Following is our collection of funny Welsh jokes. There are some welsh countryside jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these welsh welsh sheep puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Friends say he died the way he would have wanted; comfortably in his sheep
Caerphilly.
What's the difference between sheep and women?
The Welsh don't know yet either.
Irresistible.
Welsh Fargo...
...gramps made me do it.
A Welsh farmer is out in a field with his son preparing the soil for planting. The farmer points to a corner of the field and tells his son
"Boy, that's where I had my first woman"
"Really?" replied the son
"Yup" said the farmer "and her mother was watching"
"What did she say" the boy asked
and the farmer told him "baaaaaaa"
I asked my welsh mate how many sexual partners he had had, but I never got to find out. Everytime he tried counting them he fell asleep.
...when his girlfriend asked him how many sexual partners he'd had?
Fell Asleep
Foreplay
They're really quite sheepish...
I guess that make me Well Hung
You can explore welsh zealanders reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean welsh shear dad jokes. There are also welsh puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Kids are their definition of a good time.
Why do Welsh farmers tend to have sex with sheep on the edge of a cliff?
So the sheep will push back
but each time, I kept falling asleep
I had no idea how to pronounce her name.
Caerphilly.
A drunk welsh man walks into a bar. How many women are pregnant at the end of the night? None, but I wouldn't eat the lamb!
Remove the vowels in his rack.
Sorry, my cat walked on my keyboard and accidentally typed something Welsh.
He started counting then fell asleep.
Attractive
A Welsh man is in bed with his girlfriend, and they're thinking about getting it on. As they're getting ready, the girlfriend asks the man how many sexual partners he's had.
He begins to count, and soon he falls asleep.
The English perfected them by removing them from the sheep before using.
Irresistible.
Well, they start counting, but they fall asleep before they're finished.
he started to count and he fell asleep.
Longest surname I've ever seen.
In 1272, a Welsh inventor created the first condom using a sheeps lower intestine.
In 1873 the English somewhat refined the idea by taking it out of the sheep first.
~ Obligatory edit. No, it took them 601 years to get the welsh out of the sheep to make the condoms.
Spray painting the sheep that bite.
Unless it's said by a Welsh person
It makes them rather sheepish.
when she asks, "How many sexual partners did you have before me?"
"I don't know." replies the Welshman. "Everytime I try and count them I fall asleep."
Depends on who the Welsh farmer fancies the most.
He started counting and fell asleep.
Caerphilly
A well Welsh well whale
i r r e s i s t i b l e (Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
The Welshman starts counting but falls asleep.
He puts the back legs of a sheep into his boots and walks towards the edge.
Delightful.
"Look at that strange animal daddy, man at the back, sheep at the front."
A Welshman enters a game show, and he is given the choice of three doors: Behind one door is a car; behind the others, sheeps.
He chooses door # 1 and the host opens door #3 to reveal a sheep behind it.
The host askes, "Do you want to change your choice?"
To which the man replies, "Nay, I'm good."
Welsh man to wife: "pass the sugar... Sugar"
Scottish man to wife: "pass the milk... ya cow"
The English then improved the idea by taking it out of the animal first
One day a man walked into a pub in Wales and ordered a pint of beer.
All the other men in the bar looked at him and the bartender asked, "You're not from around here, are you lad?"
"No," replied the man, "I'm from London."
"So, boyo," said the bartender, "What do you do for a living then?"
"I'm a taxidermist." Replied the man.
"A taxidermist?" asked the barman, "What's one of them do?"
"Well," replied the man, "I mount animals."
The bartender then turned to all the other welshmen in the bar and said, "It's o.k. lads, he's one of us!"
The English improved the design by removing the rest of the sheep prior to use.
The English later improved on the technique by first removing the intestines from the sheep.
He had to take a vision test, so they showed him a line of letters that said: B W N S T R Y D D W L L
They asked, "Can you read the letters?" The man replied, "Are you kidding? I'm *from* that town!"
So they push back.
They only rear sheep
Spray a red 'X' on the back of ones that kick.
Delightful!
The remaining two now call themselves The Semi-automatic.
They order a pint of beer each. As they are served a fly lands in their glass.
The English man pushes the pitcher away in disgust.
The Scot removes the fly with a finger and drinks the beer.
The Welsh guy picks up the fly, holds it above the pitcher and shouts : spit it out.
I said, "How can you say such a thing?"
Doctor: Can you read this chart from top to bottom please.
Welshman: Read it!? I know the guy!
The English improved on the invention by taking the intestines out of the sheep before using them.
The sun never sets on the British umpire.
Or is it just Wales.
It is only recently that they have decided to take the intestine out of the sheep.
Caerphilly
He died peacefully in his sheep.
Satisfying.
I call that a Wyn Nguyen
An English man, a Welsh man and a Pakistani man are waiting at a hospital as their wives had just given birth. A midwife comes in and explains that the name tags have been messed up and they will have to work out which baby belongs to who. The English man, by right, goes first and chooses what is clearly the Pakistani child. When the baby's father points this out to him, he says I know, but there's a Welsh kid in there and I'm not taking any chances
Welsh tongue twister champion from
LlanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogOGOgoch ...........................................................said "It was a tuff sentence"
While the Welsh loves the sexy sheep
Her: What's that make you?
Me: Wel-hung
But the English improved upon the idea by taking them out of the sheep
The English later improved the design by taking it out of the sheep first.
He says, "I don't know what's happening: I've grown a hairy chest, sideburns and I'm started talking in a Welsh accent.
"Ah", said the doctor, "I think you have Tom Jones sydrome".
"I've never heard of that", says the man, "is it very common?"
The doctor says, "It's not unusual."
He started to count but he fell asleep
I am well hung
To their surprise, the ship's company find the remains of a shipwreck there, a couple of decades old, and a single survivor, a Welsh mariner who has busied himself building an exact replica of a Welsh village, complete with a town hall, a pub, a rugby pitch, and two chapels.
"...Two chapels?" asks the ship's captain, and the castaway's face darkens as he nods in the direction of one of the chapels: "That's the one I don't go to."
I saw it written on a Glass Door.
Gavin moves to Wales and meets a coworker named Owain Hughes.
Gavin: Before you ask, no I don't Owe Wayne Hughes.
Caerphilly.
It was a ridiculously long name.
But it wasn't until the 19th century that the English perfected it by removing it from the sheep first
MAN: Hello ladies, love your English accentsβ¦
WOMAN 1: They're Welsh accents.
MAN: Well, may I buy you Welshland ladies a drink?
WOMAN 2: It's *Wales*, you idiot!
MAN: Sorry, may I buy you two *whales* a drink?
the welsh man said "sure but under three conditions."
first, the sheep shouldn't have any diseases obviously
secondly, I don't want anyone i know to hear about this
and finally, give me a week to gather the 1000 dollars for you
One day, in Great Britain, two Muslim schoolgirls were chatting away to each other in a foreign language on a public bus. The man sitting in front of them turned around and said, "This is England. Speak English." The woman in front of him turned around and said, "Actually, this is Wales and they're speaking Welsh."
The English perfected the condom by removing the intestine from the sheep
The nurse came into the waiting room holding 3 babies.
sorry gentlemen, there was a little mixup with who's baby is who's.
Sighed the Nurse.
The english man got to his feet and picked up an Asian baby, heading to the exit.
Hold on, that is clearly my child!
The Pakistani man exclaimed.
The English man turned and replied:
There's 2 white babies there and a 50/50 chance I pick a welsh one.
Delightful
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the welsh ewe jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working welsh lam piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.