Whack Jokes

Following is our collection of budgie humor and skydiver one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Whack puns for adults, dirty thwack jokes or clean slap gags for kids.

There is an abundance of slam jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 38 funniest jokes on whack. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any mallet witze you can hear about whack.

The Best jokes about Whack

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack", he says, "I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday".

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger. He says that his dad is Mick Jagger, and it's okay for him to take out all of the money because he is friends with the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says "Sure, have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink, and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty tells him that she'll have to consult with the bank manager. She then disappears into the back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral". She holds up the tiny elephant pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone".

What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver?

The home golfer goes WHACK! "Oh no!" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa

What's the difference between a Golf player and skydiver?

One goes:

*Whack*, "Darn!"

While the other goes:

"Darn!", *Whack*


PS: Not sure if this was posted before, but i think it's still funny.

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller...

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.'

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'

If Dr. Seuss were a convict (poem)

What's this in my hand?
Behind your back?
It's soap on a a rope!
Whack whack whack!

What's this in my sock?
Tick tock, knock knock.
A large steel lock!
Chock chock chock!

What's this in my breeches?
I heard that you blab..
Snitches get stitches!
Stab stab stab!!


Have you read the news?

I was reading the news the other day and came across a story from Vietnam. There were two gentlemen working in a rice paddy when one became enraged at the other and bludgeoned him to death with a small ceramic figurine. Reports indicate that this is the first ever case of knick-knack paddy whack.

A frog goes into a bank...



A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack.

So, he says, "Mrs. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says "$30,000." The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it is OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain pig, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says: "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink pig.
"I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says,
"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack.
Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."

A frog needs a loan...

...so he goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks 'Okay, well what's your name?' The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, son of the musician Mick Jagger.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure. I have this' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who wants a loan and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?' The bank manager looks back at her and says 'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!'

Did you hear that a mob boss was killed...

Did you hear that a mob boss was killed in a rice field by assailants wielding small figurines?

Police are saying it's the first recorded instance of a knick knack patty whack.

What's the Mafias favorite game?

whack a mole

A hitman was caught by the police one day.

After a long interrogation he confessed that he was hired beat to a man to death in a rice field and he did it using 2 small porcelain figures. Police say that this was the first case in town of a knick knack paddy whack.


A hitman beats a cow to death in a ricefield using two small porcelain figures.

Police admit this is the first known case of a knick-knack paddy whack.

A mobster killed an Irishman with a porcelain doll

He was accused of knick-knack paddy whack

Convicted hit man Jimmy "Two Shoes" McClarty.

Confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using on two small porcelain figures. Police admit this may be the first know case of a knick knack paddy whack.







Cr

70% of men whack off in the shower. The rest of them sing. You know what they sing?

...No, I didn't think you did.

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

A Frog goes into a bank to get a loan

He approaches the woman at the loan application desk and notes that her name tag reads: Patty Whack. The Frog says, "Excuse me, I'd like to apply for a loan." The woman, very surprised that a talking frog was in her bank immediately refuses, saying, "We only work with humans, no animals can get loans here....besides, you don't have any collateral." The Frog hurriedly pulls a little troll doll out of his pocket. "Yes I do! Take my Troll. She means the world to me." At this point the woman is upset and goes to the bank's President. "Sir, there is a frog outside trying to get a loan from us. He won't leave and he says this troll doll is enough collateral!" The President takes the doll, looks it over very carefully and says, "IT'S A KNICK KNACK, PATTY WHACK! NOW GIVE THE FROG A LOAN!"

Kermit the Frog went to the bank to request a loan.

The teller, Patty Whack, asked him for references.

"Well, my dad's Mick Jagger," Kermit replied.

Uncertain, Patty then asked him if he had any collatoral.

"Here's something from my shelf", he answered, handing her a small decoration.

Now confused, Patty told him she had to speak with her manager.

"Mr Jones," she said, "I don't know what to do. Kermit the Frog is asking for money, he says his dad is Mick Jagger, and his only collateral is this thing. I don't even know what it is!"

The manager replies, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Kermit Jagger walks into a bank

and walks up to the teller, Patricia Whack and asks for a loan. The teller asks for something as collateral. Kermit produces a tiny porcelain elephant. The teller doesn't understand so Kermit asks to see the manager. The manager comes out and looks at Kermit and the tiny porcelain elephant. Patricia asks the manager what to do with the elephant? Manager says "it's a knick-knack Paddy Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"


What did the abusive mallard say to his duck wife?

Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack.

A Kermit the frog goes to get a loan at a bank.

He gets to the counter and states his request to the teller, Mrs. Whack.

Mrs. Whack: "Can you give a down payment or give us something to hold until your debt is paid off?"

The frog puts a tiny pink elephant on the counter in front of her. Mrs. Whack is very confused.

Kermit: "My father, Mick Jagger is friends with the manager. Go ask him if he will accept it."

So Mrs. Whack goes to the manager with the request and the pink elephant.

Manager: "It's a knick knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old mans a rolling stone."

I hope this hasn't been posted before. I just remembered it while reading a joke about a bank. Sorry if this is a repost.

I have to come clean...

So I just whack off in the shower.

Somebody whacked my head with a telescope today

I was seeing stars

A man was arrested for killing a cow in a rice field using only 2 small porcelain figures.

Police say this may be the first known case of a Knick-knack paddy whack.

State troopers arrested an alleged assassin accused of bludgeoning a man to death with two small porcelain figurine in a rice fieldโ€”

Police admit this may be the first known case of a knick-knack paddy whack.

What's a German's favorite game?

Whack a pole

A man was killed in a rice field by a small porcelain doll....

It was the very first knick-knack, patty whack

A Frog walks into a bank looking for a loan

Bank Teller ("Whack" on her name tag"): Hello, what would you like?

Frog: I would like a loan.

Mrs. Whack: What is your name?

Frog: Kermit.

Mrs. Whack: You're not Kermit The Frog.

Kermit: No, I was named after him. Name's Kermit Jagger, father's name is Mick Jagger, mother's a frog.

Mrs. Whack: Okay, do you have any collateral

Kermit pulls out a tiny pink elephant

Mrs. Whack: Let me check that with my manager

Patty Whack goes into the back and asks the manger what the pink elephant is

Manager: That's a knick knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone.

Cr

Last night was horrible, my wife suddenly died so I had to whack off to a Victoria's Secret catalog.

Edit (spelling): wifi

Did you hear about the man who was hit over the head with a bobble-head in a rice field?

It's the first reported case of a knick knack paddy whack.

An assassin was apprehended for murdering a farmer's cow with the trinkets he had stolen from the farmer's wife's china cabinet.

It was the first recorded case of a knick knack paddy whack.

When an Irishman is so drunk that his vision is out of whack...

...he is said to be doublin' Ireland

Vandals arrested for murder in a field using porcelain miniatures

Detectives report it was the first case of a nick back paddy whack

A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine

The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack.

Being single is Whack

Whack


Whack

Whack

Whack

Whack
Whack
Whack
Whack
Whack
Whack

I can fall asleep really fast after I whack off

It's really come in handy

Roosters

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers.

Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared.

The man somewhat nervously said, I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him.

Suit yourself, the farmer replied, the hens are round the back.

My friend Nick is known as the grill master amongst us, but his ground burgers are undeniably the best.

He's got a real Nick knack patty whack!

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes