Following is our collection of Whats jokes which are very funny. There are some whats arriage jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these whats doesnt puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.
Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.
Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.
Me: No way. Whats the good news?
Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.
Me: What are you trying to say?
Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.
Society.
Whats black on top and white on bottom?
rape.
There is one less drunk at the wake
Only two more sleeps until christmas.
Caesar said:"I came, I saw, I conquered."
Casanova said:"I saw, I conquered, I came."
Inheritance
An attractive woman arrives at a party. While scanning the guests she spots an interesting looking man standing alone. She approaches him and says "Hello, my name is Carmen."
"That's a beautiful name" he says, "is it a family name?"
"No", she replies. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things I enjoy most...cars and men. Therefore I chose Carmen."
"What's your name?" she asks.
The man replies "B.J.......B.J. Titsngolf."
A pirate walks in a bar with a paper towel on his head, the bartender says "whats with that" the Pirate says "ARR!! I have Bounty on me head"
and then he meets a friend.
Friend: Whatsup, where you been?
Man: Ive visited the doctor
Friend: What did he say?
Man: 200 Dollars
Friend: Yeah, but what do you have
Man: I have 50 dollars
Friend: I Mean whats the problem?
Man: 150 dollars
I m not sure if it makes any sense in English, but i tried
I dont know, I just fly the drones.
It's counterproductive
You can explore whats miscarriage reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean whats wtf dad jokes. There are also whats puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again....
To Generiquai and everybody reading this, I would just like you to know I obviously didn't make this up. Just remembered it from a few years back and thought it was funny. Whoever made it up I give you all the credit.
Thanks for checking it out!
Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.
M'genta
SEIZURE SALAD.
I peed
A man kills a Deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his Wife, decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the
meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.
"Well," he said,
"It's what Mummy calls me, sometimes."
The little girl screams to her Brother,
"Don't eat it, it's an arsehole.."
tulips on an organ...
Your best friend gets laid too.
A man walks into a bar with a monkey.
The bartender asks "hey man, whats with the monkey?"
The man replies "watch this!"
The man then slaps the monkey and then the monkey starts blowing him.
"Wow that's pretty cool" says the bartender.
"You wanna try?" asks the man.
The bartender says "yeah sure! ... Just don't slap me so hard."
At some point in its life, the baby will stop crying and grow up
a woman wont accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy.
A dead epileptic
None of them make the sandwiches.
The mosquito stops sucking if you slap it.
How would I know, I`m just a US Air Force Operator.
I dunno, I just fly the drone...
The second hour is free
Strippers don't rig their polls.
How I bought your mother
I don't know I just fly the drone.
I dont have a porsche.
(Best told by whispering in someones ear.)
... I pull out of my driveway
-Whats the capital of Germany?
-Berlin teacher
-Whats the capital of France?
-Berlin again teacher
-Whats the capital of Poland?
-Still Berlin teacher
-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!
-We'll see about that
American.
The boy says, "Whats that hairy thing mum?"
Mum replies, "That is my sponge."
"Oh yeah," says the boy, "The babysitters got one too, she likes to wash dad's face with it!
Leave the plunger in the toilet
I don't know man. I just fly the drones.
Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"
Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"
Me: "49"
Interviewer: "that's not even close"
me: "yeah, but it was fast"
They never get old.
Dave: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Granted, what's your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."
"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"
"Whats that?"
"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine...
It's 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late."
"Oh dear.. I won't disturb you. Take your time.."
So a woman is in the hospital, having just given birth to twins. The midwife appears at her side and gravely says that she has some good news and some bad news. The woman asks for her to get the bad news out of the way. "Well," the midwife says, "unfortunately one of the children is ginger".
The Mother laughs and says, "Well then, whats the good news?"
"Its dead", the midwife says.
Luke warm
Period.
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"
A professional thief says, "Sign here please.."
SEX - F
He laughs...
Mom : Whats so funny ?
Kid : I can't believe you are
so bad in Sex.
You Failed in it!!
"a reverse burka" I told her. "Whats that?" she asked. "it's when all you're wearing is a blindfold."
One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants.
The man says Oh just a beer .
The bartender asked the man Whats wrong,why are you so down today? .
The man said My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she would'nt talk to me for a month .
The bartender said So whats wrong with that ?
The man siad Well the month is up tonight .
Beer nuts are $1.50 a lb. And deer nuts are under a buck.
The muslim has to die before he gets his virgins.
Coconut.
Two. Two to hold a ladder and one to screw it in.
Whats that? Three you say? They can't count that high.
I dont know, i just fly the drone.
"this year we should try Greece"
his partner looks up n asks him "whats wrong with the Vaseline?
Engineering build planes and buildings. Religion brings them together.
Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and Michael Jackson had sex with kids.
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it
I said, "Whats up, Won't it start?"
Boy says, Whats that hairy thing mom?
Mom replies, That is my sponge.
Oh yes, says the boy, The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it.
Scissoring with the runs.
A red bucket.
Whats blue, looks like a bucket, shaped like a bucket and holds water?
A red bucket in disguise.
My 8 year old son...the comedian.
Whittle by whittle
***Chemotherapy***
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist
He walks into his parents room and see's them going at it. Visibly shocked, he asks whats going on. His Dad just laughs and says go back to your room I'll come and talk to you in 20 mins .
20 mins later his Dad walks into his room and see's the young lad banging his grandma. The kid looks up and says 'see, not so funny when it's your mum is it?'
The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says Oh just a beer . The bartender asked the man Whats wrong,why are you so down today? . The man said My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she would'nt talk to me for a month . The bartender said So whats wrong with that ? The man siad Well the month is up tonight .
You have to drop the bomb twice before she finally gets it
It takes 1 nail to hang a picture
Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."
Attire.
people in dubai dont like the flinstones but people in abudabidoo
Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"
Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"
Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"
Me: "49"
Interviewer: "that's not even close"
me: "yeah, but it was fast"
Light blue
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
One is an alien-based pyramid scheme and the other is a pyramid-based alien scheme.
Dodgeball
I cant Jill off onto your face.
Pink fluff. Whats blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath
between both of them, something smells
Unclebiotics
It makes them go from "NO, NO, NO!" To "Mmmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm" -Super Dave Osborn
1st man says, "I can't find my wife." 2nd man says, "I can't find mine either, what does yours look like?" 1st man " Six foot tall, blonde, big tits, mini skirt, high heels and a boob tube, whats yours look like?" 2nd man says, "Fxck her we'll look for yours.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the whats watcha jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working whats happend piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.