Following is our collection of funny Wet jokes. There are some wet driest jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these wet waterlogged puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
That takes the number of girls i've made wet this year to -1
They start off wet and wild but in the end, they take your house.
Coconut.
Because he took a leek!
(Please don't kick us out, just lettuce leave)
A wet nose.
NASA: I'm coming!
I think it's time to make a stand.
I take baths in wet places
Where the waters warm
And the soap chases my dirty away
I'm clean today
Now I'm not big on washing faces
Think I'll slip on down and wash other places
I take baths
In wet places
…are not a request…
She could scream all she wanted, I was not giving her the umbrella.
Mars: Come over
NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away
Mars: I'm wet
NASA: I'm coming over
You can explore wet dry reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean wet wetness dad jokes. There are also wet puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I told her she can scream all she wants, she's not getting my umbrella
Which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
"Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."
Because when they come, they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them.
Straight until you get them wet.
A moist owlette.
When they come in, it's exciting and wet, but after they leave, half your shit's gone.
no one can beat me at doing a cannonball in the pool.
She can scream all she wants but the umbrella is mine.
I got such a fright I almost wet her panties.
Two policemen call the station on their radio.
"Hello. ..... Is this the Sarge?"
"Yes?"
"We have a case here, Sarge. A woman has shot her husband
dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet."
When they come, they come wet and wild. When they leave they take your house and your car!
"I have an interesting case here," he said. "A woman just shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."
"Have you arrested her?" asks the sergeant,
"No, not yet. The floors still wet."
Because when they arrive they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car
...when they're coming, they are nice and wet. When they're leaving, they take cars, houses...
She could yell all she wanted, but I was keeping my umbrella.
They come at you all hot and wet and leave you without a house or car...
Because his grades were below C-level.
"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."
This is officer John, please send backup, a woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.
Have you arrested the woman?
No Sir, the floor is still wet.
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Bonus: by u/kismetpink They're straight until I get them wet
Bonus by u/Shaded_Trees: They both go limp after being warmed up
When I walked in I saw a "Wet Floor" sign. So I did.
If its wet, its time to go inside.
I have an interesting situation here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."
Have you arrested the woman?
No, the floor's still wet.
I pulled the letter "P" away from my skin and my son said "Dad, I peed on your back!"
-true story, just happened.
He was sitting on the curb, dressed in rags. He had his face in his hands and it looked like he was crying.
I felt kinda bad he was all alone, so I went and sat down beside him.
I said, "Are you an orphan, little guy?"
As he looked up, his eyes were still red and his cheeks still wet. He managed to crack a small smile.
"Yeah. What gave me away?"
I leaned in close and whispered,
"Your parents."
Because when they first come along it's all wet and wild with lots of suckin and blowin, but by the time it's over and they leave - your house is gone, your boat's gone, your truck's gone...
, the mother notices that the kid looks different.
So, she decided to do a DNA test.
The results come out, and show that the child isn't theirs.
She tells her husband, "I have some terrible news, dear. This is not our baby!".
The husband replies, "yes, do you not remember?
When we were about to leave the hospital, you noticed that the baby had wet it's daipers and told me 'honey, go change the baby' ".
It starts raining and without hesitating one of the ladies pulls a condom out of her purse and covers the cig to keep it from getting wet.
The other lady thinks this is genius and walks to the nearest pharmacy.
She grabs a pack of extra large condoms and proceeds to check out.
The cashier says," ma'am, are you sure you need these in extra large?"
The old lady replies, "well I'm not sure, do you think they'll fit a Camel?"
The teacher asked "Why didn't you put your hand up?" She said "I did! but it ran out through my fingers!"
Man, threading a needle is tough!
She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.
When they come they're warm and wet and when they go they take your house with them
Because if roof is rusty it's always wet in basement.
There are triplets in a mothers womb, talking about what they want to do when they grow up.
The first triplet says "When I grow up, I will be an electrician, because it's too dark in here."
The second triplet says "When I grow up, I will be a plumber, because it's too wet in here."
The third triplet says, "When I grow up I want to be a boxer, so that I can beat up that bald guy who comes in here and spits on us all the time!"
That takes the amount of girls I've made wet to -1
A speeding car splashes them with water before disappearing.
One guy says to the other, You know if this was Paris, they would stop, take you to their house, take your wet clothes, offer you drinks, and let you spend the night.
No way! says the other guy.
Yes way, says the first guy. It happened to my wife.
Which is bullshit because I ate more t-shirts than anyone else.
It stared raining and one of the ladies pulls out a condom, cuts the end off and puts it over her cigarette so it won't get wet. The other lady thinks this is a great idea so she decides to head to the store to buy some condoms.
When she gets there she goes to the counter and asks the cashier for a pack of condoms. He looks at her in disgust as he can't believe someone of her age would be having sex. He asks what kind she would like anyways as he doesn't want to lose his job.
She replys "honey, it doesn't matter what kind as long as it fits a camel"
Wet.
Source: me, now.
When they come, they're wet and wild. When they leave, they take your house and your car
A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor…
A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.
I have an interesting case here, he says. A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.
Have you arrested her? asks the sergeant.
No, not yet. The floor's still wet.
Stormtroopers always miss.
A wet nose.
She can yell all she wants, I'm keeping my umbrella.
Our son commented, "The rain is wet."
My friend laughed and said, "Wow, talk about stating the obvious!"
"He's always doing that," my wife said. "I don't know who he gets it from..." she laughed, pointing in my direction.
After a few seconds, I turned to my friend and said, "He gets it from me."
Shortly after arriving the officer called into the station to update the sergeant
Officer: "well sergeant, the old woman shot her husband because he walked through the kitchen while she was mopping the floor."
Sergeant: "did you arrest her?"
Officer: "no sir"
Sergeant: "why not?"
Officer: "the floor is still wet."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the wet moist jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working wet steamy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.