"Every day, at exactly 8:10, I d**..., without any obstructions whatsoever" - the man responds.
"That's good, too. But why did you come to see me, then"?
"Because I don't wake up until 9:00"!
A Russian boy walks up to his grandfather...
"Grandpa, is it true that there was a nuclear disaster at the Chernobyl Power Plant?" he says. "Yes, there was." replied the Grandfather, patting the boy's head.
The boy then says "And is it true that there were absolutely no consequences of it whatsoever?". The Grandpa says "Yep. None at all." and pats the boy's second head
Along with the Antimatter and Darkmatter, Physicists in collaboration with volundads (dads who volunteered, from all over the world) have discovered the existence of another matter called
Doesn't matter, which seems to have no effect on the universe whatsoever
A teacher at a college reminded her pupils of the next day's final exam...
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' she said.
A smart-arsed kid at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and s**....
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'
Along with antimatter and dark matter, a new type of matter was discovered
Called doesn't matter, which has absolutely no affect on the universe whatsoever
Spraying Cillit Bang directly into the lungs is fatal
In the short term. But there's been no research whatsoever into the long term effects.
Job had some trouble looking up to his friends Eliphaz, Elihu, and Zophar for wisdom...
But he couldn't look up at Bildad the Shoe-height whatsoever.
