Welcomes Jokes
32 welcomes jokes and hilarious welcomes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about welcomes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Welcomes Short Jokes
Short welcomes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The welcomes humour may include short welcomed jokes also.
- TIL in germany when someone is diagnosed with coeliac disease other coeliacs will chase and try and hit them with bread to make them feel welcomed. It's called gluten tag.
- a guy got an interview for a job with EA Boss: the second part of your resume is missing
Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$
Boss: welcome on board - My kid says he came up with this one: A guy goes to interview for IKEA... The manager says Welcome! Come in and make a seat.
- "Dad, why is my sister called Paris?" "Because we conceived her in Paris."
"ahh, thanks Dad! "
"You're welcome, Backseat." - What does the narcissistic cow say? "Meeeeee!"
I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome. - God: *creates worm* Hey there little buddy! worm: Thanks for the worm welcome
God: *creates birds* - "Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery Addicts Anonymous." "I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
- Interviewer: Is the glass half empty or half full? Applicant: It's completely full.
Interviewer: We'd be glad to hire you. Welcome to the Lays factory. - Boss: Why do you- Me: *sshhh*
Boss: What is your biggest wea-
Me: *sshhh*
Boss: (whispering) you're hired. Welcome to the library. - Plastic surgery anonymous "Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous, I see a lot of new faces here today and I have to say I'm really disappointed with you all..."
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Welcomes One Liners
Which welcomes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with welcomes? I can suggest the ones about greet and invited.
- Welcome to Masturbators Anonymous. I'm disappointed that you all came today.
- My friends that majored in English always tell me the same thing Welcome to Starbucks!
- Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous I see a lot of new faces today.
- What's 5q+5q? Them: Um, 10q.
Me: You're welcome. - Welcome to the plastic surgery addiction support group I see a lot of new faces around
- Welcome to the plastic surgery addicts meating I see a lot of new faces today
- Well... Well... Well... Welcome to stutterers anonymous
- Welcome to book-binding club Make yourself a tome.
- Welcome to the Assumption Club I think we all know why we are here.
- Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray.
- Hello and welcome to Contradictions Anonymous. What's your name?
- Well, well, well... Welcome to stutter class.
- Help! Rick Astley is overstaying his welcome at my house! He's never gonna say goodbye.
- Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!
- Hi, welcome to Necrophiliac Club. Who wants a cold one?
Amusing & Witty Welcomes Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about welcomes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean welcome back jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make welcomes pranks.
I held the door open for an old japanese man, and he said "Sank you!"
Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."
Satan arrives to welcome a new d**... soul to h**....
"Congratulations!", he says, "You wasted your entire pitiful life!"
"Well," the man replies, "at least I'm not a adult living in my father's basement."
Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....
Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!
Then silence.
A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, I'm terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!
A voice from the back of the plane yelled, Why don't you come here and see ours?
How do you keep Texans and their politics in Texas?
Place a "Welcome to California" sign on every road leading out of Texas. They'll turn right around.
*Edit*: Hey, hey, hey. If you don't like the joke, downvote ME. Leave my commenters alone!
A s**... bomber went to heaven.
The Angel at the front desk greeted him.
"Hi, welcome. There are 72 very h**... virgins waiting for you!"
"I knew it! said the bomber. "Bring me the women!"
The Angel smiled.
"Who mentioned women?"
A Jew walks into a church to see what it's all about
Before the pastor begins his sermon he exclaims: "Jews are not welcomed in this church! All Jews must leave immediately".
The Jew gets up, walks to the podium on which is standing a magnificent statue of Jesus, picks it up and says: "come on Yossle we are not welcomed here"
Welcome to the s**... Innuendo Club
Thank you all for coming.
Welcome to m**... Addicts Anonymous!
I see everyone came today, which is disappointing.
Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:
Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.
Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.
Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"
The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.
Yoda is working at a hotel as a concierge and a man walks up to the desk.
Yoda is working at a hotel as a concierge and a man walks up to the desk.
Yoda: Hello, welcome, you are.
Man: Hi, I'd like to book a t**... for the weekend.
Yoda: Sorry I am, only duplex we have.
Man: Are you sure? I really need the t**....
Yoda: There is no tri, only du.
