Welcoming Jokes

26 welcoming jokes and hilarious welcoming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about welcoming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Welcoming Short Jokes

Short welcoming jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The welcoming humour may include short welcomes jokes also.

  1. TIL in germany when someone is diagnosed with coeliac disease other coeliacs will chase and try and hit them with bread to make them feel welcomed. It's called gluten tag.
  2. a guy got an interview for a job with EA Boss: the second part of your resume is missing
    Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$
    Boss: welcome on board
  3. My kid says he came up with this one: A guy goes to interview for IKEA... The manager says Welcome! Come in and make a seat.
  4. "Dad, why is my sister called Paris?" "Because we conceived her in Paris."
    "ahh, thanks Dad! "
    "You're welcome, Backseat."
  5. What does the narcissistic cow say? "Meeeeee!"
    I wrote this.
    I'm now a comedy writer.
    You are welcome.
  6. God: *creates worm* Hey there little buddy! worm: Thanks for the worm welcome
    God: *creates birds*
  7. "Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery Addicts Anonymous." "I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
  8. Interviewer: Is the glass half empty or half full? Applicant: It's completely full.
    Interviewer: We'd be glad to hire you. Welcome to the Lays factory.
  9. Boss: Why do you- Me: *sshhh*
    Boss: What is your biggest wea-
    Me: *sshhh*
    Boss: (whispering) you're hired. Welcome to the library.
  10. Plastic surgery anonymous "Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous, I see a lot of new faces here today and I have to say I'm really disappointed with you all..."

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Welcoming One Liners

Which welcoming one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with welcoming? I can suggest the ones about greet and invited.

  1. Welcome to Masturbators Anonymous. I'm disappointed that you all came today.
  2. My friends that majored in English always tell me the same thing Welcome to Starbucks!
  3. Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous I see a lot of new faces today.
  4. What's 5q+5q? Them: Um, 10q.
    Me: You're welcome.
  5. Welcome to the plastic surgery addiction support group I see a lot of new faces around
  6. Welcome to the plastic surgery addicts meating I see a lot of new faces today
  7. Well... Well... Well... Welcome to stutterers anonymous
  8. Welcome to book-binding club Make yourself a tome.
  9. Welcome to the Assumption Club I think we all know why we are here.
  10. Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray.
  11. Hello and welcome to Contradictions Anonymous. What's your name?
  12. Well, well, well... Welcome to stutter class.
  13. Help! Rick Astley is overstaying his welcome at my house! He's never gonna say goodbye.
  14. Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!
  15. Hi, welcome to Necrophiliac Club. Who wants a cold one?

Welcoming joke, Hi, welcome to Necrophiliac Club.

The Funniest Welcoming Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about welcoming you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pleasant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make welcoming pranks.

I held the door open for an old japanese man, and he said "Sank you!"

Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."

Satan arrives to welcome a new d**... soul to h**....

"Congratulations!", he says, "You wasted your entire pitiful life!"
"Well," the man replies, "at least I'm not a adult living in my father's basement."

Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....

Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!
Then silence.
A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, I'm terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my should see my pants!!
A voice from the back of the plane yelled, Why don't you come here and see ours?

How do you keep Texans and their politics in Texas?

Place a "Welcome to California" sign on every road leading out of Texas. They'll turn right around.
*Edit*: Hey, hey, hey. If you don't like the joke, downvote ME. Leave my commenters alone!

A s**... bomber went to heaven.

The Angel at the front desk greeted him.
"Hi, welcome. There are 72 very h**... virgins waiting for you!"
"I knew it! said the bomber. "Bring me the women!"
The Angel smiled.
"Who mentioned women?"

A Jew walks into a church to see what it's all about

Before the pastor begins his sermon he exclaims: "Jews are not welcomed in this church! All Jews must leave immediately".
The Jew gets up, walks to the podium on which is standing a magnificent statue of Jesus, picks it up and says: "come on Yossle we are not welcomed here"

Welcoming joke, What does the narcissistic cow say?