wet Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious wet puns

I lent my umbrella to a hot girl yesterday.


That takes the number of girls i've made wet this year to -1

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How is Hurricane Florence like my ex wife?

They start off wet and wild but in the end, they take your house.

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Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle.

Coconut.

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What do a dog and a nearsighted gynecologist have in common?

A wet nose.

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Whats similar between a hurricane and women?

They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**

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Women are like hurricanes...

They enter your life wet and wild, and they leave with your lawn furniture THAT WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARAH, YOU BITCH.

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So this guy asks if I prefer breasts or legs

And I reply, really I'd prefer wet pussy.

Apparently this is not an appropriate thing to say at KFC.

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What begins with a " C" ends with a "T" has a "U and a "N" in it, is hairy on the outside and wet in the middle.

A coconut.

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Women are like hurricanes.

They come into your life wet and wild and then leave wiTH THE FURNITURE WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SUSAN YOU BITCH

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"Give it to me!" she yelled

Give it to me! She yelled.

"I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now!"

She could scream all she wanted.

I was keeping the umbrella.

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Mars: I'm wet...

NASA: I'm coming!

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I'm sick of tired of people soaking my floor with their wet umbrellas when they come over to visit.

I think it's time to make a stand.

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"Give it to me" she screamed "Give it to me I'm so fucking wet!"

But try as she might, she wasn't getting my umbrella.

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Today I learned that "Wet Floor" signs…

…are not a request…

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"Give it to me! Give it to me now, I'm so f*cking wet!"

She could scream all she wanted, I was not giving her the umbrella.

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Mars and NASA

Mars: Come over

NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away

Mars: I'm wet

NASA: I'm coming over

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My girlfriend told me, "I need it! I'm so wet! Give it to me, now!"

I told her she can scream all she wants, she's not getting my umbrella

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My girlfriend was shouting Give it to me now! I'm so fucking wet!

I simply told her This umbrella is mine. Go get your own.

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My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.

"Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."

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A woman is like a bucket of KFC...

Once you're past the tender breasts and the juicy thighs all you have left is a greasy wet box to put your bone in.

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My wife screamed, "Give it to me! I'm so f*cking wet! Give it to me now!

But she can scream all she wants, I'm not giving her the umbrella

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A woman runs into a man at the grocery store

Woman: Hi there!
Man: Do you know me?
Woman: I think you're the father of one of my kids.
Man: Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?
Woman: No.... I'm your son's teacher.

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Why are hurricanes named with female names?

Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them.

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"Give it to me,"She begged. "I'm so wet! Give it to me now!"

She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella.

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My lesbian sister told me that most girls are like spaghetti noodles

Straight until you get them wet.

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What do you call a wet baby owl?

A moist owlette.

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Why are most hurricanes named after women?

When they come in, it's exciting and wet, but after they leave, half your shit's gone.

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A bloke notices a gorgeous bird giving him the eye in the supermarket.

"Do I know you?" he asks.
She says, "Aren't you the dad of one of my kids?"
He thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful and says, "Were you the hooker I fucked over the pool table at my bucks night, while your mate spanked me with a piece of wet celery while shoving that massive cucumber up my ass?"
She stares at him and says, "No, I'm your daughters teacher!"

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What do nearsighted gynecologists and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose.

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I made a dozen girls instantly wet yesterday because of my physique

no one can beat me at doing a cannonball in the pool.

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So today my wife was screaming Give it to me, I'm so wet! give it to me!

She can scream all she wants but the umbrella is mine.

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A cat falls in a pond and a rooster laughs.

The moral of this story? A wet pussy makes a cock happy.

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What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, begins with C and ends with T, and has both a U and a N in it?

Coconut

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A scientist wanted to develop a bra...

A scientist wanted to develop a bra that stops women's boobs from bouncing while running & doesn't show nipples when wet.

Don't panic, we killed the son of a bitch.

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Two policemen . . .

Two policemen call the station on their radio.

"Hello. ..... Is this the Sarge?"

"Yes?"

"We have a case here, Sarge. A woman has shot her husband
dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

"No sir. The floor is still wet."

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What are the most funny Wet jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Wet? Well, here are the best Wet dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Wet pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes