Well Digging Jokes
45 well digging jokes and hilarious well digging puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about well digging that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Well Digging Short Jokes
Short well digging jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The well digging humour may include short digging jokes also.
- My mom said she's going to dig a hole in the garden and fill it full of water.... ....she means well
- ...well darn I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
- So there's apparently been over 200, well preserved tibia excavated in the area surrounding the great pyramid in Egypt... sources say it was a real shin dig.
- I'm really good at digging underground to find sources of water. You could say it's something I do well.
- Two clowns were crying near the circus A passer-by asks them why are they crying.
"Well, the elephant has died"
"And you loved him so much?"
"No, but they've put us to dig his grave" - No one digs a well at the top of a hill. What the h**... were Jack and Jill really doing up there?
- I walked into the lawn and saw my father digging a deep hole There was still water at the base of the hole.
What the h**... is that dad?
Well, son
Yes dad?
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Well Digging One Liners
Which well digging one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with well digging? I can suggest the ones about digging holes and grave digging.
- What did the man say after digging three holes in the yard? Well, well, well
- A man digs 3 holes in his backyard... he steps back and says "Well... well... well..."
- I got a job digging holes. It's well boring.
- I was gonna dig a deep hole... ... but it turned out well.
- I'm thinking about digging a hole to get some water It's going well
Well Digging Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about well digging you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean digs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make well digging pranks.
A man was digging a ditch, when he uncovered a lamp.
When he brushed it off, a genie popped out, and said "To show my gratitude for releasing me, I'll grant you one wish.."
The man thought for a second, reached into his pocket, pulled out a map of the world, pointed to the Middle-East, and replied "I want you to bring peace to this area."
"Ooooh...I'm so sorry, that's impossible" said the genie. "There's absolutely no way I could accomplish such a great feat, so you'll have to choose another wish..."
The man then said "Well...then how about having my wife give me o**...-s**... voluntarily...?"
The genie thought for a minute, then said "Can I see that map again..?"
Oldie but a goodie
An old farmer was busy plowing his field when he heard a terrible noise and looked up. A busload of politicians was careening wildly down the road, then spun out of control, flipped several times, and crashed into tree.
The old farmer hurried to the site of the accident. Seeing the wreckage and carnage, he sadly went about digging a large hole to bury the dead.
A few hours later, the sheriff came by, searching for the missing politicians. When he saw the crashed bus, he stopped and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer gravely shook his head and said he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied grimly, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road...
...when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's field.
The old farmer heard the tragic c**... so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.
A few hours later, the local sheriff was driving past the farmer's field and noticed the bus wreck. He approached the old farmer and asked where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer explained that he'd gone ahead and buried all of them. "Were they ALL dead?" asked the puzzled sheriff. "Well, some of them said they weren't," said the old farmer, "but you know how them politicians lie."
There were two fellas working for the town council one day, walking through the park.
One would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill it in. They worked furiously all day without rest, o**... digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I appreciate the effort you're putting into your work, but what's the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows behind and fills it up again.
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, normally we're a three-man team, but the bloke who plants the trees is sick today."
There's this lady who works in a bank...
... her name is Patricia Wack, but all her friends and colleagues call her Pattie. She's very good at her job. One of those people who pays painful and pedantic attention to detail, does everything by the book, and is generally a bit annoying, but does a great job as a bank teller.
One day, while she's going about her daily tasks, a frog hops up onto her counter.
"I want a loan," says the frog.
"Have you filled out the application?" asks Patricia.
"No," replies the frog. "I don't need to bother with all that b**.... Just go and get your manager. I've dealt with him before, and he'll give me the loan."
"Hang on," says Patricia, "I don't see any paperwork or ID, and I don't know the first thing about you. I don't know if you're having me on, or trying to defraud the bank. What's your name?"
"Kermit Jagger," says the frog.
"Now you're really having me on," says Patricia. "Get out of this bank before I call the police."
"No, seriously, go talk to your manager," says the frog. He digs around in his pocket and pulls out a Mr Bean Bobblehead. "Take this and give it to him. He'll know what it is."
Patricia reluctantly takes the toy, and walks upstairs to her manager's office. She knocks on the door, and he waves her in.
"What is it, Pattie?" He asks.
"Well, sir, there's a frog downstairs wanting a loan, but has none of the necessary documents or ID. He says he knows you, and to give you this." With that she places the bobblehead on the manager's desk.
The manager looks at it for a little while, smiles and says, "No worries, Pattie. You can go ahead and approve him up to $20,000."
"But sir!!! He has no ID or credit history with him! He didn't bring any paperwork, and won't do this by the book at all! What's going on, anyway? And what is that... toy that he made me bring to you, anyway?? What's that got to do with it?"
The manager sighs, leans forward, and says, "It's a nick-nack, Pattie Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Pig With a Wooden Leg
A journalist on vacation in Texas is driving on his way to do some sightseeing. Soon, he gets stuck in traffic. After slowly inching his way forward, he decides to take a back road. After getting hopelessly lost, he stops at the nearest ranch to ask for directions. Walking up to the ranch, he is met by a farmer, who is followed by a pig with a wooden leg. At first, the journalist is extremely confused, but then realizes that this could be an interesting new story, and asks the farmer about the pig.
"Oh, him? This here is Orville; he's one helluva pig. See those derricks yonder?" he asks as he points to the horizon, where indeed there are several derricks.
"One day, I was walking, and Orvill starts digging and a digging like crazy. Right after, he done struck oil, made me rich!"
The journalist, writing furiously, stops, with a stunned look.
"WOW! That's amazing! But...why does he have a wooden leg?"
The farmer replies, "Well, after we were rich, I built me a mansion. We lived really happily, until one day, a fire started! My wife and I got out, but the baby was still inside. Sho' nuff, Orville runs inside and rescues Junior!"
The journalist, amazed, continues scribbling furiously. "That's amazing, what a pig! But...why does he have a wooden leg?"
The farmer looks at him and says,
"Pig like that, ya can't eat in one piece, now, can ya?"
There were 2 blondes...
So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".
My water stopped working for a bit today.
My wife immediately said, "I'm going outside to dig a hole to catch the rain water!"
After the wife is gone I said to the rest of the family, "she means well"
s**........
Daddy is digging in the flower bed when little seven-yr-old Alice comes running out of the house, shouting, "Daddy, what's s**...?"
He slowly drops his s**..., straightens up and draws a deep breath. "Well, darling, it's like this... " he says, and starts rather reluctantly, giving a long and careful explanation of the ins and outs of the whole thing.
After about ten minutes he asks if she has understood. She nods silently. He then asks her why she so suddenly asked this question. "Oh, Mummy said to tell you that lunch will be ready in two secs", she replies.
A man named Martin is lost in the desert and came upon an oasis.
Upon stumbling into camp and drinking hastily from the well, the sheik of the oasis steps out of the largest tent and orders his guards to arrest him. The sheik explains that Martin has drunk from the precious little water left to the oasis and can either fight to the death with the sheik or dig and dig in the hot desert with no water till he finds another well. Martin, figuring he has no chance of surviving the digging, takes on the sheik.
The sheik, an expert fighter, pities him and offers him a shot of v**... to calm his nerves before facing his death. Martin, in his drunken stupor, takes up the sheik's sword and lops the sheik's head off with no warning. The whole oasis cries out in joy at the death of the tyrannical sheik and informs him that now he had become sheik himself, but Martin had already dozed off and not heard any of it, so they left him alone till he came to.
And on that day, the v**...'d Martin, he was sheik and not stirred.
A young boy is digging a hole in his garden...
A neighbour walks past and says "what's the hole for?"
The boy replies "my goldfish has died"
The neighbour responds, "it's a rather big hole isn't it?"
The boy replies once more "well yes, its got to fit your cat in it!"
Two Irishmen were working for the city public works department.
p**... would dig a hole and m**... would follow behind him and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, p**... digging a hole, and m**... filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing.
So he asked p**..., I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it:why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?
p**... wiped his brow and sighed, Well, we're normally a three-person team, but today the lad who plants the trees called in sick .
A blonde and a redhead watch the news...
A blonde woman and a redhead woman went to lunch. They had
to wait for their table so they sat in the bar and had a drink. The
TV was on and they noticed the news was showing a man on a
rooftop threatening to jump. The redhead told the blonde "I
bet you 50 bucks he jumps." The blonde replied "You're on."
Sure enough the man jumped, so the blonde starts to dig out her
money.
The redhead felt kind of bad so she said "That's okay, I
cheated. I saw this on the 10 o'clock news last night." The
blonde turned to her and said "Well so did I, but I didn't think
he would jump twice in a row!"
A man is waiting for a bus, when he sees a blonde across the street digging a hole...
...and another blonde immediately filling the hole back in with dirt. He watches as they move up the street doing this over and over again. The first blonde digs a hole, and the second one fills the dirt right back in. After a few minutes, he decides to ask them "excuse me, what are you ladies doing?"
"We're working" the first blonde replies.
"Just the two of you?" He inquires.
"Well" the second blonde chimes in, "there's usually three of us, but the girl that plants the trees called out sick"
How do you trap an elephant?
Well first you dig a really big hole. Then put dry leaves and wood in the hole and light them on fire. Wait for the fire to go out. Then cover the hole with leaves and wait for the elephant to walk by it.
Then, sneak up behind the elephant, and when it least expects it, kick it in the ash hole
A woman is sitting in a park one day, watching two men work.
A woman is sitting in a park one day, watching two men work. The first man digs a hole, and then the second man fills it back in. Then the first man digs another hole, and again, the second man fills it back up. They keep doing this over and over again. Finally, the women asks them, Why do you keep digging holes and filling them back in? One of the guys replies, Well, usually there's a third guy here who puts in the tree, but he's out sick today.
Two blondes were walking through the park digging holes and filling them up again.
One of them would dig the holes, and the other would fill them up. One man couldn't control his curiosity and asked the blondes why they were digging and filling holes pointlessly, to which one replied:
"Well, there was supposed to be another one of us planting saplings before we fill the holes, but she couldn't come so we'll have to make do without her."
By the book
Lady looks out her window and sees a couple of Parks and Recreation guys setting up cones before they start work.
They finish and o**... digs a big hole by the sidewalk.
He finishes, they chat and drink coffee, then he walks about 10 yards away and starts a second hole, meanwhile, the second guy begins filling in the first hole.
They finish, chat and drink coffee, then first guy digs third hole and second guy fills second hole.
She waits until they pause again and walks out to see what's going on.
"What are you guys doing?
"Well, lady, were supposed to be planting trees, but there isn't any budget to buy them, so the Union told us to get to work. So here we are."
A Guy was digging a hole
A guy was digging a hole and when he finished he asked his friend Now what am I going to do with all this dirt? His friend said well, why don't you dig another hole and put the dirt in that one
2man Team
Two Irishmen were working in the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.
After a while, one amazed onlooker said: "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick."
a lady visits her husband in a prison
A lady visits her husband in a prison. After talking to him she talks to a prison administrator:
"Shouldn't my husband be treated better? All this hard work he has to do!"
"What hard work?" asks the administrator "he's a librarian here."
"Well," replies the lady, "he was telling me something about digging a tunnel every night..."
I took the kids to the beach
So yesterday I decided to take the kids to the beach. Well after a while the kids decided they wanted to build a sand castle. My oldest was the natural leader of the group and was directing the others where to put the towers and such. Well the oldest self assigns the task of digging the moat around the sand castle. I said ok buddy, but don't screw up or you'll be demoted.
A man walks up to a well-endowed beautiful woman and says, I'll give you $100,000 if you let me touch your b**....
The woman immediately lifts up her shirt. The man stares at her b**... and does nothing else as 5 minutes passes by… Why aren't you touching my b**... yet?? , the woman asks. The man replies, Because I don't have $100,000.
This day and age, this market is filled with joker buyers and brokers that only want to look and see. Too many people are only digging for free information and trying to know what is the best market price with no intentions of actually buying anything.
Moral of the story: Think twice and verify before taking off your shirt.
I finally landed my dream job as a palaeontologist
It took years of studying and hard work, but I've never been happier.
As I excavated a new find from the ground, a mother and her young son passed by. She pointed at me and told him, "This is why you need to do well at school and get a good job, or else you'll spend the rest of your life digging in a hole just like him."
Workers are building a brutally tall chimney...
When they are almost finished, a foreman runs to them short of breath and shouts:
We are in deep s**... guys, someone turned over my construction plans...
We were supposed to dig a well!!!
An old farmer writes his son...
An old farmer writes his son (who is in prison) a letter and he tells his son that he won't be planting potatoes this year because there is no way he can dig up the field by himself. His son writes back and tells his his dad that there's no way he can dig up the field cause that's where he hid all the money he stole. Well, the cops read that letter and the next day the cops sure dug up that field good and proper. The same day the cops got to digging, the son writes his dad again telling his dad to go ahead and plant his potatoes and that is the best he can do from in here.
A woman is walking in a park when she sees two men working.
One man digs a hole, the other fills it back in. The two men go to another spot, the first man digs another hole, and the second man fills it back in. They then go to another spot. Again, the first man digs a hole and the second man fills it back in. They keep doing this for a while until finally the woman walks up to them and asks, "Why do you guys keep digging holes and then filling them back in?"
One of the men responds, "Well, there's usually a third guy who puts in the tree, but he's sick today.
Old Man VS KGB
An old man somewhere in the Soviet Union's has dug his vase. Early in the morning two KGB officers show up at his place and ask him about his vase. He swears to God that he hasn't got any food.
Then they give him a shovel and point at the place to dig.
He digs the vase.
"Huh you silly old man. What's this? What are you hiding in it?"
"I ain't hiding anything" says he and opens the vase. It is just as empty as he said.
"You old man, I don't understand this. Why did you dig this vase into the ground then?"
"Well..." starts the old man "I had a new neighbor moving in and I was curious if is he a snitch"