The Best 35 Whats Up Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Whats Up jokes. There are some whats up jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these whats up puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Whats Up Jokes and Puns

I dropped my knife and cut off a toe

After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.

Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.

Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.

Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.

Me: No way. Whats the good news?

Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.

Me: What are you trying to say?

Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"

Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"

Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"

Me: "49"

Interviewer: "that's not even close"

me: "yeah, but it was fast"

Genie: Whats your first wish?

Dave: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Granted, what's your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.

Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle.

Coconut.

Whats the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

Guys will actually look for the golf ball.


Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom?

How I bought your mother

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know I just fly the drone.

Whats the difference between an ISIS training camp and a children's hospital?

I dunno, I just fly the drone...

Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?

M'genta

I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food?

SEIZURE SALAD.

I peed

Whats the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"

A professional thief says, "Sign here please.."

You can explore whats up reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean whats up dad jokes. There are also whats up puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A young boy is bathing with his mother

Boy says, Whats that hairy thing mom?

Mom replies, That is my sponge.

Oh yes, says the boy, The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it.

Whats the difference between an al qaeda training camp and a school?

I dont know, I just fly the drones.

Whats better than roses on a piano?

tulips on an organ...

If someone who speaks 2 languages is Bilingual, whats someone who speaks 1 called?

American.

Whats the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl

You have to drop the bomb twice before she finally gets it

Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts

Beer nuts are $1.50 a lb. And deer nuts are under a buck.

Whats the difference between a feminist and a baby?

At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up

Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.


Whats the internal temperature of a taun taun?

Luke warm

Whats worse than running with scissors?

Scissoring with the runs.

Whats the most expensive haircut?

***Chemotherapy***

Whats you father's occupation?

Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."

Whats the best thing about dating a girl into zoophilia?

Your best friend gets laid too.

Whats blue and doesn't fit anymore

A dead epileptic

Whats the difference between a preschool and a taliban camp?

I don't know man. I just fly the drones.

Whats the difference between a porsche and an erection?

I dont have a porsche.

(Best told by whispering in someones ear.)

Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson ?

Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and Michael Jackson had sex with kids.

Whats the best thing about being a meth addict?

Only two more sleeps until christmas.

Whats the difference between the government and a stripper?

Strippers don't rig their polls.

Whats blue and isn't heavy?

Light blue

Whats the difference between engineering and religion?

Engineering build planes and buildings. Religion brings them together.

I just saw an Indian guy shaking a piece of carpet outside his door.

I said, "Whats up, Won't it start?"

whats the difference between a woman and a computer?

a woman wont accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy.

Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common?

Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the whats up jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working whats up piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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